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Authors: Mary McCarthy
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was tragic, which is why I thought maybe you guys should skip it.”
“I know,” said Lisa. “None of these historical books seem to be very understanding towards women who cheat. I actually think overall that Anna Karenina was meant to be a little more on the sympathetic side from Tolstoy’s perspective, especially for a man. But there is no doubt it is grim.”
“Very true,” Zarina said. “I know Maggie read it anyway, but Eva probably won’t. You ladies need to find some more uplifting adultery books, that’s for sure. Not there are many. Fear of Flying should help.”
Lisa took out her journal from the nearly-matching preppy Vera Bradley purse and began reading.
“The zipless fuck is absolutely pure. It is free of ulterior motives. There is no power game. The man is not “taking” and the woman is not “giving.” No one is attempting to cuckold a husband or humiliate a wife. No one is trying to prove anything or get anything out of anyone. The zipless fuck is the purest thing there is. And it is rarer than the unicorn. And I have never had one.”
“Yeah, Erica Jong doesn’t really mince words, does she?” Lisa continued, “She goes on to say that the zipless fuck happens because “when you came together, zippers fell away like rose petals, underwear blew off in one breath like dandelion fluff. For the true ultimate zipless A-1 fuck, it was necessary that you never got to know the man very well.”
“Do you agree with her?” Zarina asked.
“It’s really complex, but truly so simple,” said Lisa. “It makes sense that if you had an affair, you would want it to happen in an almost innocent way—not out of spite or anger, but just because two people have come together in a moment in time and had a true connection.”
“And they just happened to be married to other people,” Zarina said.
Lisa seemed to blush. “Yeah, I mean, that’s the catch, right?” said Lisa. “The guilt. If you love your spouse, no matter how imperfect they are, you’re still going to feel bad having a relationship with someone else, whether it is a one night stand or a deeper friendship that just morphs into an affair.”
Zarina didn’t want to pry. Lisa really seemed like she was puzzling this out. It seemed she gave a lot more thought to this stuff than Maggie or Eva, which was probably one reason she didn’t open up more around them.
“So have you ever,” Zarina asked her, “had a zipless fuck?”
“I guess Jong says they’re rarer than a unicorn for a reason,” said Lisa, “but yeah, one time in college—isn’t that where most zipless fucks happen, right?—I had sex on a boat with a guy whose name I couldn’t even tell you today.”
Zarina laughed.
“Are you serious? A boat, huh?”
“Yep. I went to culinary school outside DC, but one time we went to a conference in Annapolis,” said Lisa. “Our hotel was right on the water at the harbor. I ended up meeting this guy at the bar, and his boat was docked right in front. We went for a ride, and then, well, and then we went for a ride! Sex on a boat was amazing. You can feel the whole boat rocking with the motion of your …”
She couldn’t even finish the sentence. She looked up like a kid caught red-handed in a candy store.
Zarina smiled at her. “It’s totally cool,” Zarina said, pulling her long black hair into a ponytail. Whew! Who knew how hot this coffee chat would be? I mean, it sounds fantastic.”
“It was before I was married,” said Lisa.
“And did you end up marrying a guy with a boat?” Zarina asked her jokingly.Lisa’s face relaxed. “Nope. But that probably would have been a really brilliant idea! So what about you, young lady? You’re probably too young to ask about such escapades.”
“Oh come on, I’m officially old enough to drink legally,” Zarina responded. “And I’m certainly not going to be a blushing bride, if I’m ever a bride! Heck yes, I had my college cliché zipless fuck. It was with a
“I know,” said Lisa. “None of these historical books seem to be very understanding towards women who cheat. I actually think overall that Anna Karenina was meant to be a little more on the sympathetic side from Tolstoy’s perspective, especially for a man. But there is no doubt it is grim.”
“Very true,” Zarina said. “I know Maggie read it anyway, but Eva probably won’t. You ladies need to find some more uplifting adultery books, that’s for sure. Not there are many. Fear of Flying should help.”
Lisa took out her journal from the nearly-matching preppy Vera Bradley purse and began reading.
“The zipless fuck is absolutely pure. It is free of ulterior motives. There is no power game. The man is not “taking” and the woman is not “giving.” No one is attempting to cuckold a husband or humiliate a wife. No one is trying to prove anything or get anything out of anyone. The zipless fuck is the purest thing there is. And it is rarer than the unicorn. And I have never had one.”
“Yeah, Erica Jong doesn’t really mince words, does she?” Lisa continued, “She goes on to say that the zipless fuck happens because “when you came together, zippers fell away like rose petals, underwear blew off in one breath like dandelion fluff. For the true ultimate zipless A-1 fuck, it was necessary that you never got to know the man very well.”
“Do you agree with her?” Zarina asked.
“It’s really complex, but truly so simple,” said Lisa. “It makes sense that if you had an affair, you would want it to happen in an almost innocent way—not out of spite or anger, but just because two people have come together in a moment in time and had a true connection.”
“And they just happened to be married to other people,” Zarina said.
Lisa seemed to blush. “Yeah, I mean, that’s the catch, right?” said Lisa. “The guilt. If you love your spouse, no matter how imperfect they are, you’re still going to feel bad having a relationship with someone else, whether it is a one night stand or a deeper friendship that just morphs into an affair.”
Zarina didn’t want to pry. Lisa really seemed like she was puzzling this out. It seemed she gave a lot more thought to this stuff than Maggie or Eva, which was probably one reason she didn’t open up more around them.
“So have you ever,” Zarina asked her, “had a zipless fuck?”
“I guess Jong says they’re rarer than a unicorn for a reason,” said Lisa, “but yeah, one time in college—isn’t that where most zipless fucks happen, right?—I had sex on a boat with a guy whose name I couldn’t even tell you today.”
Zarina laughed.
“Are you serious? A boat, huh?”
“Yep. I went to culinary school outside DC, but one time we went to a conference in Annapolis,” said Lisa. “Our hotel was right on the water at the harbor. I ended up meeting this guy at the bar, and his boat was docked right in front. We went for a ride, and then, well, and then we went for a ride! Sex on a boat was amazing. You can feel the whole boat rocking with the motion of your …”
She couldn’t even finish the sentence. She looked up like a kid caught red-handed in a candy store.
Zarina smiled at her. “It’s totally cool,” Zarina said, pulling her long black hair into a ponytail. Whew! Who knew how hot this coffee chat would be? I mean, it sounds fantastic.”
“It was before I was married,” said Lisa.
“And did you end up marrying a guy with a boat?” Zarina asked her jokingly.Lisa’s face relaxed. “Nope. But that probably would have been a really brilliant idea! So what about you, young lady? You’re probably too young to ask about such escapades.”
“Oh come on, I’m officially old enough to drink legally,” Zarina responded. “And I’m certainly not going to be a blushing bride, if I’m ever a bride! Heck yes, I had my college cliché zipless fuck. It was with a
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