Read Online The Normal Heart and The Destiny of Me: Two Plays by Larry Kramer - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Larry Kramer
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It’s always guys like you who’ve never had one who are always screaming about relationships, and monogamy and fidelity and holy matrimony. What are you, a closet straight?
NED: Mickey, more sex isn’t more liberating. And having so much sex makes finding love impossible.
MICKEY: Neddie, dahling, do not put your failure to find somebody on the morality of all the rest of us.
NED: Mickey, dahling, I’m just saying what I think! It’s taken me twenty years of assorted forms of therapy in various major world capitals to be able to do so without guilt, fear, or giving a fuck if anybody likes it or not.
TOMMY: I’ll buy that!
NED: Thank you.
BRUCE: But not everyone’s so free to say what they think!
MICKEY: Or able to afford so much therapy. Although God knows I need it. (
Looking at his watch.
) Look, it’s late, and we haven’t elected our president. Ned, I think it should be. . . Bruce. Everybody knows him and likes him and . . . I mean, everybody expects you to—
NED: You mean he’s popular and everybody’s afraid of me.
MICKEY: Yes.
TOMMY: No.
MICKEY: No.
TOMMY: No, what it means is that you have a certain kind of energy that’s definitely needed, but Bruce has a. . . presence that might bring people together in a way you can’t.
NED: What’s that mean?
TOMMY: It means he’s gorgeous—and all the kids on Christopher Street and Fire Island will feel a bit more comfortable following him.
NED: Just like high school.
TOMMY and MICKEY: Yes!
NED: Follow him where?
TOMMY: (
Putting his arm around him.
) Well, honey, why don’t we have a little dinner and I’ll tell you all about it—and more.
NED: Unh, thanks, I’m busy.
TOMMY: Forever? Well, that’s too bad. I wanted to try my hand at smoothing out your rough edges.
MICKEY: Good luck.
NED: (
To
BRUCE. ) Well, it looks like you’re the president.
BRUCE: I don’t think I want this.
NED: Oh, come on, you’re gorgeous—and we’re all going to follow you.
BRUCE: Fuck you. I accept.
NED: Well, fuck you, congratulations.
TOMMY: There are going to be a lot of scared people out there needingsomeplace to call for information. I’d be interested in starting some sort of telephone hot line.
BRUCE: (
His first decision in office.
) Unh . . . sure. Just prepare a detailed budget and let me see it before you make any commitments.
MICKEY: (
To
NED. ) Don’t you feel in safe hands already?
TOMMY: (
To
BRUCE. ) What is it you do for a living, if I may ask?
BRUCE: I’m a vice-president of Citibank.
TOMMY: That’s nothing to be shy about, sugar. You invented the Cash Machine. (
Picking up an envelope.
) So, are we mailing these out or what?
BRUCE: What do you think?
TOMMY: I’ll bet nobody even notices.
BRUCE: Oh, there will be some who notice. Okay.
TOMMY: Okay? Okay! Our first adult compromise. Thank y’all for your cooperation.
( FELIX ,
carrying a shopping bag, lets himself in with his own key.
NED
goes to greet him.
)
NED: Everybody, this is Felix. Bruce, Tommy, Mickey. Bruce just got elected president.
FELIX: My condolences. Don’t let me interrupt. Anybody want any Balducci gourmet ice cream—it’s eighteen bucks a pint?
( NED
and
FELIX
go into the kitchen.
)
MICKEY: It looks like Neddie’s found a boyfriend.
BRUCE: Thank God, now maybe he’ll leave me alone.
TOMMY: Shit, he’s got his own key. It looks like I signed on too late.
BRUCE: I worry about Ned. I mean, I like him a lot, but his style is so . . . confrontational. We could get into a lot of trouble with him.
TOMMY: Honey, he looks like a pretty good catch to me. We could get into a lot of trouble without him.
( NED
and
FELIX
come back.
FELIX
cleans up after the guys.
)
MICKEY: I’m going home. My Gregory, he burns dinner every night, and when I’m late, he blames me.
BRUCE: (
To
NED. ) My boss doesn’t know and he hates gays. He keeps telling me fag jokes and I keep laughing at them.
NED: Citibank won’t fire you for being gay. And if they
NED: Mickey, more sex isn’t more liberating. And having so much sex makes finding love impossible.
MICKEY: Neddie, dahling, do not put your failure to find somebody on the morality of all the rest of us.
NED: Mickey, dahling, I’m just saying what I think! It’s taken me twenty years of assorted forms of therapy in various major world capitals to be able to do so without guilt, fear, or giving a fuck if anybody likes it or not.
TOMMY: I’ll buy that!
NED: Thank you.
BRUCE: But not everyone’s so free to say what they think!
MICKEY: Or able to afford so much therapy. Although God knows I need it. (
Looking at his watch.
) Look, it’s late, and we haven’t elected our president. Ned, I think it should be. . . Bruce. Everybody knows him and likes him and . . . I mean, everybody expects you to—
NED: You mean he’s popular and everybody’s afraid of me.
MICKEY: Yes.
TOMMY: No.
MICKEY: No.
TOMMY: No, what it means is that you have a certain kind of energy that’s definitely needed, but Bruce has a. . . presence that might bring people together in a way you can’t.
NED: What’s that mean?
TOMMY: It means he’s gorgeous—and all the kids on Christopher Street and Fire Island will feel a bit more comfortable following him.
NED: Just like high school.
TOMMY and MICKEY: Yes!
NED: Follow him where?
TOMMY: (
Putting his arm around him.
) Well, honey, why don’t we have a little dinner and I’ll tell you all about it—and more.
NED: Unh, thanks, I’m busy.
TOMMY: Forever? Well, that’s too bad. I wanted to try my hand at smoothing out your rough edges.
MICKEY: Good luck.
NED: (
To
BRUCE. ) Well, it looks like you’re the president.
BRUCE: I don’t think I want this.
NED: Oh, come on, you’re gorgeous—and we’re all going to follow you.
BRUCE: Fuck you. I accept.
NED: Well, fuck you, congratulations.
TOMMY: There are going to be a lot of scared people out there needingsomeplace to call for information. I’d be interested in starting some sort of telephone hot line.
BRUCE: (
His first decision in office.
) Unh . . . sure. Just prepare a detailed budget and let me see it before you make any commitments.
MICKEY: (
To
NED. ) Don’t you feel in safe hands already?
TOMMY: (
To
BRUCE. ) What is it you do for a living, if I may ask?
BRUCE: I’m a vice-president of Citibank.
TOMMY: That’s nothing to be shy about, sugar. You invented the Cash Machine. (
Picking up an envelope.
) So, are we mailing these out or what?
BRUCE: What do you think?
TOMMY: I’ll bet nobody even notices.
BRUCE: Oh, there will be some who notice. Okay.
TOMMY: Okay? Okay! Our first adult compromise. Thank y’all for your cooperation.
( FELIX ,
carrying a shopping bag, lets himself in with his own key.
NED
goes to greet him.
)
NED: Everybody, this is Felix. Bruce, Tommy, Mickey. Bruce just got elected president.
FELIX: My condolences. Don’t let me interrupt. Anybody want any Balducci gourmet ice cream—it’s eighteen bucks a pint?
( NED
and
FELIX
go into the kitchen.
)
MICKEY: It looks like Neddie’s found a boyfriend.
BRUCE: Thank God, now maybe he’ll leave me alone.
TOMMY: Shit, he’s got his own key. It looks like I signed on too late.
BRUCE: I worry about Ned. I mean, I like him a lot, but his style is so . . . confrontational. We could get into a lot of trouble with him.
TOMMY: Honey, he looks like a pretty good catch to me. We could get into a lot of trouble without him.
( NED
and
FELIX
come back.
FELIX
cleans up after the guys.
)
MICKEY: I’m going home. My Gregory, he burns dinner every night, and when I’m late, he blames me.
BRUCE: (
To
NED. ) My boss doesn’t know and he hates gays. He keeps telling me fag jokes and I keep laughing at them.
NED: Citibank won’t fire you for being gay. And if they
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