sixty inch TV hung from the wall opposite my bed, which was draped in beige and cream comforter and sheets. Standing I padded into the connecting bathroom. Sea green accents adorned the walls, candles everywhere in fresh scents of cotton and jasmine. There was a Jacuzzi bath tub and a private shower. I knew from the virtual tour I had taken online that this was the master bedroom and bath because it was the only one wit h a Jacuzzi and wondered if the guys had put me in here because of that luxury. If so I hated to tell them that I couldn’t use the Jacuzzi because I was pregnant. But that they had been so thoughtful warmed my heart. Smiling I used the bathroom then took a quick shower. My stomach was grumbling for food for once and I had this crazy craving for bacon and cheese grits. Downstairs I found the go urmet kitchen with its beautiful granite counter tops and the stainless steel appliances. As requested the fridge and pantry were well stocked with food and soft drinks. But I couldn’t find any bacon or grits anywhere. I hadn’t requested those items, hadn’t even had grits since I was a little girl. My stomach growled and I sighed. Nothing else sounded appealing. I didn’t know if I could bring myself to eat anything if I couldn’t have my bacon and cheese grits. Pulling out a Sprite I opened the bottle and took a small sip. “Morning, Em.” Shane came in through the sliding doors that lead outside. He was covered in sweat having just finished a run on the beach. “How are you feeling?” He asked as he opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. “I’m hungry.” I told him with a small pout. “That’s good news.” He dropped down onto a chair at the kitchen table. “Can you fix me something too?” “We don’t have any grits.” There was a wobble in my voice and crazily enough a tear escaped my left eye. I was going to cry over not getting grits? What the hell! Shane, seeing my tears was quick to soothe me. He took my hands and gave them a little squeeze. “So make something else, sweetheart.” I shook my head. “I want grits.” I whispered. “I guess it’s some crazy pregnancy craving because I don’t think I could eat anything else. I want bacon and cheese grits…Just like my mom would make when she was actually sober.” My chest hurt just thinking about my mom , causing some deep seated pain to come loose and I started sobbing. Poor Shane was at a loss. I heard footsteps rushing into the kitchen. Jesse’s angry voice demanded to know what was going on and then his strong arms wrap ped around me. “Em? What’s wrong honey?” But I couldn’t answer him so I just buried my face in his neck and continued to sob. I hadn’t cried for my mom when she had died. At the time I had been so relieved. She was a monster of the worst kind. I was subjected to beatings on a regular basis. Growing up in a trailer were there were always half empty liquor bottles laying around with crack pipes and heroin needles, it was a wonder that I had turned out half normal. “She wants some grits.” I heard Shane telling Jesse. “With bacon and cheese like her mom used to make.” “Well go get her some damned grits and bacon, Shane!” Jesse yelled, exasperated. He lifted me and then sat and put me on his lap. I heard Shane scrambling around then slamming the back door as he raced out. “Emmie, it’s okay. We will get you your grits, sweetheart.” He was rocking me now, his voice the one he used for hurt little things. I shook my head. “It won’t be the same. It won’t taste the same. She made it so good. I loved those grits. They were my favorite.” “Oh, Emmie.” He blew out a frustrated sigh. “Honey, she was barely coherent ninety five percent of the time. Why are you even thinking about her now?” “I don’t know.” I sobbed harder. “She was evil and I shouldn’t let her invade my mind. But…she was my mom, Jesse.” My nose was running and without thinking