word means that we must eat quiet food, speak quietly, have quiet thoughts.’
‘But that’s so dumb!’
Felicity eyes her disapprovingly, putting a finger to her lips. ‘Don’t you know what quiet means?’
My heart begins to pound as Lucille pushes away her plate. ‘I can’t believe you all just accept this stuff,’ she says loudly. ‘You just go along with it all. We should be able to walk wherever we want. There’s a big fence around this place, right? It’s not like we can go very far.’
‘Lucille!’ I hiss warningly. It’s not just herself she’s endangering; it’s all of us. What must he be thinking, watching this scene? My hands begin to sweat.
Lucille goes on as if she hasn’t heard me at all. ‘My remembering book is so full of rules – and most of them are so ridiculous! Like that one about none of us being allowed to dance.’ Lucille shakes her head. ‘I mean, seriously? If we’re so “special” how come we’re not allowed to have any fun?’
Harry seems as calm as ever. But I’m not Harry and I can’t stand this any longer. I jump up and grab the Lucille by the arm.
‘What are you doing?’ she screeches.
‘You’re going back to the changing room!’ I tell her. My fingernails dig into her skin as I drag her back. I can’t believe she would be so stupid. She knows better than to fight me, at least – but she keeps complaining about the ridiculous rules even after I’ve slammed the door in her face.
When I return to the kitchen, Harry says to me, ‘You did the right thing,’ but I am not so sure he means it. I peek at his face and it’s ashen. It’s clear that he has the same concern that I do – that there’s no way Lucille will be ready to join us by the end of the week.
It feels like I’ve only just drifted off to sleep when I wake again with a start, my heart racing. I can hear something out in the corridor. Someone calling.
‘Esther? Are you awake?’ Even when I realise, with a flush of relief, that it’s just Harry out there, my heart still pounds.
‘Is something wrong?’
‘I received a message,’ he tells me, his voice just on the other side of my door. ‘We’re doing a sharing tonight.’ Before I can say anything, he adds, ‘Lucille has to be there too.’
‘Really?’ I can’t imagine Lucille standing there and confessing to the mistakes she’s made. I doubt she thinks she’s made any.
‘Yes,’ says Harry. ‘ He was very definite about it.’
I get up. ‘I’ll go and get her,’ I say. ‘You wake Felicity.’
Lucille sits up as I walk into the changing room with a candle held high.
‘What’s going on?’ she says. There’s a glimmer of fear in her eyes. Good . This is what she should be feeling. It’s what I feel myself.
‘Get dressed and you’ll find out,’ I tell her. ‘And make sure you behave yourself. Believe me, you don’t want to make any mistakes tonight.’
Lucille dresses quickly and silently while I wait. Her breathing is rapid, unsure.
When she’s done, I lead her down the corridor to the parlour where Harry and Felicity are already waiting, hands folded in front of them. Lucille hovers in the doorway. ‘What’s going on?’ she says.
‘We’re doing a sharing,’ I tell her. ‘It’s when we four come together and share with the others the mistakes we’ve made. The things we’re feeling weighed down by.’
‘And then what?’ Lucille asks, suspiciously.
‘Then we wait to see who feels the burden of their guilt the most,’ I say. ‘And that person …’
Harry finishes the sentence for me. ‘They are given a chance to have their burden taken away from them.’
I glance at him. I suppose that’s one way of putting it.
‘What if I don’t feel guilty about anything?’ says Lucille.
Harry smiles. ‘I’m sure you’ll think of something.’ He stretches out a hand towards her. ‘Come on, Lucille. Come and join us.’
Lucille doesn’t accept his hand, but walks over to where he and
‘But that’s so dumb!’
Felicity eyes her disapprovingly, putting a finger to her lips. ‘Don’t you know what quiet means?’
My heart begins to pound as Lucille pushes away her plate. ‘I can’t believe you all just accept this stuff,’ she says loudly. ‘You just go along with it all. We should be able to walk wherever we want. There’s a big fence around this place, right? It’s not like we can go very far.’
‘Lucille!’ I hiss warningly. It’s not just herself she’s endangering; it’s all of us. What must he be thinking, watching this scene? My hands begin to sweat.
Lucille goes on as if she hasn’t heard me at all. ‘My remembering book is so full of rules – and most of them are so ridiculous! Like that one about none of us being allowed to dance.’ Lucille shakes her head. ‘I mean, seriously? If we’re so “special” how come we’re not allowed to have any fun?’
Harry seems as calm as ever. But I’m not Harry and I can’t stand this any longer. I jump up and grab the Lucille by the arm.
‘What are you doing?’ she screeches.
‘You’re going back to the changing room!’ I tell her. My fingernails dig into her skin as I drag her back. I can’t believe she would be so stupid. She knows better than to fight me, at least – but she keeps complaining about the ridiculous rules even after I’ve slammed the door in her face.
When I return to the kitchen, Harry says to me, ‘You did the right thing,’ but I am not so sure he means it. I peek at his face and it’s ashen. It’s clear that he has the same concern that I do – that there’s no way Lucille will be ready to join us by the end of the week.
It feels like I’ve only just drifted off to sleep when I wake again with a start, my heart racing. I can hear something out in the corridor. Someone calling.
‘Esther? Are you awake?’ Even when I realise, with a flush of relief, that it’s just Harry out there, my heart still pounds.
‘Is something wrong?’
‘I received a message,’ he tells me, his voice just on the other side of my door. ‘We’re doing a sharing tonight.’ Before I can say anything, he adds, ‘Lucille has to be there too.’
‘Really?’ I can’t imagine Lucille standing there and confessing to the mistakes she’s made. I doubt she thinks she’s made any.
‘Yes,’ says Harry. ‘ He was very definite about it.’
I get up. ‘I’ll go and get her,’ I say. ‘You wake Felicity.’
Lucille sits up as I walk into the changing room with a candle held high.
‘What’s going on?’ she says. There’s a glimmer of fear in her eyes. Good . This is what she should be feeling. It’s what I feel myself.
‘Get dressed and you’ll find out,’ I tell her. ‘And make sure you behave yourself. Believe me, you don’t want to make any mistakes tonight.’
Lucille dresses quickly and silently while I wait. Her breathing is rapid, unsure.
When she’s done, I lead her down the corridor to the parlour where Harry and Felicity are already waiting, hands folded in front of them. Lucille hovers in the doorway. ‘What’s going on?’ she says.
‘We’re doing a sharing,’ I tell her. ‘It’s when we four come together and share with the others the mistakes we’ve made. The things we’re feeling weighed down by.’
‘And then what?’ Lucille asks, suspiciously.
‘Then we wait to see who feels the burden of their guilt the most,’ I say. ‘And that person …’
Harry finishes the sentence for me. ‘They are given a chance to have their burden taken away from them.’
I glance at him. I suppose that’s one way of putting it.
‘What if I don’t feel guilty about anything?’ says Lucille.
Harry smiles. ‘I’m sure you’ll think of something.’ He stretches out a hand towards her. ‘Come on, Lucille. Come and join us.’
Lucille doesn’t accept his hand, but walks over to where he and