Read Online The Sweet Potato Queens' First Big-Ass Novel by Jill Conner Browne - Free Book Online Page A

don’t call him that.”
    I laid my fork down. “That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? It’s not Deke you’re interested in. It’s that he’s a doctor. Hang a stethoscope around a guy’s neck and you’re ready to drag his ass down the aisle. How can you give up your dream of being a country-western singer for a married man?”
    Tammy shook ketchup on her home fries. “Honestly, Jill, I wish you’d stop nagging me about that whole Nashville thing. Do you know the odds of me succeeding? Talk about wanting the impossible.”
    â€œYet you think it’s more probable that your horny little doctor will leave his wife. Don’t you read ‘Dear Abby’? They NEVER leave their wives!”
    â€œKeep your voice down,” she said, looking about nervously. “And he is leaving her, I tell you. And, for your information, I’m very much in love with Deke. Yes, I like the fact that he’s a doctor. And it’s true I crave the security of a Professional man—with money. You would too if you grew up living hand to mouth the way I did.”
    â€œEven if he does leave her, it won’t be the fairy-tale life you’ve been dreaming of,” I said in a fierce whisper. “Everyone will treat you like a home-wrecker. Men will flirt with you in inappropriate ways, assuming you’re a loose woman. Women will treat you like trash, because you’ve broken up a family. Meanwhile, the entire time you’re married to your darling Dr. Day, you’ll have to be on guard, because once a cheater, always a cheater, and pretty soon, you’ll be the one finding lipstick on his collar.”
    Tammy violently shook her head. “The only reason Deke cheats on Linda is because she’s completely frigid, and she doesn’t understand him like I do.”
    â€œGawd, Tammy. I can’t believe you’re swallowing the absolute oldest line in the whole book of ‘Lyin’, Cheatin’ Sacks-of-Shit.’”
    Thank heavens I’d met myself a steady-Eddie fellow. I took a quick glance down at my diamond engagement ring. It was dinky as all get-out, but my fiancé, Sonny, promised he’d get a bigger one down the road.
    Tammy must have noticed me looking at my ring because she said, “Just think. We both might be brides this year.”
    â€œYou wanna LOOK at food or you wanna EAT some, mister? Get outta my line ’til you decide what you want!” came a booming voice from the serving line. Mamie’s metal spatula went sailing and made a noisy clatter when it hit the floor. The customers at the Dream Kitchen were so used to her outbursts, hardly anyone looked up except, of course, the guy she was aiming at.
    I shoveled collards into my mouth and glowered at Tammy. “You’ll be marrying Dr. Day when the last wild monkey flies outta his ass.”

Chapter
6
    T he appliances in the kitchen are all from Sears and Roebuck’s,” the real estate agent said, sweeping her arm in front of a refrigerator as if it were a prize on Let’s Make a Deal .
    â€œEverything’s so…green,” I said with a frown. Ever since Marcy Stevens had dubbed me the Jolly Green Giant, I hadn’t been overly fond of the color.
    â€œAvocado,” the real estate agent corrected me. “But if you don’t like them, we have models with appliances that come in Harvest Gold.”
    The real estate agent was named Neecie Harrison, and she exuded feminine perfection—shoes matching bag, brows plucked into a perfect arch, hair curled into a neat bob.
    Could I be a real estate agent? I definitely liked poking around in other people’s houses. I pictured myself wearing a navy blue jacket and tossing around phrases like “Isn’t this an adorable alcove?”
    Sonny was in the den, sticking his head up the fireplace. He wanted me to go to college to be a health teacher, but I wasn’t