Read Online The Throwaway Year by Pepper Pace - Free Book Online Page B

despised about her ex. The list was much longer than the things that she liked about him.
    She huffed, and wiped the tears from her cheeks. He was a cheap man who had no problems having her take care of him. Him finding someone else was probably a blessing because now he was someone else’s problem. Besides, she hadn’t felt any sense of respect for the man in years. She couldn’t even pinpoint the exact moment that she had stopped taking pride in him and had internalized her dislike of him.
    Oh my God … she didn’t like MyKell and hadn’t liked him in years. Hayden cradled her face in her hands. Things hadn’t been right for a long time … MyKell knew it and now she could admit it too.
    Hayden jumped out of bed, not even sure what time it was , only knowing that it was late and that she should be asleep. Yet she wouldn’t be able to do that until she got on her laptop and found something that she had read in her list of affirmations. In this moment of her life, there was nothing truer than those words…
    When she found it , she read the words over and over until she had it burned into her memory. Perhaps this was her motto. It definitely was not a momentary inspiration, but rather, a lifetime lesson.
    Hayden closed her laptop and then returned to bed a much calmer woman. When she drifted into a peaceful sleep a short time later, it was carried on the wings of a dream that included a golden delicious apple.  The next morning Hayden wrote her newest affirmation in black magic marker across the top of her calendar instead of in the usual note area in back.
    I am perfectly imperfect. I strive for better while loving all that I am today. In loving myself today, I am better equipped to improve myself tomorrow.
    Hayden smiled and nodded and then headed for the gym. Today she would do the intervals even though Todd hadn’t told her to. She knew that she could do it because if she set her mind to it, she could do anything.
     
    ~***~
     
    When Hayden walked to her desk at her second job, she saw that the board was empty and that there was a new phonebook sitting there. Again she was excited and motivated to make a fresh start in a new book.  She greeted Brian with a quick wave and he tilted his head in acknowledgment. Then she looked over at Abdullah and when he met her eyes, she gave him a silent greeting mimicking the head move that Brian had given her.
    Abdullah gave the head move back and although she didn’t want to open the lines of communication with Marcus , she did the same thing to him, which he returned with a flourished bow and wink. Pam wouldn’t even look in her direction, so she did not receive a greeting at all.  By the end of the night, Hayden had two sales! She decided that she liked the city of Springfield, Illinois.
    When Brian went up to the board to add his initials , he gave Hayden an impressed look.
    “High five Hayden!” He raised his hand at her and she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to high five back or just laugh at him. White people were the only ones who still did high fives. She smacked his hand.
    “Thanks for that apple yesterday. It hit the spot.”
    “Well you’re looking less hungry. I mean… uh, I didn’t mean anything by that,” he stammered appearing flustered.
    “It’s okay.” She knew that she was overweight and had never been easily offended over it. Perhaps she should have cared more and then she wouldn’t be throwing away an entire year to get herself together.
    They were chatting about the Springfield area when Pam abruptly cleared her throat. They looked over and saw that Mr. Fox was heading for them. Brian stared at him while Hayden moved to her phonebook and began speaking loudly.
    “Thank you Brian. I understand now. You have been so helpful and have made it so easy to understand.” Okay, so maybe she was overdoing it, but she wanted Mr. Fox to know that Brian was helping her to be a better salesperson.
    “Hello Hayden,” he said.
    “Hi Mr.