bathroom.
She was already up and dressed in a tan business suit. She was adjusting her nylons. âYou donât look too good,â she said, giving me a sideways look.
âUh,â I said. âCan I use your shower?â
âYouâre wearing the clothes you came home in last night,â she said accusingly. âYou came wandering in at nine thirty, barefoot and wearing your leotard. Thatâs what youâre still wearing.â
I stared stupidly down at myself. Yes, I was wearing my morphing outfit. âUm ⦠my, um, I left my shoes over at Cassieâs. I was showing her some gymnastics stuff. Can I use your shower or not?â
âComing home barefoot and falling asleep without even having dinner,â my mom said, and shook her head. âRachel, if you are having some problems or something, I want you to talk to me.â
I did the wrong thing: I suddenly burst out laughing. âProblems? No, why would I have any problems?â I giggled, and wiped the sleep from my eyes, and giggled some more.
My mom sighed. âI have an early court appearance this morning,â she said. âThe Hallinan case. But I want you to stay home tonight. I think you and I need to have a little talk. I know your father has thrown a big problem into your lap. I know this decision is very difficult for you.â
âCan I use your shower or not?â I sighed, no longer giggling.
âGo ahead. Make sure Sara gets on the bus okay.â
I closed the bathroom door behind me and fled to the sanctuary of steaming hot water.
It started coming back to me then. All of it. Exploding out of the Taxxonâs stomach. The Ellimistâs offer. The sight of Tobias, back for too brief a time in his own body. Human again.
And the battle ⦠a rampaging, enraged bear. A bear that was me.
I shuddered. I was running out of hot water.
âRachel? What did you do, fall in?â It was Jordan, outside the bathroom door.
âJordan? Make sure Sara gets off to school, okay?â I called out. âIâm running a little late. You go ahead, too.â
I skipped school that day for the first time in my life. I lay around the house and watched daytime trash TV. I flipped channels back and forth, between one bunch of messed-up people and another bunch of even more messed-up people.
It was nice, watching other people with problems. Their problems all seemed easy compared to mine.
But over the electronic pictures of angry people and placating hosts, other images appeared. A Taxxon, split open like a torn bag of garbage. The frozen, silent screams of involuntary hosts in their cages.
And through all the television noise, I could still hear other voices. The Ellimistâs voice in my head. We can save a small sample of the human race.
And Jakeâs voice. You are out of control!
And my father. To another city. Another state.
I tried not to even think about everything that had happened the day before. I mean, it was so ridiculous. I lived in two completely different worlds.
One world was filled by my family, school, gymnastics classes, shopping, listening to music, watching TV ⦠normal stuff.
But then I had this whole other life. A life where I wasnât just Jordan and Saraâs big sister, and my momâs first child, and a teacherâs pet, and a gymnastics student who was weak on the balance beam.
In my other life I was ⦠a warrior. I risked my life. I fought in deadly nightmare battles against terrible odds. I became so much more than just a kid.
Noon rolled around and I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich. I turned on the TV in the kitchen while I cooked. And there was my dad on the noon news. He was doing a remote â a story from outside the studio. Some stupid event at the convention center.
I muted the sound and just watched the picture. I threw my sandwich in the trash.
âWhat am I supposed to do?!â I yelled suddenly, shocking myself.
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