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Authors: Vicki Pettersson
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weapon I had left. “No wonder she left you.”
He picked up his pen and began writing again, never looking up. “She left you too.”
Well, that was the crux of it, wasn’t it? My mother had left me. Sure, she’d left Xavier and Olivia too, but they hadn’t been recovering from a life-threatening attack. They hadn’tfelt it as yet one more in a string of devastating losses. They hadn’t needed her like I had.
But there was no point rehashing all that now, I told myself. My mother had walked away from her family—simple as that—and like the rest of my joyful past—not—it was behind me. So as I left Xavier’s office I imagined stomping down on the memories that voicing my mother’s name had evoked, grinding them back down with the heel of my boot into the mental grave where all my old pains rested. I was no longer that fragile-minded teen with a damaged body and a weary soul. I didn’t need or want my mother in my life anymore.
I’d just reached the foyer and was shooting imaginary bullets at Xavier’s giant portrait when I heard the snuffling. It was a faintly strangled sound, and as easily recognizable as the beating of my heart. I found Olivia standing at the large leaded windows overlooking the side lawns, her body in silhouette, her curves and curls and color mocking the severe lines of the cold glass panes. Her arms were wrapped around her core like she was holding herself together…and had been, I thought, for a long while. My heart dipped at the fragile, if stunning, picture she made, and I descended quickly into the sunken living room. I knew she heard me; her head tilted, but she didn’t turn.
“Hey,” I said softly, laying a hand on her shoulder. “Where’s the One Name Wonder?”
“Outside,” Olivia sniffled, and I knew it was bad when she didn’t insist I call Cher by her proper name. “Waiting in the car.”
“You’re going to be late for high tea,” I said, turning her toward me and wrapping my arms around her. All the latent maternal instincts I’d never wanted scuttled forward whenever I saw my sister with tears in her eyes. Sure, I teased her about things we both knew didn’t matter, but if anything truly touched her heart, my hackles went up like a she-wolf protecting her cub.
“Are you sure we can’t get together tonight?” she asked,looking down into my eyes with her own imploring ones. We were usually the same height, but she was teetering on four-inch Manolos. “I really want to spend some time with you.”
“I have a date,” I said quietly, and watched her face fall. “With Ben.”
She clasped her hands together with a surprised cry of delight, and her teary eyes suddenly shone with something more. “Oh, Joanna!”
“Don’t make too much of it,” I said, but even I was having a hard time keeping the excitement from my voice. “It’s just a date.”
“But it’s Ben. Benjamin Traina,” she sighed heavily, and crossed her hands over her heart. “I always knew you two were meant for one another. Oh, you have to tell me everything!”
“I will,” I promised. “Tomorrow.”
“Tonight,” she insisted, squeezing me.
“Olivia…” I tried to make my voice firm, but her excitement was contagious. Besides, she was the only one who knew, who could know, what this meant to me. “All right. I’ll stop by your place around eleven-thirty or so. We should be finished by then.”
“I’ll give you your gift then too, though it can’t compete with Ben Traina!”
What could? I thought, pulling from her grasp. I smoothed her hair from her face and smiled. “You should go clean up. You’ll be a mess for tea time.”
She nodded but didn’t move. “Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “I’m used to it.” And then, because I knew she needed to believe it, I forced a bright smile. “Really. I’m fine.”
Another nod, then she squeezed my hand before we both turned toward the door. We couldn’t talk in Xavier’s house. Nothing happened within
He picked up his pen and began writing again, never looking up. “She left you too.”
Well, that was the crux of it, wasn’t it? My mother had left me. Sure, she’d left Xavier and Olivia too, but they hadn’t been recovering from a life-threatening attack. They hadn’tfelt it as yet one more in a string of devastating losses. They hadn’t needed her like I had.
But there was no point rehashing all that now, I told myself. My mother had walked away from her family—simple as that—and like the rest of my joyful past—not—it was behind me. So as I left Xavier’s office I imagined stomping down on the memories that voicing my mother’s name had evoked, grinding them back down with the heel of my boot into the mental grave where all my old pains rested. I was no longer that fragile-minded teen with a damaged body and a weary soul. I didn’t need or want my mother in my life anymore.
I’d just reached the foyer and was shooting imaginary bullets at Xavier’s giant portrait when I heard the snuffling. It was a faintly strangled sound, and as easily recognizable as the beating of my heart. I found Olivia standing at the large leaded windows overlooking the side lawns, her body in silhouette, her curves and curls and color mocking the severe lines of the cold glass panes. Her arms were wrapped around her core like she was holding herself together…and had been, I thought, for a long while. My heart dipped at the fragile, if stunning, picture she made, and I descended quickly into the sunken living room. I knew she heard me; her head tilted, but she didn’t turn.
“Hey,” I said softly, laying a hand on her shoulder. “Where’s the One Name Wonder?”
“Outside,” Olivia sniffled, and I knew it was bad when she didn’t insist I call Cher by her proper name. “Waiting in the car.”
“You’re going to be late for high tea,” I said, turning her toward me and wrapping my arms around her. All the latent maternal instincts I’d never wanted scuttled forward whenever I saw my sister with tears in her eyes. Sure, I teased her about things we both knew didn’t matter, but if anything truly touched her heart, my hackles went up like a she-wolf protecting her cub.
“Are you sure we can’t get together tonight?” she asked,looking down into my eyes with her own imploring ones. We were usually the same height, but she was teetering on four-inch Manolos. “I really want to spend some time with you.”
“I have a date,” I said quietly, and watched her face fall. “With Ben.”
She clasped her hands together with a surprised cry of delight, and her teary eyes suddenly shone with something more. “Oh, Joanna!”
“Don’t make too much of it,” I said, but even I was having a hard time keeping the excitement from my voice. “It’s just a date.”
“But it’s Ben. Benjamin Traina,” she sighed heavily, and crossed her hands over her heart. “I always knew you two were meant for one another. Oh, you have to tell me everything!”
“I will,” I promised. “Tomorrow.”
“Tonight,” she insisted, squeezing me.
“Olivia…” I tried to make my voice firm, but her excitement was contagious. Besides, she was the only one who knew, who could know, what this meant to me. “All right. I’ll stop by your place around eleven-thirty or so. We should be finished by then.”
“I’ll give you your gift then too, though it can’t compete with Ben Traina!”
What could? I thought, pulling from her grasp. I smoothed her hair from her face and smiled. “You should go clean up. You’ll be a mess for tea time.”
She nodded but didn’t move. “Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “I’m used to it.” And then, because I knew she needed to believe it, I forced a bright smile. “Really. I’m fine.”
Another nod, then she squeezed my hand before we both turned toward the door. We couldn’t talk in Xavier’s house. Nothing happened within
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