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Authors: Rita Bradshaw
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the fishwives who frequented the dock areas after dark peering at her. The woman’s lined face was painted and her head uncovered, showing the brassy colour of her hair, but the eyes in the world-weary face were kind. It was to these Carrie replied. ‘No, no. I . . . I’m just having a rest. My . . . bags are heavy.’ She gestured to the shopping at her feet.
‘Aye, well, I wouldn’t tarry too long, a nice little lass like you. There’s all sorts about this time of night. You get yerself home.’
A nice little lass like her. Carrie stood staring at the woman but for the life of her she couldn’t speak. Something of what she was feeling must have shown on her face, because after a long moment the fishwife said softly, ‘There’s nowt so bad you can’t deal with it, hinny, an’ I should know. The sea’s taken everyone I ever loved, me man an’ me three lads, but you can’t let it beat you, not in here, see?’ She placed her hand on her shawl above her heart. ‘You have to fight back, that’s the nature of things.’
‘And if you can’t?’
‘Oh you can, hinny, you can. You take life by the scruff of its neck an’ bash its face in, it’s the only way.’ There was another pause and then the woman said, even more softly, ‘Is it a bairn, lass? You in the family way?’
And, surprisingly, Carrie found she could tell this stranger quite easily. She nodded, saying, ‘It was only the once, I didn’t . . . I mean I hadn’t done it before.’
‘Once is all it takes, lass, for some. The lad, won’t he marry you?’
‘I was going to tell him tonight but when I was at his house he told his family he’d asked someone else to marry him. The thing is, there was a wedding and I had too much to drink and we just . . .’ Her voice trailed away.
The woman showed she understood when she said, ‘The swine, takin’ advantage of a bit bairn. How old is he, lass?’
‘Twenty.’
‘An’ you?’
‘Sixteen. It’s my birthday today.’
‘Lass, you tell him what’s what, betrothal or not, an’ if he still drags his heels, you get your da to sort it. You do have a da?’
Carrie nodded.
‘Any brothers?’
She nodded again.
‘Then you do what I say an’ keep away from the river an’ all. If anyone should be standin’ here, it’s that swine, right?’
Carrie’s eyes opened wide. The woman knew. After gulping hard, Carrie reached out her hand and touched the woman’s arm. ‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘You’ve been very kind.’
‘Aye, well, there’s plenty who’d say someone like you shouldn’t be seen talkin’ to someone like me, an’ perhaps they’re right at that. Now you get yerself home an’ come mornin’ you have it out with this lad. Here.’ She bent down, lifted the bags of shopping and passed them to Carrie. ‘Don’t you worry, hinny, it’ll all work out right in the end.’
No, no, it wouldn’t. Even as she smiled and then turned and walked away from her good Samaritan, Carrie knew she wasn’t going to tell Alec. He didn’t care about her. That being the case she wasn’t going to force him to marry her. And she couldn’t let her da know either. He’d beat the living daylights out of Alec, she knew he would, and with Renee married to Walter and Mr Sutton and the others working with her da and Billy down the pit, there would be ructions. She had to get away, but how, and where to? Where could she go so that the stigma of her having a bairn wouldn’t touch her family? Down south? Perhaps a workhouse down south and then once the baby was born she could leave it there and escape, and no one here need ever know.
She walked on, her head whirling with one impossible plan after another, but in the few moments before her father hailed her - having come to look for her and being half out of his mind with worry due to the lateness of the hour - Carrie realised that although nothing had
‘Aye, well, I wouldn’t tarry too long, a nice little lass like you. There’s all sorts about this time of night. You get yerself home.’
A nice little lass like her. Carrie stood staring at the woman but for the life of her she couldn’t speak. Something of what she was feeling must have shown on her face, because after a long moment the fishwife said softly, ‘There’s nowt so bad you can’t deal with it, hinny, an’ I should know. The sea’s taken everyone I ever loved, me man an’ me three lads, but you can’t let it beat you, not in here, see?’ She placed her hand on her shawl above her heart. ‘You have to fight back, that’s the nature of things.’
‘And if you can’t?’
‘Oh you can, hinny, you can. You take life by the scruff of its neck an’ bash its face in, it’s the only way.’ There was another pause and then the woman said, even more softly, ‘Is it a bairn, lass? You in the family way?’
And, surprisingly, Carrie found she could tell this stranger quite easily. She nodded, saying, ‘It was only the once, I didn’t . . . I mean I hadn’t done it before.’
‘Once is all it takes, lass, for some. The lad, won’t he marry you?’
‘I was going to tell him tonight but when I was at his house he told his family he’d asked someone else to marry him. The thing is, there was a wedding and I had too much to drink and we just . . .’ Her voice trailed away.
The woman showed she understood when she said, ‘The swine, takin’ advantage of a bit bairn. How old is he, lass?’
‘Twenty.’
‘An’ you?’
‘Sixteen. It’s my birthday today.’
‘Lass, you tell him what’s what, betrothal or not, an’ if he still drags his heels, you get your da to sort it. You do have a da?’
Carrie nodded.
‘Any brothers?’
She nodded again.
‘Then you do what I say an’ keep away from the river an’ all. If anyone should be standin’ here, it’s that swine, right?’
Carrie’s eyes opened wide. The woman knew. After gulping hard, Carrie reached out her hand and touched the woman’s arm. ‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘You’ve been very kind.’
‘Aye, well, there’s plenty who’d say someone like you shouldn’t be seen talkin’ to someone like me, an’ perhaps they’re right at that. Now you get yerself home an’ come mornin’ you have it out with this lad. Here.’ She bent down, lifted the bags of shopping and passed them to Carrie. ‘Don’t you worry, hinny, it’ll all work out right in the end.’
No, no, it wouldn’t. Even as she smiled and then turned and walked away from her good Samaritan, Carrie knew she wasn’t going to tell Alec. He didn’t care about her. That being the case she wasn’t going to force him to marry her. And she couldn’t let her da know either. He’d beat the living daylights out of Alec, she knew he would, and with Renee married to Walter and Mr Sutton and the others working with her da and Billy down the pit, there would be ructions. She had to get away, but how, and where to? Where could she go so that the stigma of her having a bairn wouldn’t touch her family? Down south? Perhaps a workhouse down south and then once the baby was born she could leave it there and escape, and no one here need ever know.
She walked on, her head whirling with one impossible plan after another, but in the few moments before her father hailed her - having come to look for her and being half out of his mind with worry due to the lateness of the hour - Carrie realised that although nothing had
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