Read Online The Shiksa Syndrome: A Novel by Laurie Graff - Free Book Online Page A

matte to her lips.
    “Let me see that.” I grab the lipstick and turn it over to confirm the name. Just yesterday, Ellen from Ramy messengered over some samples. I apply it to my lips, and it looks so good. “This is definitely my color.”
    “In more ways than one,” says Krista, taking back the lipstick and tucking it inside her purse. “That would have been way embarrassing.”
    “I know,” I say, and run my fingers underneath my hair to give it a bit of a lift. I’m really liking my new hair, new eyes, new weight, new guy. “I decided. I’m not telling.”
    “Aimee!” Krista leans up against the marble vanity sink shocked, not awed. “You of all people. I can’t believe you would go on with this sham. Especially after everything you’ve been through. How can you do something like that to Josh?”
    “I don’t feel I’m doing anything to Josh he doesn’t want done,” I answer, but don’t want to face her so I go into the bathroom stall, close the door, and pee.
    “You should have heard him at dinner,” I continue, talking from behind the locked door. “He has so many preconceived ideas about Jewish women. Get this: he thinks I’m really different from those
other
girls. We see what we want to see, huh?”
    Feeling on stronger ground, I reemerge. “I’m actually helping him to break his stereotypes.”
    “And create a set of new ones,” she says. Now Krista goes into the stall. Once she moves, I use the sink.
    “Look, by the time he gets to really know me, it won’t matter. I mean, I’ll still be me and—”
    “If all else fails, you can always convert,” she shouts over the flush of the toilet. “Seriously, Aimee. I’m worried about you. I mean, I know you. Are you even ready to date? I doubt you’re over Peter, do you think maybe you’re—?”
    “Us both being Jewish can make having a family a lot easier,” I go on, oblivious, speaking over the running water. Krista now stands behind me. I see her reflection in the mirror. “But I’m going to need your help,” I talk to her image, unable to actually face her. “Can I count on you?”
    She doesn’t readily answer.
    “Krista?”
    “I don’t want to start my relationship with Matt off on a lie,” she says.
    “Wow. You’re like already serious. Did you—”
    “No. Not yet, and it’s not going to happen tonight,” Krista quickly responds. “I don’t want to go that fast.”
    “By the way, how fast does a shiksa go?”
    “Depends on the shiksa!”
    We laugh.
    “Well, let’s say . . . the shiksa is me,” I say, and, for the time being, we are off the other topic. Whatever happens, I’m grateful that at least circumcision won’t blow my cover.
    “Well,” she says, studying me. “What are you?”
    I look at her and draw a blank.
    “It depends what kind of shiksa you are. Just like you Jewish girls, we’re not all the same, you know. Sex is different for every denomination.”
    “Really?” True or false, Krista scares the panties off me.
    “Didn’t you do your homework?” she asks.
    “I hadn’t thought of it, but—”
    “Well, think about it. Are you a lapsed Catholic, practicing Protestant, a Baptist?”
    “Okay, definitely not a Bap—”
    “Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist . . . ?” Krista waves the white paper towel she’s just used to wipe her hands in the air as if it were my flag of surrender. “I’m surprised at you, Aimee. You’re usually so detail-oriented.”
    “Okay, I see your point.” I confess to being more than just a little bit out of my league. “I’ll do some research, I’ll figure something out . . . you know, in case he asks. But I think he already knows.” This last comment pops out of my mouth only for protection but inspires a comforting idea.
    “How can he know what you don’t?”
    “Because, Krista,” I say, educating my friend as I suspect she may soon opt to become a member of my original tribe, “you’re either Jewish or you’re Not. To Josh, my religion