Read Online The Sky is Changing by Zoë Jenny - Free Book Online Page B

won’t happen again,” he said angrily, hitting the table with his fist and furiously stubbing out the halfsmoked cigarette. It looked like a broken leg.
    Finally, over dinner, he told her about a particular executive who had let him down badly, giving wrong indications. But after all, it was his responsibilty, and this setback came as a huge blow. Anthony had hoped for a promotion the following year. When he started at HowlandRoberts he had told her excitedly about analysts who were highly ranked, treated like stars, who got huge promotions, and he had left her in no doubt that this was exactly what he was aiming for. He worked hard, getting up at six every morning and, at least twice a week, he called her from the office to tell her not to expect him for dinner because he was working late.
    Claire admired his dicipline and ambition, and after his MBA and a Masters in Finance he had all the tools he needed for a career in the City. He shifted around the broccoli and carrots on his plate with a concentrated expression as if he was figuring out some complex mathematical problem, only half-listening when Claire told him about the near accident.
    â€œThey are just kids, fooling around,” he said, playing it down as if she was making too much of a fuss about it.
    â€œFooling around? I could have hit one of them, or hurt myself. They’re mean little bastards, Anthony, you should have seen the hatred they had in their faces. I wonder where that comes from.”
    For a moment they were silent, and the only noise was the scraping of cutlery on plates. Anthony looked tired. “Unfortunately, you’ll just have to put up with it, because at the moment we can‘t afford to move to South Kensington, or even Duncan Terrace for that matter.”
    â€œI didn’t suggest that we move house. I just told you what happened. Apparently we don’t have the friendliest neigbourhood, that’s all.”
    Maybe it wasn’t the best time to talk about something delicate, but Claire had been waiting to tell him all along that Sam and Christine were thinking about adopting a child, and she couldn’t hold back any longer. Anthony looked at her flabbergasted. “Well,” he said, chewing slowly on a piece of steak, “if that’s what they want to do, good luck to them.”
    â€œIs that all?” she asked. “I mean, why aren’t we considering it? Since it seems we can’t have our own children either.”
    â€œI would never ever adopt a child unless we had tried absolutely everything else first.”
    â€œBut we have been trying for –”
    â€œ15 months,” Anthony said and after a pause, “I want to reproduce.” Claire smiled afflicted. How technical that sounded. ‘Reproducing’. Like something animals do to sustain the population. “I want to pass on my genes,” Anthony continued, “so something from me lives on, you know. Some people even say this is the meaning of life.”
    Anthony followed a clear path: the house, the marriage, a child, then a bigger house... the usual aspirations. And why not? After her accident, Claire knew she could never dance again and have a fabulous career like Anne, the award-winning architect with work in magazines. She saw herself ready to settle and have a family. But Anne now had a child... she had it all, and where was Claire?
    â€œJust stop feeling so goddam sorry for yourself!” Anthony said briskly, getting up from the table. He had read her expression, that withdrawn, distant look again, which he saw as an indication she was brooding over all the bad luck she had. And how right he was, she thought.
    Standing behind her, he slowly massaged her shoulders, a sign that his mood had changed, a familiar gesture that indicated he was calm and wanted her to be calm too.
    â€œI can’t help but think we still have a good chance, Claire. That the problem is something that hasn’t been