The Summer We Lost Alice

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Authors: Jan Strnad
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the air conditioner. Wallace says, "Smell the air, Pete. That's the real thing, not the smoggy crud they serve up in the city." Pete says he doesn't trust any air he can't chew.
    "You see those hills on the way in?" Wallace asks.
    "You mean those bumps on the ground?"
    "With a little investment, a man could make a decent nine- holer out of 'em."
    "I thought they just threw cow chips out here," Pete says.
    "Golf is universal. They even played it on the moon."
    "Your tax dollars at work."
    We pull up in front of the nursing home. The sheriff knocks on the door. Mrs. Nichols opens it. The sheriff apologizes for bothering her.
    "The boys, here, were wanting another look around."
    "Whatever for?"
    "Just a matter of routine," he says. He swivels his eyes in my direction.
    Mrs. Nichols glances at me. She nods.
    "I see," she says. "Please come in. I'll ask you not to disturb the patients who are sleeping. May I fix you some tea?" The sheriff accepts the offer. Wallace and Pete go off to look around. I don't think their heart is in it. I wish they had let me go with them.
    The rest of us go to the dining room. Mrs. Nichols asks a woman in a nurse's uniform to bring tea for the sheriff and milk and cookies for me.
    The sheriff and Mrs. Nichols drink tea and talk a little bit, but there doesn't seem to be much to say that doesn't involve Alice or the other missing kids. I can see they don't want to talk about that around me. Nobody does.
    Mrs. Nichols calls me "you poor boy" and says that this must be very upsetting.
    "You'd think so," the sheriff says. He looks at me hard, like there's something wrong with me for not breaking down in tears. He doesn't know what I'm feeling inside. I think he doesn't like me, that it's all my fault, which it is when it comes to Alice.
    After a few minutes, Wallace and Pete come back. Wallace tells Mrs. Nichols that it seems like a very nice place to grow old in. Wallace says maybe he'll come here himself, when the time comes, and let her take care of him. Mrs. Nichols says she doesn't plan to be here that long. She's retiring to Florida and letting her daughter take over, at least long enough to close the place down properly.
    I don't think the FBI conducted much of a search. I don't think they looked at anything, really. I think maybe the whole trip was just to show me what an idiot I am for believing in witches. I feel mad and I want to cry.
    As the FBI car is leaving, Mrs. Nichols smiles at me. Her smile makes a shiver run up my spine.

Chapter Ten
     
    "IT'S TIME, Mama," Uncle Billy says. "It's time he went home."
    My mother and father are coming to Meddersville to pick me up and take me back to Wichita. They're coming tomorrow. They should arrive around lunch time. They've made up, apparently. Whatever Dad did, he's been forgiven for it. I think maybe Alice's disappearance had something to do with that. Maybe it doesn't seem so horrible, by comparison.
    Aunt Flo doesn't want me to go.
    "He's all we have," she says. "He's the only one who saw what happened to Alice. He's the only one who can help us find her."
    "He's told all he can. He's told it a hundred times, to Sam, to the FBI. There's no need to keep him here. He's been through enough. It's time he went home."
    "It's like we're giving up," Aunt Flo says. "It's like we're all giving up."
    "Nobody's giving up."
    "They've quit searching. They aren't doing anything."
    "They've been all over those woods. She isn't there."
    "Then where is she, Bill? I can't stand not knowing where she is! She's my baby girl and I don't even know where she is!"
    Aunt Flo collapses into Uncle Billy's arms and cries. Uncle Billy holds her tight and says words that don't mean anything. He sees me watching and gives me a tiny, tight-lipped smile.
    Tomorrow I'm going home.
    I don't want to go home anymore. It's all I've wanted since I got here, and now I want to stay. I'm a crazy kid. I never want what I have, I always want something else. I want to stay because I want to

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