draped a shawl round my shoulders and stuck a ring on every finger. Carrie stroked dark shadow on my eyelids and purple lipstick round my mouth and then brushed my hair up into a crazy kind of bun. Crystal squirted me all over with scent even though it wouldnât show in a photograph.
Then we had a long, long, posing session, Dad snapping away until he eventually ran out of film. He developed the photographs himself, blundering round the bathroom in the pitch dark. I couldnât wait to see the finishedphotographs. I felt as if Iâd been transformed into this new grown-up magical pretty person. I looked for her in the photographs â but I just saw myself, looking a bit funny in a long frock with stuff smeared all over my face.
âI donât like them. Tear them up, Dad. Ugh, I look awful,â I said hastily.
âNo, theyâre very good. The lightingâs a bit haywire and youâre out of focus here and there, but on the whole theyâre great,â said Dad.
â
You
look great, Andy,â said Carrie. âYou know what? Youâll have to be a fashion model when you grow up. Youâre nice and tall already. Fashion models have to be very tall.â
I didnât know that. I thought about the idea. Maybe the photographs werenât too bad after all.
Dad gave me some copies to show to Mum when it was her turn to have me.
âOh for Heavenâs sake!â said Mum. âLook at the way theyâve got you up! You look awful, Andy. All that dreadful make-up. And youâre wearing that Carrieâs clothes. Why on earth couldnât your father take some proper photos of you in your own clothes, instead of all dolled up like a dogâs dinner.â
âI was being a fashion model, Mum. Carriesaid I could be a model when I grow up, she did, Mum, honestly.â
âShe would,â said Mum, shuddering.
âFashion models arenât
fat
,â said Katie, poking me in the tummy.
âI can go on a diet when I grow up,â I said, but I was starting to wish I hadnât taken the photos with me.
But then Paula came and had a look.
âDonât you look grown-up, Andy? No-one would ever think you were only ten. You look almost as old as me.â
That pleased me quite a lot.
And then Graham had a quick shuffle through the photos too.
âDonât, Graham. I look such a twit,â I said, going hot.
âYeah, you said it, Andy Pandy,â said Katie.
âI think you look pretty,â said Graham.
That pleased me even more.
â WHATâS MISS MAYNARD on about in this letter, Andy? Sheâs moaning about all your dental appointments, saying it would be better if you could go after school. But you havenât
had
any dental appointments, have you? You went for a check-up in the summer and you didnât even need any fillings. So whatâs going on, Andy?
Andy??
â
âHow did you do in your English test, Andy? And howâs the old arithmetic getting on? Why wonât you let me see your schoolbooks nowadays? You are still top of the class, arenât you? Andy, whatâs the matter?â
âCome along, Andrea, answer the question. Itâs no use looking at Aileen, sheâs not going to tell you. You werenât paying attention, were you? Itâs simply not good enough. Do you want to end up a complete dunce, is that it?â
âWhoâs been mucking around with my tights? Theyâre all wet and soapy. Youâve been messing about with your little rabbit again, havenât you?â
âHow are things working out for you and Radish, Andrea? Do you mind going from House A to House B and back again?â
âDo you know what time it is, Andy Pandy? Time to go home. Only you havenât got a home any more, have you?â
I DIDNâT DARE stay off school for a bit because Mum went to see Miss Maynard and they had a Long Talk. Iâm not ever going to be able to make out
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