Read Online The Scent of Apples by Jacquie McRae - Free Book Online Page A

leaves off my pants and check again that my scarf is still in place.
    â€˜I was going to walk along the riverbank and check on some grafts in Daffodil paddock. Do you want to come?’
    I see the look of hope in his eyes.
    â€˜Sorry, Mum’s expecting me back for breakfast. I better go.’
    Toby frowns, and I know he’s struggling to work out why his biggest fan is pushing him away. He knows I’m lying. I usually spend most of my time telling Toby what a controlling cow my mother is, and he spends most of his time making up reasons why he needs my help in the orchard.
    â€˜Maybe another day,’ I say.
    â€˜Yeah, sure. I forgot something in the barn so I’ll walk back to the house with you.’
    I can’t tell Toby that I was going to sit with a rock on the edge of the river for a while. I feel like I’ve deserted Patrick – I haven’t left any offerings for weeks. But I suppose he deserted me first, so we’re even.
    Small gravel stones flick up from Toby’s steel-capped boots as we walk along. I concentrate on the piffing sound they make as they flick on to the ground. The only thing keeping the silence away.
    â€˜Looks like it might be a nice day,’ he says.
    I nod my head but keep staring at the ground.
    â€˜That old tabby’s been hanging around the barn again; looks like she’s about to drop another litter.’
    â€˜Cool,’ I say, but without the enthusiasm to go with it, it comes out like, ‘So what?’
    Over the years, we’d had dozens of stray cats lurking around the barn. The wood pile outside and crates staked up high against the side of the barn make perfect hiding places for cats. Poppa, Toby and I all left saucers of milk and snacks of tuna for them to eat when they were using our place like the local maternity hospital.
    Poppa had named the tabby Tallulah after a character in Bugsy Malone, a movie we watched together. Tallulah was the girlfriend of Sam, the guy who owned the bar in the movie. She was a bit of a flirt and loved shimmying around on the stage. Each year our Tallulah produced at least three litters. Poppa reckoned Tallulah must be a hell of a good dancer to attract so many boys.
    Poppa won’t see the new batch of kittens, and that pisses me off. Nothing can ever be right in the world any more.
    Toby and I both stop on the intersection of the pathways. Dug into the fork, on a lean, is a signpost with hand-painted wooden flags on it. Most of the paint is either chipped off or worn away. A wonky red arrow points the way to the barn. Underneath the arrow in childish writing I’ve written ‘Charlotte’s web.’ The flag that says ‘Wild things’ has an arrow pointing to the path through the trees and down to the river. ‘Narnia’ points towards the house. Both of us look towards it.
    I feel Toby staring at me. I shuffle my feet around in the dirt like I’m trying to unearth some treasure.
    â€˜Libby, I know there is nothing I can say that will take away any of your pain, but I do share a little bit of it with you.’
    I kick my toe into the dirt harder.
    â€˜Most people pass through your life, but the special ones, like your Poppa, leave a fingerprint on your heart forever. I miss him too and it hurts, but I wouldn’t have missed meeting him for anything.’
    I want to break down, here and now, and tell Toby everything. I can almost feel his strong arms wrap around me. My tears soaking into the front of his shirt.
    As much as I want to share my grief and unload myself of my crazy compulsion, I’m too ashamed. I bite down hard on the insides of my cheeks, and taste blood. Someone has to hold on to the image of what I used to be like. I want it to be Toby.
    From where we stand, I can see Mum on the porch. Her hands shade her eyes as she looks into the low morning sun. For once I’m grateful to see her.
    â€˜I’ve got to go Toby, Mum’s looking for