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Authors: Ezra Sidran
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until he lets his guard down. I didn’t get a benzodiazepine injection today. And my brain was beginning to un-fog.
Hey, you want to hear another great Carol Montheim story?
“Yeah, sure,” the Authoritarian man answered.
Carol Montheim used to be a man, Liam Rochemont. See it’s an anagram. Liam Rochemont = Carol Montheim. No kidding; look it up. He had a string of hits, L.I.O.N. , The Lost Golden Aztec Cities, Rascally Robots, Going Fishing (man that was a weird game, I never thought that it would sell, he was like 20 years ahead of all those Deer Hunter games). Anyway, he was, like, 6-5, 280, had this thick beard. But what none of us knew was that he felt like he had been trapped in a man’s body all his life. So we’re at the Game Developer’s Conference banquet, up at the main table on the dais, and I notice that from the little card in front of the water glass I’m sitting next to Liam Rochemont, except when I sit down, here comes Carol Montheim, and she’s still 6-5, 280, but she’s – he’s – she’s had a sex change! But, it’s obviously Liam and I’m trying to be cool so I say, “So, ahh, Carol, what’s new with you?” And she said, “Not much, what’s new with you?” Isn’t that a scream?
“It’s not funny,” said the Authoritarian Man.
Jeez, what I was thinking? Of course Authoritarian Men in black suits, white shirts and black ties wouldn’t think the story was funny. If you think you’re born into the wrong body you’re just supposed to pray harder. Duh!
“Sorry,” I apologized, “I guess you had to have been there.”
So, Kate is throwing these greasy lumps of flattened processed potato ovoids in the general direction of Bill and he’s snarfing them down, along with great gulps of air (no wonder he has a flatulence problem) and I’m thinking, Bill just had a CardioTronic 413 pacemaker implanted up in his neck, this can’t be good for him. But, hey, look at Bill. Look at what he’s been through in the last two weeks. I guess Burger King hash rounds are okay. Maybe they’re the breakfast of champions.
“Is the client for this project the same as for the Baghdad wargame?” Nick asked and took another bite of his bacon-egg-cheese croissan’wich then wiped the corners of his mouth and the thin wisps of hair that he fancied were a moustache with a paper napkin that was more cardboard than tissue.
The Baghdad wargame was an offer that had come my way (in mysterious circumstances, though not quite as mysterious as Stanhope’s project) a couple of years ago but I had turned it down and took the teaching position at Mount Mary instead.
“I don’t know, Nick, but I would guess that they’re not the same clients,” I answered.
“Jake, you never really explained why you didn’t take the gig. I mean, it’s your business, if you don’t want to talk about it…” Nick’s question trailed off at the end and he went back to examining the contents of his breakfast; lifting the croissant that was glued with the cheese-like substance to something that purported to be bacon.
My career as a teacher was over but Nick was still my student. “We all know what’s going on in Iraq now. It was easy to win the war but the peace is killing us. The idea for the project was to create a four man game, i.e. the Sunnis, the Shiites, the Kurds and the Coalition, and work out a game theoretic solution to the problem of governance. The problem was that I didn’t buy into their model; in fact, I didn’t think there was a solution.”
Nick stared at me, confused, “But, Jake, you taught us in Game Theory that there was always an optimal solution.” Nick scrunched up his eyes and quoted me from last semester’s lecture (probably verbatim), “In zero-sum games involving two or more players the Nash Equilibrium is an optimal strategy where no player can gain by changing his own strategy.”
“Nick, I already gave you an ‘A’ for the class. That is correct, of course. But
Hey, you want to hear another great Carol Montheim story?
“Yeah, sure,” the Authoritarian man answered.
Carol Montheim used to be a man, Liam Rochemont. See it’s an anagram. Liam Rochemont = Carol Montheim. No kidding; look it up. He had a string of hits, L.I.O.N. , The Lost Golden Aztec Cities, Rascally Robots, Going Fishing (man that was a weird game, I never thought that it would sell, he was like 20 years ahead of all those Deer Hunter games). Anyway, he was, like, 6-5, 280, had this thick beard. But what none of us knew was that he felt like he had been trapped in a man’s body all his life. So we’re at the Game Developer’s Conference banquet, up at the main table on the dais, and I notice that from the little card in front of the water glass I’m sitting next to Liam Rochemont, except when I sit down, here comes Carol Montheim, and she’s still 6-5, 280, but she’s – he’s – she’s had a sex change! But, it’s obviously Liam and I’m trying to be cool so I say, “So, ahh, Carol, what’s new with you?” And she said, “Not much, what’s new with you?” Isn’t that a scream?
“It’s not funny,” said the Authoritarian Man.
Jeez, what I was thinking? Of course Authoritarian Men in black suits, white shirts and black ties wouldn’t think the story was funny. If you think you’re born into the wrong body you’re just supposed to pray harder. Duh!
“Sorry,” I apologized, “I guess you had to have been there.”
So, Kate is throwing these greasy lumps of flattened processed potato ovoids in the general direction of Bill and he’s snarfing them down, along with great gulps of air (no wonder he has a flatulence problem) and I’m thinking, Bill just had a CardioTronic 413 pacemaker implanted up in his neck, this can’t be good for him. But, hey, look at Bill. Look at what he’s been through in the last two weeks. I guess Burger King hash rounds are okay. Maybe they’re the breakfast of champions.
“Is the client for this project the same as for the Baghdad wargame?” Nick asked and took another bite of his bacon-egg-cheese croissan’wich then wiped the corners of his mouth and the thin wisps of hair that he fancied were a moustache with a paper napkin that was more cardboard than tissue.
The Baghdad wargame was an offer that had come my way (in mysterious circumstances, though not quite as mysterious as Stanhope’s project) a couple of years ago but I had turned it down and took the teaching position at Mount Mary instead.
“I don’t know, Nick, but I would guess that they’re not the same clients,” I answered.
“Jake, you never really explained why you didn’t take the gig. I mean, it’s your business, if you don’t want to talk about it…” Nick’s question trailed off at the end and he went back to examining the contents of his breakfast; lifting the croissant that was glued with the cheese-like substance to something that purported to be bacon.
My career as a teacher was over but Nick was still my student. “We all know what’s going on in Iraq now. It was easy to win the war but the peace is killing us. The idea for the project was to create a four man game, i.e. the Sunnis, the Shiites, the Kurds and the Coalition, and work out a game theoretic solution to the problem of governance. The problem was that I didn’t buy into their model; in fact, I didn’t think there was a solution.”
Nick stared at me, confused, “But, Jake, you taught us in Game Theory that there was always an optimal solution.” Nick scrunched up his eyes and quoted me from last semester’s lecture (probably verbatim), “In zero-sum games involving two or more players the Nash Equilibrium is an optimal strategy where no player can gain by changing his own strategy.”
“Nick, I already gave you an ‘A’ for the class. That is correct, of course. But
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