thefirst time he’d used it in the past two weeks, but it still had the ability to throw us. Chris particularly.
‘I could have downloaded it for you,’ Chris said.
‘No, it’s some rare session they did. She got it through someone she knows in the industry.’
Chris said nothing. I poured him another cup of tea.
‘It must be good to have two mums,’ piped up Matilda. ‘It means you get more stuff.’
Josh glanced at me before taking another mouthful of toast.
‘When is she going to come here?’ asked Matilda.
‘Like I said, love. It’s still early days.’
‘Oh, is it because you don’t like her?’
‘No, love. Not at all.’
‘So doesn’t Daddy like her?’ Matilda looked up at Chris as she said it.
Josh looked at him too.
‘It’s not that I don’t like her.’
‘Do you love her, then? You must have loved her when she was Josh’s mummy that lived here.’
Nobody said anything.
Josh stood up, walked over and put the radio on. Sometimes he was very much older than his sixteen years.
* * *
We met Debbie and Sophie at the end of the lane. Or rather, Matilda charged into them, and she and Sophie ran off in front, doing their scrunchy leaf stomp along the verge.
‘How’s things?’ asked Debbie. Her nose was already red and her hands were thrust deep into her pockets against the cold.
‘Oh, much the same,’ I said. ‘Still treading on eggshells around the breakfast table.’
‘Did Josh see her again at the weekend?’
‘Yeah, seems to be a regular Saturday afternoon fixture.’
‘And how does Chris feel about that?’
‘I think the thing that’s really getting to him is how happy Josh is. Not that he was miserable before, or anything, but he’s buzzing with it all. It’s like he’s got a new girlfriend or something. Except it’s not a girlfriend, it’s his mum.’
‘And what about you?’ asked Debbie.
‘What about me?’
‘Well, it can’t be easy. To all intents and purposes you’ve been Josh’s mother for the past nine years.’
‘Yeah, but she’s not like a mother to him. She’s more like a really cool older sister. I think that’s how Josh sees her, anyway.’
‘So basically she gets to do all the fun things with him and you get to wash his socks and cook him tea.’
‘Yeah, something like that,’ I said.
‘See. I told you to get shot of her.’
‘She’s Josh’s mother, Deb. It’s his choice. It’s not up to me.’
‘And Chris agrees with that, does he?’
‘Chris is doing his best. It’s difficult for him.’
‘Why did she leave in the first place?’
‘I don’t know. Chris has never gone into it. And I don’t think now is a good time to ask.’
‘It’s the perfect time to ask. She’s back on the scene, and it’s only fair that you know what you’re dealing with.’
I shrugged.
She was right, of course. I just didn’t want to admit it. Not even to myself.
* * *
The first thing which struck me about Catherine and Nathan wasn’t how beautiful they were (although they were undoubtedly beautiful) but what a very impressive front they were putting on. Usually, by the time people get to see me, they have given up pretending that everything is OK or, if they haven’t, the facade cracks within a few seconds of entering my room.
Nathan strolled in, shook me firmly by the hand and said it was good to meet me, as if I were a business associate. Catherine stretched out a long and elegant hand to shake mine. She smiled at me, a genuine smile which exuded warmth. They sat down. Both of them were dressed immaculately, he in a well-cut suit and she in a long-sleeved purple shift dress with a silk scarf and tall grey boots.
Nathan poured two glasses of water and handed one to Catherine. They both looked at me, bright and attentive, as if they had wandered in here by accident, thinking I was the small business adviser next door.
‘Thank you both for coming,’ I said. ‘I do understand what a difficult process this can be. If you
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