out. ‘Yes, my girl, I’m afraid you do. You can’t hide from the world.’ He felt himself choke up, so he coughed. ‘Now, now, look at this. You’ve got mine dirt all over your pyjamas.’ Maybe she wasn’t angry, just sad. He didn’t know.
‘I don’t
care
about my pyjamas. Why did she leave us, Dad? What did we do wrong?’
He looked her in the eyes. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong, Jessie. It was me. It was between me and your mother.’
Jessica nodded and looked down.
They’d been through this, or variations of it, countless times over the past two months since Tania had left. He knew it was tough on Jessica – dammit, he knew only too well how tough it was – but he had to lead by example, show her that she had to keep on getting on with life and couldn’t wallow.
He drew her into him and held her tight. He couldn’t imagine life without her, which was why he found it so hard to understand what Tania had done. He had seen a few marriages and relationships on the mine break up – plenty in fact. Usually, but not always, it was the man screwing around with some young
poppie
, or some other
oke’s
wife. Or sometimes a miner’s lonely wife or girlfriend looking for some action with someone from a different shift. It took two to tango, so they said, but normally the woman took the children in a split. Plenty of other men only saw their kids every second weekend, but Tania wouldn’t even get that – she was in bloody America.
America.
It was almost inconceivable, but it had happened. Tania’s timing, of course, had been impeccably terrible – he really didn’t need to be dealing with all of this now, not with Loubser missing and the families in mourning and the unions clamouring for his head.
‘Dad?’
He said nothing. He eyeballed the laptop, as though it was a murder weapon. It was small. An inconsequential jumble of processors and plastic and cheap components soldered and stuck together in some Asian sweatshop. They’d paid a small fortune for it three years ago and now it was probably worthless: obsolete, slow to process data, memory too full. Just like him.
To think such a small item could have been the cause of all of these problems. That it led to Tania getting on an aeroplane – the ticket paid for by that man – and flying away from her husband and her only daughter.
‘I need more,’ was all she’d said to him.
He felt Jess tug at his arms and he released her from his hold. ‘Okay, Dad … I’ll go to school.’
She was being reasonable and mature. It made him proud.
‘That’s the way, my girl.’ He attempted a smile. ‘It’s probably about time we got a new one of those, eh?’ He gestured towards the laptop.
She smiled up at him. ‘It’s a
vrot
old one. I wish she’d taken it with her when she left.’
He ran a hand through his hair, felt the grit from the mine. He needed to shower and change. Bloody Kylie Hamilton was arriving on the Seagull express in a few hours. ‘I have to go to Nelspruit today to pick up someone from the airport. Things are a bit busy at work.’
‘I know.’ She laid a hand on his arm. ‘I saw the news.’
He put his arm around her.
She looked up at him again. She was growing up so quickly, but she would always be his little girl. ‘Dad?’
‘Yes?’
‘Even if we fight, like me and mum did,’ she cuffed away a tear, ‘please don’t leave, OK?’
He squeezed her shoulder. ‘Never, kiddo. Never.’
He led her to the doorway and watched as she disappeared up the corridor towards her room. He circled back to the desk and felt suddenly very angry. He brought a huge fist down onto the laptopand then swept it roughly across the desk, sending it crashing to the floor. He kicked it once, for good measure.
He looked up to see Petty in the doorway, looking at him apprehensively. She looked down at the computer on the floor. ‘
Eish
, can we fix it, boss?’
He shook his head. It wasn’t the computer’s fault his wife had left
‘I don’t
care
about my pyjamas. Why did she leave us, Dad? What did we do wrong?’
He looked her in the eyes. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong, Jessie. It was me. It was between me and your mother.’
Jessica nodded and looked down.
They’d been through this, or variations of it, countless times over the past two months since Tania had left. He knew it was tough on Jessica – dammit, he knew only too well how tough it was – but he had to lead by example, show her that she had to keep on getting on with life and couldn’t wallow.
He drew her into him and held her tight. He couldn’t imagine life without her, which was why he found it so hard to understand what Tania had done. He had seen a few marriages and relationships on the mine break up – plenty in fact. Usually, but not always, it was the man screwing around with some young
poppie
, or some other
oke’s
wife. Or sometimes a miner’s lonely wife or girlfriend looking for some action with someone from a different shift. It took two to tango, so they said, but normally the woman took the children in a split. Plenty of other men only saw their kids every second weekend, but Tania wouldn’t even get that – she was in bloody America.
America.
It was almost inconceivable, but it had happened. Tania’s timing, of course, had been impeccably terrible – he really didn’t need to be dealing with all of this now, not with Loubser missing and the families in mourning and the unions clamouring for his head.
‘Dad?’
He said nothing. He eyeballed the laptop, as though it was a murder weapon. It was small. An inconsequential jumble of processors and plastic and cheap components soldered and stuck together in some Asian sweatshop. They’d paid a small fortune for it three years ago and now it was probably worthless: obsolete, slow to process data, memory too full. Just like him.
To think such a small item could have been the cause of all of these problems. That it led to Tania getting on an aeroplane – the ticket paid for by that man – and flying away from her husband and her only daughter.
‘I need more,’ was all she’d said to him.
He felt Jess tug at his arms and he released her from his hold. ‘Okay, Dad … I’ll go to school.’
She was being reasonable and mature. It made him proud.
‘That’s the way, my girl.’ He attempted a smile. ‘It’s probably about time we got a new one of those, eh?’ He gestured towards the laptop.
She smiled up at him. ‘It’s a
vrot
old one. I wish she’d taken it with her when she left.’
He ran a hand through his hair, felt the grit from the mine. He needed to shower and change. Bloody Kylie Hamilton was arriving on the Seagull express in a few hours. ‘I have to go to Nelspruit today to pick up someone from the airport. Things are a bit busy at work.’
‘I know.’ She laid a hand on his arm. ‘I saw the news.’
He put his arm around her.
She looked up at him again. She was growing up so quickly, but she would always be his little girl. ‘Dad?’
‘Yes?’
‘Even if we fight, like me and mum did,’ she cuffed away a tear, ‘please don’t leave, OK?’
He squeezed her shoulder. ‘Never, kiddo. Never.’
He led her to the doorway and watched as she disappeared up the corridor towards her room. He circled back to the desk and felt suddenly very angry. He brought a huge fist down onto the laptopand then swept it roughly across the desk, sending it crashing to the floor. He kicked it once, for good measure.
He looked up to see Petty in the doorway, looking at him apprehensively. She looked down at the computer on the floor. ‘
Eish
, can we fix it, boss?’
He shook his head. It wasn’t the computer’s fault his wife had left
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