Read Online The One Hundredth Thing About Caroline by Lois Lowry - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Lois Lowry
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the early morning light begin to appear through her window. She recognized, now that she was wide awake, who her protector had been. It was Coelophysis, her least favorite dinosaur, the one with bad posture and a bad temper. It was her brother, J.P.
Dressing slowly, even before her mother's newly repaired clock-radio alarm sounded wake-up time, Caroline thought about the dream. Maybe the nasty-tempered Coelophysis had a good side, after all. Maybe her brother did. Maybe she should tell him that a murderer lived upstairs.
But at breakfast, J.P., while slurping his orange juice with his usual gross manners, furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Caroline malevolently over the top of his glass.
"Why are you staring at me in that creepy way?" Caroline asked. It was unnerving.
J.P. gulped the last of his juice and put his glass down. He grinned. "Someday I'm going to invent a
pill that can turn eyeballs into lasers. Then you can incinerate someone just by staring at them."
"Why
me?
"
J.P. shrugged. "You're just a test case. A guinea pig."
"James," said his mother, "if you would divert your inventive energy into worthwhile projects, you could be very successful someday."
"Yeah," he replied. "I could be an only child, too, after the eyeball lasers are perfected."
Joanna Tate sighed in exasperation. "It would be
terrible
to be an only child. It would be
lonely.
"
"WRONG," said Caroline and J.P. in unison. They glared at each other with laser-beam glares.
"Listen," said their mother as she stacked the breakfast dishes, "I want you guys to promise me that you won't kill each other tomorrow night. I'm going out, so you'll be alone here. Alone
together.
"
"What do we get for dinner?" asked J.P. "And can I eat in my room?"
"TV dinners," said his mother. "The fried chicken ones. And yes, you may eat in your room if you
promise
not to leave garbage in there. I do
not
want to have to deal with cockroaches."
"If I perfected my laser eyeballs," mused J.P., picking up his schoolbooks, "I could be an exterminator. I could go around staring at cockroaches. Zap! Zap! Gotcha!" He moved his eyes in all directions, staring fixedly at imaginary cockroaches.
"Where are you going tomorrow night?" asked Caroline as she pulled on her sweater.
Her mother grinned. "I have a dinner date," she said. "First time in ages. He's taking me to an Italian restaurant."
"
Who's
taking you?" Caroline asked. But she knew. Somehow she knew the answer.
"Scoot, guys, you're going to be late for school. It's that nice-looking man who moved in upstairs. Fred Fiske."
I've got to tell someone, Caroline thought, all day during school. Someone. Not just Stacy. Stacy will just write headlines, KIDS' MOM DATES LONER , Stacy will say. woos MOM, SLAYS KIDS .
By afternoon it was all she could think about. In history class, she could hear Mr. Winslow droning on and on about the Phoeniciansâand ordinarily Caroline
liked
the Phoeniciansâbut she didn't listen to what he was saying. Who can I tell? she was thinking.
Then she remembered: Mr. Keretsky would be back by now. Gregor Keretsky was the only person she knew who would go to Europe and then come right back home, not even staying around to have dinner in restaurants or to visit castles. His conference in London, he had said, was only for one day. He would be back in his office at the Museum of Natural History by now. She would visit him there after school. She would tell
him everything, even how Frederick Fiske looked like a Tyrannosaurus. Gregor Keretsky would understand how sinister that was. She smiled and relaxed, looking up from her desk just in time to see Mr. Winslow peering over his glasses at her with an irritated frown.
"Caroline?" he was saying. "I don't think you've been listening to a single word. Can you tell the class, please, what the eastern and western boundaries of Phoenicia were?"
Caroline grinned. "The Mediterranean Sea on the west," she said. "And the Lebanon Mountains on the
Dressing slowly, even before her mother's newly repaired clock-radio alarm sounded wake-up time, Caroline thought about the dream. Maybe the nasty-tempered Coelophysis had a good side, after all. Maybe her brother did. Maybe she should tell him that a murderer lived upstairs.
But at breakfast, J.P., while slurping his orange juice with his usual gross manners, furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Caroline malevolently over the top of his glass.
"Why are you staring at me in that creepy way?" Caroline asked. It was unnerving.
J.P. gulped the last of his juice and put his glass down. He grinned. "Someday I'm going to invent a
pill that can turn eyeballs into lasers. Then you can incinerate someone just by staring at them."
"Why
me?
"
J.P. shrugged. "You're just a test case. A guinea pig."
"James," said his mother, "if you would divert your inventive energy into worthwhile projects, you could be very successful someday."
"Yeah," he replied. "I could be an only child, too, after the eyeball lasers are perfected."
Joanna Tate sighed in exasperation. "It would be
terrible
to be an only child. It would be
lonely.
"
"WRONG," said Caroline and J.P. in unison. They glared at each other with laser-beam glares.
"Listen," said their mother as she stacked the breakfast dishes, "I want you guys to promise me that you won't kill each other tomorrow night. I'm going out, so you'll be alone here. Alone
together.
"
"What do we get for dinner?" asked J.P. "And can I eat in my room?"
"TV dinners," said his mother. "The fried chicken ones. And yes, you may eat in your room if you
promise
not to leave garbage in there. I do
not
want to have to deal with cockroaches."
"If I perfected my laser eyeballs," mused J.P., picking up his schoolbooks, "I could be an exterminator. I could go around staring at cockroaches. Zap! Zap! Gotcha!" He moved his eyes in all directions, staring fixedly at imaginary cockroaches.
"Where are you going tomorrow night?" asked Caroline as she pulled on her sweater.
Her mother grinned. "I have a dinner date," she said. "First time in ages. He's taking me to an Italian restaurant."
"
Who's
taking you?" Caroline asked. But she knew. Somehow she knew the answer.
"Scoot, guys, you're going to be late for school. It's that nice-looking man who moved in upstairs. Fred Fiske."
I've got to tell someone, Caroline thought, all day during school. Someone. Not just Stacy. Stacy will just write headlines, KIDS' MOM DATES LONER , Stacy will say. woos MOM, SLAYS KIDS .
By afternoon it was all she could think about. In history class, she could hear Mr. Winslow droning on and on about the Phoeniciansâand ordinarily Caroline
liked
the Phoeniciansâbut she didn't listen to what he was saying. Who can I tell? she was thinking.
Then she remembered: Mr. Keretsky would be back by now. Gregor Keretsky was the only person she knew who would go to Europe and then come right back home, not even staying around to have dinner in restaurants or to visit castles. His conference in London, he had said, was only for one day. He would be back in his office at the Museum of Natural History by now. She would visit him there after school. She would tell
him everything, even how Frederick Fiske looked like a Tyrannosaurus. Gregor Keretsky would understand how sinister that was. She smiled and relaxed, looking up from her desk just in time to see Mr. Winslow peering over his glasses at her with an irritated frown.
"Caroline?" he was saying. "I don't think you've been listening to a single word. Can you tell the class, please, what the eastern and western boundaries of Phoenicia were?"
Caroline grinned. "The Mediterranean Sea on the west," she said. "And the Lebanon Mountains on the
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