she saw it far ahead, a settlement. Her mind jumped with excitement. She made tea and ate while she thought it over.
I must buy barley and butter .
It’s too risky .
What’s riskier than starving?
I’m so afraid .
The first time she woke up she knew. I will go into that town and buy food . Sleep more, meditate, eat again, and then go in. In the late afternoon, if I have to flee, I will be closer to the darkness. Mahakala, lend me your strength .
“ Help you?” said the fat woman behind the counter of Coleman’s Mercantile.
Sun Moon felt a thrill of fear. The woman’s voice sounded suspicious. Will they arrest me? The woman hadn’t addressed her as “Sir.” Was that because the woman saw through her disguise? Or because Asians didn’t deserve respect?
She lowered her voice as much as she could. “Barley, please, ten pounds.”
The woman nodded curtly.
Sun Moon knew the words from clerking. “And butter.”
The woman looked at her queerly. Barley and butter? But she didn’t ask that. “How many pounds?”
Sun Moon held up one finger, not wanting to risk her feminine voice again. She held out the sack she stole from Tarim’s store to put the barley in. The woman weighed it in the scales.
“Please take your finger off the scale.”
“Yes, Sir! ” said the clerk sarcastically.
Sun Moon almost giggled with pleasure. She avoided looking the woman in the eye, though—she could feel the anger. She wondered whether the woman routinely cheated most customers, or only strangers, or only yellow, red, brown, and black people. Tarim cheated everyone, and his methods were more subtle than pulling at the scale with a finger.
The clerk didn’t try it again with the butter.
She paid with her ten-dollar gold piece. When the woman hesitated, Sun Moon said softly, “Five dollars and fourteen bits.”
Suddenly she realized she was speaking in a high voice. She lowered it dramatically. “Please.”
The clerk looked off into a corner irritably as she handed over the change.
Provisions on her back, Sun Moon went tentatively to the front door. Through the glass she could see intense sunlight outside. For the moment she liked the shadows inside the store, which protected her like the night. But the woman may challenge me or turn me in at any moment .
Touching her altar box lightly, she threw the door open and stepped through.
“ A-mo! ” she rasped. Oh no!
She stepped back so fast she almost fell over her own feet.
The sheriff . Sheriff Conlan of Hard Rock City was walking his mount down the middle of the street, leading a pack horse. The droop of his long mustache gave his mouth a cruel look, and his eyes looked slightly amused. He would look amused, she thought, when he hanged people.
Did he see me?
Sun Moon looked around for an escape. All she saw was the clerk glaring at her with suspicion. No help .
She looked back outside. Conlan was riding on. Past the livery, past the land office, past the hotel. Wait . He turned his horse to the rail in front of the jail, dismounted, and went in.
Did he see me? Her knees shook. She twisted the altar box on its thong.
No Asian people in the street. I am a white yak in a herd of black yaks .
Feeling like she was stepping off a cliff, she opened the door and strode onto the boardwalk. Mahakala, help me, teach me, protect me .
No shouts, no steps, no hoofbeats.
She turned into the alley at the side of the mercantile. Out of sight .
She walked fast to the end of the alley, followed a rail fence toward the other end of town, looked around to make sure she wasn’t seen, climbed over the rails, and ran into the sagebrush.
Then it struck her. Sheriff Conlan was going the wrong way . He had been riding through the main street south to north, not north to south. He’s given up. He’s going back .
No, she told herself. Maybe he’s just riding around today, or justcoming back a little . But she didn’t think so. He and his horse looked like they’d put in a
I must buy barley and butter .
It’s too risky .
What’s riskier than starving?
I’m so afraid .
The first time she woke up she knew. I will go into that town and buy food . Sleep more, meditate, eat again, and then go in. In the late afternoon, if I have to flee, I will be closer to the darkness. Mahakala, lend me your strength .
“ Help you?” said the fat woman behind the counter of Coleman’s Mercantile.
Sun Moon felt a thrill of fear. The woman’s voice sounded suspicious. Will they arrest me? The woman hadn’t addressed her as “Sir.” Was that because the woman saw through her disguise? Or because Asians didn’t deserve respect?
She lowered her voice as much as she could. “Barley, please, ten pounds.”
The woman nodded curtly.
Sun Moon knew the words from clerking. “And butter.”
The woman looked at her queerly. Barley and butter? But she didn’t ask that. “How many pounds?”
Sun Moon held up one finger, not wanting to risk her feminine voice again. She held out the sack she stole from Tarim’s store to put the barley in. The woman weighed it in the scales.
“Please take your finger off the scale.”
“Yes, Sir! ” said the clerk sarcastically.
Sun Moon almost giggled with pleasure. She avoided looking the woman in the eye, though—she could feel the anger. She wondered whether the woman routinely cheated most customers, or only strangers, or only yellow, red, brown, and black people. Tarim cheated everyone, and his methods were more subtle than pulling at the scale with a finger.
The clerk didn’t try it again with the butter.
She paid with her ten-dollar gold piece. When the woman hesitated, Sun Moon said softly, “Five dollars and fourteen bits.”
Suddenly she realized she was speaking in a high voice. She lowered it dramatically. “Please.”
The clerk looked off into a corner irritably as she handed over the change.
Provisions on her back, Sun Moon went tentatively to the front door. Through the glass she could see intense sunlight outside. For the moment she liked the shadows inside the store, which protected her like the night. But the woman may challenge me or turn me in at any moment .
Touching her altar box lightly, she threw the door open and stepped through.
“ A-mo! ” she rasped. Oh no!
She stepped back so fast she almost fell over her own feet.
The sheriff . Sheriff Conlan of Hard Rock City was walking his mount down the middle of the street, leading a pack horse. The droop of his long mustache gave his mouth a cruel look, and his eyes looked slightly amused. He would look amused, she thought, when he hanged people.
Did he see me?
Sun Moon looked around for an escape. All she saw was the clerk glaring at her with suspicion. No help .
She looked back outside. Conlan was riding on. Past the livery, past the land office, past the hotel. Wait . He turned his horse to the rail in front of the jail, dismounted, and went in.
Did he see me? Her knees shook. She twisted the altar box on its thong.
No Asian people in the street. I am a white yak in a herd of black yaks .
Feeling like she was stepping off a cliff, she opened the door and strode onto the boardwalk. Mahakala, help me, teach me, protect me .
No shouts, no steps, no hoofbeats.
She turned into the alley at the side of the mercantile. Out of sight .
She walked fast to the end of the alley, followed a rail fence toward the other end of town, looked around to make sure she wasn’t seen, climbed over the rails, and ran into the sagebrush.
Then it struck her. Sheriff Conlan was going the wrong way . He had been riding through the main street south to north, not north to south. He’s given up. He’s going back .
No, she told herself. Maybe he’s just riding around today, or justcoming back a little . But she didn’t think so. He and his horse looked like they’d put in a
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