Read Online The Temptation of Lila and Ethan by Jessica Sorensen - Free Book Online Page B

I’ve had good practice. I have one daughter who’s an ex-junkie, and another daughter who’s been a little slut since she was fourteen.”
    “I was confused and didn’t completely understand what I was getting into.” I swallow hard, trying not to think aboutwhere my journey of being a slut started. “And you did nothing to help me. Nothing beneficial anyway.”
    “You made a choice, Lila,” she retorts derisively. “No one made you do anything. You
chose
to do it.”
    “I was fourteen,” I mumble, the detached feeling in my body starting to lift as the walls close in on me, shrinking me into a ball, just like they did to me when I was a child. My mother has that effect on me, even with a simple phone call. I cradle my knees against my chest and rest my chin on my knees.
    “Excuses are for the weak. And if you’d just admit that you made a mistake, and that you continue to make them, then maybe you’d finally be able to clean up your act.” She sighs. “You’re a beautiful girl, Lila, and your looks could carry you really far in life. Imagine what kind of man you could get if you’d try to date one instead of sleeping with them all.”
    “Wow, have you ever considered becoming a psychiatrist?” I ask sarcastically. “Because you’d be great at it.”
    She hangs up on me.
    I’m not surprised and I was hoping she would, otherwise she would have started lashing into me about how much of an utter disappointment I am. I press END , glad that I no longer have to talk to her. At the same time I’m hurt that she views me like she does, that she hates me, wishes I was someone else, someone other than who I am. Although, I don’t even know who that is so I can’t figure out how she does.
    I give myself thirty seconds to wallow, and then I call Ella to see what she wants.
    “Hello,” she answers cheerfully and I can’t help but smile because she used to be so sad. I’m glad she’s happy, although part of me envies her.
    “Hey, did you call earlier?” I ask, lying down on the linoleum floor and staring up at the ceiling. I miss Ella and everything, but it’s nice to live alone, too, because I’d never just lie down on the floor in front of her.
    “Yeah, I figured you might need to talk,” she says and I hear Micha shout something in the background.
    “We can talk later,” I tell her. “If you’re busy.”
    “No, we can talk now,” she insists. “Micha’s just yammering in my ear for no reason.” There’s laughter in her tone and Micha shouts out something else, but it sounds murmured through the phone. “Ethan made it sound like you needed to talk.”
    “Huh… He called you?”
    “Yeah, just a little bit ago.”
    I bite down on my lip, slightly irked, wondering if he called her to tell her to check up on me because I haven’t been paying the rent. The last thing I want to do is tell Ella my problems when she has so many problems herself. Plus, I don’t like talking about my issues—it’s what I’ve been taught. The only person I’ve told anything to is Ethan and even he doesn’t know everything. “Well, sorry to waste your time, but I don’t really have anything to talk about.”
    She hesitates. “That’s okay. I’ve been meaning to call you anyway.”
    “About what?” I’m trying to force the irritation out of my tone, but I can’t quite get there. The pills need to kick it up a notch so I can feel artificially happy.
    “Maybe I should call later,” she says. “You sound annoyed right now.”
    I sigh heavily, stretching my legs out. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little hung-over and taking it out on you. Sorry.”
    “That’s okay,” she replies very cheerfully and very unlike the Ella I first met. “You’ve put up with a lot of crap from me over the last couple of years.”
    “God, have we known each other for that long?” I manage to keep my voice light and cheery, even though my head is aching.
    “Yeah, we’re getting so old, right?” she jokes, but she