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Authors: Rebecca Berto
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stain.”
She looked up at me, eyes wide in wonder, then over herself and patted down her dress to check.
“Are you okay?” I asked. I hoped she wasn’t hurt.
“Fine.” She stared at my hands as I wrung them on the last napkin, soaking up the dampness on my skin. “I think I’m on high alert. That cocktail, that girl bumping into me …”
“But you’re not hurt?”
She smiled and said, “No, Rick. I’m fine.”
“Have you ever …” I drifted off, inspecting her expression. Her eyes glimmered, and she licked her lips as if she could still taste the buzz from that one drink. Like she’d never … “Ever drank before?”
She shook her head causing her hair to sway. Fuck, how I wanted to grab hold of it.
“I’m a bad influence.”
“Would have happened anyway.”
“But much later on when you’d be older and wiser not to take a drink from a strange guy.”
“You’re not a stranger, Rick. We’ve seen each other. And I like that my first was you.”
Someone burst between us , and we lurched back. Justin cried out, “My big brother here was your first?”
She blushed. “ Drink .”
“Now that’s some context,” I said, chuckling, though I didn’t feel very funny.
“What other firsts are left for me, princess?”
“None if you keep calling me that.”
“What,” Justin teased, slinging his arm over her shoulder, “ princess ?”
She struggled under him. With a firm grip on his shoulder, I plucked him off her. “Time to go. Nasty Pants is giving us evil eyes.”
“Nasty Pants?”
Vee and I chuckled.
And Justin, feeling vulnerable outside our joke, looked deep into my eyes to a place I didn’t want him perceiving.
I did the only thing I could to plug that plunging hole. I said, “Well, I’ll leave you guys to it. Going to see the guys again.” I stepped back, waved. “Justin,” I lowered my voice, “Genevieve.”
• • •
Justin’s eyes burned a hole through my back as I walked over to the guys. I felt it like a looming shadow, and when I pumped Matt’s hand hello, I saw him doing just what I had imagined, right there in my peripheral.
I hadn’t been kidding earlier about Dad wanting to kill him. He was serious about us behaving. And he thought we did because of Mum’s disciplining. Often, she’d take me by the hand to a quiet spot and remind me with teary eyes of how she came close to losing him, close to losing our family in the process over many nights of his smoking and drinking. Sometimes, I wanted to throw my hands up at her. I couldn’t do shit. He misbehaved more because I tried to father him. I wasn’t that dude. Shit, I was hardly a brother to him.
On the other side of the room, Justin glided his hand around Vee’s back and used a finger to draw in her face. She came. She leant to his lips, paused. He snatched up the space and her, his lips hungry. The jealousy plunged into my gut like a sword of revenge.
I could not wait to see if she’d pull back. I had to find a distraction. And they were here tonight in herds. A group of three stood nearby.
I stepped up to the girls and said, “Come chill outside with us.” I cocked my head to my mates behind me.
One girl nodded. “Sure thing,” grinning hard, her cheeks pinched.
Three girls, five guys, about twenty cigarettes and lots of fucking—class schedules fucking us over, parents fucking us over, who seemingly didn’t get the memo we weren’t in high school anymore, and repeated eye fucking.
We huddled outside in a circle close to the doors. Some of the heat billowed out with the curtains as people passed, but the temperature still felt a few degrees below mild so, of course, we guys warmed the girls. One of them chose me, sitting high up my lap, her perky little ass wiggling over my crotch every time she giggled. Over a short period of time, she turned more so to face me, asking what uni did I go to? What was I studying? Did I go out much? And, finally, did I have a
She looked up at me, eyes wide in wonder, then over herself and patted down her dress to check.
“Are you okay?” I asked. I hoped she wasn’t hurt.
“Fine.” She stared at my hands as I wrung them on the last napkin, soaking up the dampness on my skin. “I think I’m on high alert. That cocktail, that girl bumping into me …”
“But you’re not hurt?”
She smiled and said, “No, Rick. I’m fine.”
“Have you ever …” I drifted off, inspecting her expression. Her eyes glimmered, and she licked her lips as if she could still taste the buzz from that one drink. Like she’d never … “Ever drank before?”
She shook her head causing her hair to sway. Fuck, how I wanted to grab hold of it.
“I’m a bad influence.”
“Would have happened anyway.”
“But much later on when you’d be older and wiser not to take a drink from a strange guy.”
“You’re not a stranger, Rick. We’ve seen each other. And I like that my first was you.”
Someone burst between us , and we lurched back. Justin cried out, “My big brother here was your first?”
She blushed. “ Drink .”
“Now that’s some context,” I said, chuckling, though I didn’t feel very funny.
“What other firsts are left for me, princess?”
“None if you keep calling me that.”
“What,” Justin teased, slinging his arm over her shoulder, “ princess ?”
She struggled under him. With a firm grip on his shoulder, I plucked him off her. “Time to go. Nasty Pants is giving us evil eyes.”
“Nasty Pants?”
Vee and I chuckled.
And Justin, feeling vulnerable outside our joke, looked deep into my eyes to a place I didn’t want him perceiving.
I did the only thing I could to plug that plunging hole. I said, “Well, I’ll leave you guys to it. Going to see the guys again.” I stepped back, waved. “Justin,” I lowered my voice, “Genevieve.”
• • •
Justin’s eyes burned a hole through my back as I walked over to the guys. I felt it like a looming shadow, and when I pumped Matt’s hand hello, I saw him doing just what I had imagined, right there in my peripheral.
I hadn’t been kidding earlier about Dad wanting to kill him. He was serious about us behaving. And he thought we did because of Mum’s disciplining. Often, she’d take me by the hand to a quiet spot and remind me with teary eyes of how she came close to losing him, close to losing our family in the process over many nights of his smoking and drinking. Sometimes, I wanted to throw my hands up at her. I couldn’t do shit. He misbehaved more because I tried to father him. I wasn’t that dude. Shit, I was hardly a brother to him.
On the other side of the room, Justin glided his hand around Vee’s back and used a finger to draw in her face. She came. She leant to his lips, paused. He snatched up the space and her, his lips hungry. The jealousy plunged into my gut like a sword of revenge.
I could not wait to see if she’d pull back. I had to find a distraction. And they were here tonight in herds. A group of three stood nearby.
I stepped up to the girls and said, “Come chill outside with us.” I cocked my head to my mates behind me.
One girl nodded. “Sure thing,” grinning hard, her cheeks pinched.
Three girls, five guys, about twenty cigarettes and lots of fucking—class schedules fucking us over, parents fucking us over, who seemingly didn’t get the memo we weren’t in high school anymore, and repeated eye fucking.
We huddled outside in a circle close to the doors. Some of the heat billowed out with the curtains as people passed, but the temperature still felt a few degrees below mild so, of course, we guys warmed the girls. One of them chose me, sitting high up my lap, her perky little ass wiggling over my crotch every time she giggled. Over a short period of time, she turned more so to face me, asking what uni did I go to? What was I studying? Did I go out much? And, finally, did I have a
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