The Royal Mess

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Authors: MaryJanice Davidson
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from a commoner to first in line for the throne, set to inherit one of the world’s largest fortunes?”
    â€œNope.”
    â€œI figured.” The redhead looked around the suite of rooms. “Is this gonna be yours, then?”
    â€œGuess so.”
    â€œA taciturn girl, I like that. The others can be a bit of a handful.”
    â€œNot me. I’m a pussycat.”
    â€œYeah, and I’m an amoeba.”
    Holly pushed past Nicole—a relief from bowing and “Your Highness” this and “Your Highness” that. Nicole pegged her accent as deep South United States, Texas or Georgia or someplace like that.
    Holly peered out the five-foot-high windows. “Hmmm. It looks like we’re three stories up, but the south pavilion roof is right down there, ain’t it? And from there it’s not much of a drop for a tall girl like you.”
    Nicole raised her eyebrows. Holly “rhymes with dragon” was a quick one. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
    â€œMy big ole Texan butt you hadn’t.” She slapped herself on the flank. “Ain’t it great?”
    â€œUh . . . it’s very nice.”
    â€œBut if I had to make that drop, I’d mess up my fabulous underwear. Heights give me the creeps. But not you, I bet.”
    â€œI once followed a bear over a cliff.”
    â€œI’m making a memo to me to follow up with you on that story. But why?”
    â€œWell, I shot him but didn’t kill him, so I was morally obligated to—”
    â€œNo, no. Why this suite, why the setup so you can slip off the grounds? You’re not a prisoner, like Rapunzel in her tower.”
    â€œI like to come and go as I like. Do you have any idea how long it takes just to arrange to go into town for, I dunno, a cup of coffee?”
    â€œI got an idea.”
    â€œFirst you gotta tell Edmund. Then he tells your security detail. Then they waste tons of time getting organized. Then, an hour or two later, finally, you can leave. Except you’re not alone, of course. And with all the bodyguards and royal cars and all, everybody stares. And you can’t pay for anything; the store owner comes out and practically genuflects. Then, finally, you come back to the gilded cage.”
    â€œProb’ly easier to stay in and have someone bring you a cuppa joe.”
    â€œThat’s not the point. The point is, I used to be able to come and go as I please, and now I can’t.” She resisted the urge to kick something. “Rapunzel’s got nothing on me.”
    â€œPoor baby,” the Dragon yawned. “How do you find the strength to go on?”
    â€œNow you’re just messing with me.”
    The Dragon turned and beamed at her. “It’s what I do, darlin’. Excuse me: Princess Darlin’. So if you don’t mind my asking, what’s next for you?”
    â€œPrincess lessons, I guess. Maybe smashing champagne bottles on a few cruise ships.”
    â€œWell, there’s worse royal families to end up in, you ask me.”
    â€œThat’s hard to imagine.”
    â€œHa! Honey, I’m a history major and a writer. Know what that makes me? The biggest snoop you ever met.”
    â€œWith a wonderful ass.”
    â€œWell, yeah. And historically speaking, most princesses were ugly and dumb from all the inbreeding.”
    â€œWhat a lovely thought,” she said, appalled.
    â€œHistory ain’t lovely, honey. At least in this country, they don’t much care if you marry one a’ the hoi polloi .”
    â€œI have noticed they’re all ridiculously goodlooking,” she admitted. “Guess it pays not to keep marrying your cousin.”
    â€œCheck your mirror sometime, honey, speaking of ridiculous.”
    â€œWell, biggest snoop I ever met, expert on the royal family, I have to admit I’m curious about something.”
    â€œShoot, darlin’.”
    â€œWhat’s your theory about

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