still have won were it not for his own arrogance, and that of the king’s son, the Lord Edward.
The Holy Roman Emperor once sent Henry III three leopards as a gift, and he kept them in the Tower of London, where they lived with an elephant, polar bear and a presumably rather nervous porcupine (this was the first such royal menagerie to be open to the public, the entrance fee being a dog or cat, for the lion to eat). xix As a result of these famous royal guests, Edward became known as the leopard, after the then-common belief that it could change its spots. For Edward would side with whoever was winning, then stab them in the back and twist the knife.
He once raised the money to pay for the Crown’s affairs by pulling off an armed robbery at the Templars’ bank, where the queen had pawned her jewellery. On another occasion Edward had breakfast negotiations with William de Clare, one of the rebels, with an offer of a compromise. The next day de Clare woke up with severe stomach pains and died, while his brother, the Earl of Gloucester, lost all his hair, fingernails and toenails. As well as poisoning his enemies, Edward had also infiltrated the enemy camp with spies, including a female transvestite called Margoth.
After the king had briefly held the upper hand when he kidnapped de Montfort’s son, the tables were turned when Henry and Edward were captured. But the prince escaped from his imprisonment by asking his jailors whether he could try out the horses in the yard, before riding off on one. He then negotiated the king’s release; Henry went away for recuperation in Gloucester castle, where he restored altar-plates.
In 1265 the two sides met at Evesham. Once again Lord Edward showed the sort of ruthlessness and cunning that would mark his life: he and his troops turned up in the enemy’s fatigues, surrounding their outnumbered foes before revealing their true colours. De Montfort was killed in the battle, along with his two eldest sons, and afterwards 30 of his knights were executed on the spot. Edward had his uncle’s testicles cut off and hung around his nose, his body cut up into four pieces and sent around the country, and his head delivered to a noblewoman who had helped him escape from de Montfort’s imprisonment, as a thank you.
Although there was occasional unrest, including from outlaws called the ‘Disinherited’, and the Sheriff of Essex was accused of having plotted to release flying cockerels carrying incendiary bombs over London during 1267, xx the royal family had pacified the country. The king and his son in any case gave the rebels most of what they wanted, and in 1275 the new king signed the Statute of Westminster formalising Parliament, and for the first time commoners – knights and burgesses (city men) – were allowed into the Privy Council, the king’s inner circle of advisers that was a sort of forerunner to the Cabinet.
Henry spent his remaining years going slowly senile, until his death in 1272.
Winter is coming
The Cousins' War, as the War of the Roses was known at the time, xxi had its origins in the third king Edward, who along with his grandfather, Edward the First, epitomized the medieval warrior ethos, and who most strongly resembles Tywin Lannister – a man prepared to do what is necessary.
The first Edward, standing at 6’3”, was a commanding, terrifying figure nicknamed ‘Longshanks’ and ‘the Hammer of the Scots’.
Edward I had a slight lisp and his left eyelid drooped like that of his father, Henry III, but was totally unlike him in temperament. The dean of St Paul’s died on the spot when he went to complain about taxation; the Archbishop of York, being told off by the king, sunk into depression and expired. Like his ancestor William two centuries earlier, his ferocity to his enemies was matched by his tender love for wife Eleanor of Castile, with whom he was betrothed when he was 15 and she just nine. They had 16 children. The king would outlive 12 of
The Holy Roman Emperor once sent Henry III three leopards as a gift, and he kept them in the Tower of London, where they lived with an elephant, polar bear and a presumably rather nervous porcupine (this was the first such royal menagerie to be open to the public, the entrance fee being a dog or cat, for the lion to eat). xix As a result of these famous royal guests, Edward became known as the leopard, after the then-common belief that it could change its spots. For Edward would side with whoever was winning, then stab them in the back and twist the knife.
He once raised the money to pay for the Crown’s affairs by pulling off an armed robbery at the Templars’ bank, where the queen had pawned her jewellery. On another occasion Edward had breakfast negotiations with William de Clare, one of the rebels, with an offer of a compromise. The next day de Clare woke up with severe stomach pains and died, while his brother, the Earl of Gloucester, lost all his hair, fingernails and toenails. As well as poisoning his enemies, Edward had also infiltrated the enemy camp with spies, including a female transvestite called Margoth.
After the king had briefly held the upper hand when he kidnapped de Montfort’s son, the tables were turned when Henry and Edward were captured. But the prince escaped from his imprisonment by asking his jailors whether he could try out the horses in the yard, before riding off on one. He then negotiated the king’s release; Henry went away for recuperation in Gloucester castle, where he restored altar-plates.
In 1265 the two sides met at Evesham. Once again Lord Edward showed the sort of ruthlessness and cunning that would mark his life: he and his troops turned up in the enemy’s fatigues, surrounding their outnumbered foes before revealing their true colours. De Montfort was killed in the battle, along with his two eldest sons, and afterwards 30 of his knights were executed on the spot. Edward had his uncle’s testicles cut off and hung around his nose, his body cut up into four pieces and sent around the country, and his head delivered to a noblewoman who had helped him escape from de Montfort’s imprisonment, as a thank you.
Although there was occasional unrest, including from outlaws called the ‘Disinherited’, and the Sheriff of Essex was accused of having plotted to release flying cockerels carrying incendiary bombs over London during 1267, xx the royal family had pacified the country. The king and his son in any case gave the rebels most of what they wanted, and in 1275 the new king signed the Statute of Westminster formalising Parliament, and for the first time commoners – knights and burgesses (city men) – were allowed into the Privy Council, the king’s inner circle of advisers that was a sort of forerunner to the Cabinet.
Henry spent his remaining years going slowly senile, until his death in 1272.
Winter is coming
The Cousins' War, as the War of the Roses was known at the time, xxi had its origins in the third king Edward, who along with his grandfather, Edward the First, epitomized the medieval warrior ethos, and who most strongly resembles Tywin Lannister – a man prepared to do what is necessary.
The first Edward, standing at 6’3”, was a commanding, terrifying figure nicknamed ‘Longshanks’ and ‘the Hammer of the Scots’.
Edward I had a slight lisp and his left eyelid drooped like that of his father, Henry III, but was totally unlike him in temperament. The dean of St Paul’s died on the spot when he went to complain about taxation; the Archbishop of York, being told off by the king, sunk into depression and expired. Like his ancestor William two centuries earlier, his ferocity to his enemies was matched by his tender love for wife Eleanor of Castile, with whom he was betrothed when he was 15 and she just nine. They had 16 children. The king would outlive 12 of
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