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Authors: Amy Asbury
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unhappy inside. I had no interest in being myself. I wanted to be what I thought he would like: someone really sexy. I dressed very skimpily, wore lots of makeup and tried to talk real “adult.” I was crushed when he told me he didn’t want me to be his girlfriend. I thought I was doing everything right. I looked and acted like I walked straight out of a Van Halen video; I thought it was every guy’s dream. I didn’t realize that my overly sexual behavior kept him from ever respecting me or really getting to know me. He treated me as I portrayed myself: some hoochie. I was this close to putting out my arms and shimmying at him like Pat Benetar, in my short, cut-off Guns N’ Roses T-shirts, tiny miniskirts, and my light grey Vans.
My mother did her best to stop me from moving too fast. She kicked my bedroom door open on more than one occasion. I was caught in many compromising situations. Some days we weren’t allowed to see each other, so Jeff hid in my closet. Other times I snuck out my window. I left my lights on and kept the music blasting before sneaking out. One time I turned on my hairdryer before I snuck out and my sister had to climb out of her window, and in through my window, to go and shut the hair dryer off, to make it look like I was in there doing my hair.
Jeff introduced my newly thirteen-year-old sister to his fifteen or sixteen-year-old buddy Mike Ferris. He had a mullet, buckteeth and a job at a dildo factory (yes). Mike fell instantly in love with my sister and showered her with roses and love songs on his guitar. He was goofy and clumsy, but had a good heart. My sister secretly called him “The Clums” once she got sick of him. They used to make out in her room for three hours straight. One time I got a tape recorder and put it under her bed. After a half an hour, my voice came on and said, “You’re too younnnnng…you’re too younnnnng,” like a man in a haunted house. I was kind of hurt that Mike liked her so much and Jeff was only interested in me for some action. But that is the way I behaved and what I put out there. My sister was relatively innocent and was acting like herself. I should have taken notes from her.
After a while, my mom started to bond with Jeff. She said he was climbing over the fence in the back yard to go to his friend Stephen’s house one day, when he slipped and slammed his nuts onto the fence. He couldn’t even move he was in so much pain. She helped him down and gave him ice and all that. After that they became BFFs, to my dismay.
My dad invited fifteen-year-old Jeff in for a beer a few times, trying to be cool with him. I thought I would like that, but I didn’t. I didn’t want my dad to stop me from seeing him, but I was also confused that he wasn’t trying to protect me more. Jeff revealed to me that my dad went over for a talk with his dad and they smoked a joint together. My dad told his dad to make sure his son didn’t get me pregnant. Get me pregnant ? He didn’t even tell him to try to prevent his son from having sex with me? It was as if my dad gave his blessing for this kid to plow me. Luckily, I never gave into actual intercourse, but hell, if I had, it would have been okay with my dad. Thanks, Dad.
CHAPTER FOUR
Down the Rabbit Hole
September rolled around and I turned fifteen on the first day of school. I went to the local public high school, which was only three houses down from where I lived. Middleton had been a very small school that had a ninth grade class of about twenty people, most of whom continued on to a private high school. My new school was HUGE, and full of people I had never before seen.
I was completely alone, I had no one to talk to whatsoever. I was walking around this enormous school, with all of these lockers and different buildings and I was so scared, I was shaking. I couldn’t believe I had only five minutes between classes to find the next class. I couldn’t even find my locker, as a matter of
My mother did her best to stop me from moving too fast. She kicked my bedroom door open on more than one occasion. I was caught in many compromising situations. Some days we weren’t allowed to see each other, so Jeff hid in my closet. Other times I snuck out my window. I left my lights on and kept the music blasting before sneaking out. One time I turned on my hairdryer before I snuck out and my sister had to climb out of her window, and in through my window, to go and shut the hair dryer off, to make it look like I was in there doing my hair.
Jeff introduced my newly thirteen-year-old sister to his fifteen or sixteen-year-old buddy Mike Ferris. He had a mullet, buckteeth and a job at a dildo factory (yes). Mike fell instantly in love with my sister and showered her with roses and love songs on his guitar. He was goofy and clumsy, but had a good heart. My sister secretly called him “The Clums” once she got sick of him. They used to make out in her room for three hours straight. One time I got a tape recorder and put it under her bed. After a half an hour, my voice came on and said, “You’re too younnnnng…you’re too younnnnng,” like a man in a haunted house. I was kind of hurt that Mike liked her so much and Jeff was only interested in me for some action. But that is the way I behaved and what I put out there. My sister was relatively innocent and was acting like herself. I should have taken notes from her.
After a while, my mom started to bond with Jeff. She said he was climbing over the fence in the back yard to go to his friend Stephen’s house one day, when he slipped and slammed his nuts onto the fence. He couldn’t even move he was in so much pain. She helped him down and gave him ice and all that. After that they became BFFs, to my dismay.
My dad invited fifteen-year-old Jeff in for a beer a few times, trying to be cool with him. I thought I would like that, but I didn’t. I didn’t want my dad to stop me from seeing him, but I was also confused that he wasn’t trying to protect me more. Jeff revealed to me that my dad went over for a talk with his dad and they smoked a joint together. My dad told his dad to make sure his son didn’t get me pregnant. Get me pregnant ? He didn’t even tell him to try to prevent his son from having sex with me? It was as if my dad gave his blessing for this kid to plow me. Luckily, I never gave into actual intercourse, but hell, if I had, it would have been okay with my dad. Thanks, Dad.
CHAPTER FOUR
Down the Rabbit Hole
September rolled around and I turned fifteen on the first day of school. I went to the local public high school, which was only three houses down from where I lived. Middleton had been a very small school that had a ninth grade class of about twenty people, most of whom continued on to a private high school. My new school was HUGE, and full of people I had never before seen.
I was completely alone, I had no one to talk to whatsoever. I was walking around this enormous school, with all of these lockers and different buildings and I was so scared, I was shaking. I couldn’t believe I had only five minutes between classes to find the next class. I couldn’t even find my locker, as a matter of
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