have to kill him too, and that could become a problem.
My son had given details about a previous life that he couldn’t have gleaned from watching TV. Barney a few years ago, then Blues Clues, and now PlayStation. There was no way he could know about churning butter, poverty and a one-building school house. It didn’t stop there; he gave details. The kind of details anyone would have of their past, except that Jacob had grown up with us in Barrie. It had become too close to what was really happening. I knew he was too young to possess the truth, yet he caused me to wonder.
Jacob had said just last week that if we drove to Novar, he would direct us to where he used to live. He would even show us the tree where he carved his name and the year he was born: 1931. He said that if we went this week he had a surprise for us, one that I would be happy to learn. The mystery was enough for John and me to say we’d go, even though this was exactly why we were all here this time around. I should’ve known then: Jacob was well aware of my plans, our plans.
I wore a yellow, flowery dress, one of my favorites. I had wanted something bright, calming and happy. I was prepared for a revelation of some kind, Jacob’s mystery surprise, and a disgruntled husband. My human nerves were rattled.
“Ten kilometers left,” John said.
I looked back and saw Jacob waking. He pushed himself up and glanced out the window as he rubbed his eyes.
“Hi baby, how’re you feeling?” I asked.
“Okay, I guess.”
“Are you worried about coming here?”
“No, I miss being here. We had great times when I was little.”
We? What the hell did that mean?
“You still are little, Jacob. There are lots of great times to come,” I said. If he only knew .
He looked at me. “Can you call me Mark for today? At least while we’re in Novar?”
I stole a glance at John. He nodded and I looked back at our son. I forced my teeth apart to say, “We can do that. But just for today.”
John put the turn signal on to exit the highway and I was immediately hit with déjà vu. I shook my head and came back to the present. John mumbled something beside me.
“What?” I asked him.
“Are you okay? You slumped down in your seat and paled, like you were frightened.”
“I’m fine,” I stuttered. “I just thought for a second that I recognized this place.”
What was it about Novar? Real fear entered my being. Strange. An odd feeling.
“That’s ridiculous. We’ve never set foot in this town,” John said.
He gave me a look that shouted, Don’t start talking like Jacob .
Jacob directed his dad down a number of streets while I gawked at the familiar terrain. Why did I feel I’d been here before? This was crazy; we were in Novar for Jacob and our mission and I was starting to feel like I’d been here before too. If I had, I would’ve known about it. Odd.
“Where are you taking us, Mark?” I asked, feeling as awkward as always when using that name.
“To where I used to live. I think you’ll recognize it, Mom.”
What the hell? How could he say that? Better yet, why would he say that? He’s not old enough to know who or what I am. Information like that can only be acquired at death.
I looked down at my lap to avoid seeing the passing buildings. My leg was bouncing up and down, my hands shaking even though I clamped them together on my lap.
“Why do you think I should recognize Novar?” I asked him. I heard my voice crack. Even John looked over at me. And the play continues. Damn, am I good at this shit.
“Because you were my mom in 1931. We lived here until our house burned down in the great fire.”
I turned around in my seat and gaped at Jacob. What could I say? It was the first time he had said that his delusions of another life included me. In this incarnation, he isn’t supposed to know why he’s here, and yet he
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