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the bar talking to a guy.  I shift my stance to switch more of my weight onto my other leg.  When I wore these shoes I wasn’t planning on standing as much as I have been. 
    I’m sure Reed is waiting and hoping that I will open up and talk to him, but I don’t think I can do it.  If we talk I know I’ll have to address and admit to him what happened last semester.  Even though deep down I know he deserves that I don’t know if I can get myself there again. 
    “I’m going to go,” I finally say.
    “Can we talk?” He hasn’t lost his confident tone even as he asks me this.
    “I don’t think I can,” I say as I push myself from the wall.
    “Okay, then I’ll walk you out and back to your dorm.”
     
     

C HAPTER 7

    After I say goodbye to everyone, including Maggie and Brandon who can’t keep their hands and tongues off each other, we head out of the bar.  Quinn and Matt are seated at the bar with smirks of satisfaction on their faces as we walk out. 
    The air is cool, but I no longer need to wear my big puffy coat.  However, I usually always bring my favorite gloves with me still.  I didn’t tonight because they wouldn’t fit in my pockets of my gray pea coat.  The night air is still and it’s a nice change from the wind that usually whips around on campus.  Still, I shove my hands in my pockets, if nothing for to have somewhere to put them.  Reed does the same.  We walk in silence, but every so often he glances my way.  I don’t dare look at him.  Desperately, I try to silence the thoughts in my head.  It’s almost impossible though.  Thoughts of that first time he walked with me back to my dorm room and then what happened when we got inside flood my mind…
    I remember exactly how it felt when his left hand moved slowly up my left arm to where his right was holding my wrists and he switched his hold. His right hand moved down the length of my right arm to my hip. He began to pull up the hem on my short sundress and moved his hand under and over my right hip. God, I remember the relief I felt that I did not wear my traditional comfortable cotton bikini style underwear and instead wore my silky boy shorts with the lace trim.
    I press my eyes closed tightly for a moment to stop myself from thinking about that night. That night changed everything. It brought us out of just friendship and flirting. It brought us into something more; the feelings we felt became more complex. I quickly shift my eyes over to Reed and he turns his head to face me, but I won’t allow myself to keep focus on him. I bury my head into the neck of my coat and try to keep my eyes down. We are getting closer to my dorm room and my mind betrays me again…
    I almost laugh when I think about how my nerves were so twisted because in my mind steps were being skipped.  He had yet to touch a breast and I remember thinking I probably wouldn’t allow it considering we were not even on a date.  Yet there his hand rested under my dress over my underwear and on my hip.  The way his breathing escalated just made me greedier.  I knew he was turned on as well because I could feel his hardness against my backside. 
    Then in barely a whisper I said all breathy, “Reed… I, I”
    He cut me off with his husky voice as he said, “I know I shouldn’t be here like this, but I can’t help myself. God, you shouldn’t be allowing me to get so close to you Kate.”
    “Why?” Then Before I allowed him to answer I made a decision. “I don’t care, I want this Reed.” The low sound that he made from the bottom of his throat had me squirming for contact.
    I suck in a deep breath.  Now, I know exactly why he was apprehensive.  I blink my eyes because tears have started to brim in my eyes.  It hurts me to think about how selfish and greedy I became in that instant.  I remember consciously making that decision to have him touch me more because I knew I could feel good and it would distract me further from the bigger issues I