had time to think things through,” he said. “When everyone is rested.” He nodded at Lila.
I turned to my assistant. She looked so young and mortal, lying in this huge bed full of fluffy white blankets.
“You gave me quite a scare,” I said to her.
“I’m glad I wasn’t around when Guinevere was queen,” she whispered.
“You should be, truly. How do you feel?”
“Weak. Tired. Pissed off.”
I nodded. She had lost too much life energy. She would be feeling weak for a long time.
“And how is Adam?” I asked Merlin.
“He wakes to eat large amounts of meat and then sleeps some more,” Merlin replied. “They are both lucky to be alive.”
I nodded. “They are young and will heal fully in time.” I stood. “And you and I will talk soon.”
Merlin was right. I needed time to think about all my new memories.
13
The Future
I drove Lila to my house. We spent the day watching driveling romantic comedies — Lila’s favorite. We ordered any and all of her favorite take-out food, and throughout the day delivery men brought us pizza, Chinese takeout, coffee, and even a chocolate cream pie. Lila’s phone kept whistling, chirping, and making other absurd noises. I made her ignore all of them.
At the end of the day I tucked her into my bed and slept on the couch. More memories bled through into my dreams. Of Merlin. Of Merlin and me. No new revelations came, just the luxury of remembering lost pieces of my own life.
Lila woke me up the next morning, bouncing on the couch. “Good morning!”
“You should be sleeping,” I grumbled and studied her. A bit of pink brightened her cheeks, and her eyes looked less dull.
“You know everyone is talking about you, right?” She grinned. “The great Morgan le Fay. They’re calling you the grand witch of Seattle. Hey, that sounds like sandwich. I bet you some hipster is going to make a Morgan le Fay sandwich. Grand witch. Oh jeez, your nose is bleeding again. Is that some kind of witch thing I don’t know about?”
I blinked. “What?”
“Your nose.”
“No, the other thing. What people are talking?”
“Um, well, you sort of totally outed yourself when you saved all the witchy women of Seattle from Guinevere. All the local witches are flipping out.” She handed me some tissue.
I cursed in a couple of languages as I wiped up my bloody face. Was it too late to hunt each of those women down and set a forgetting spell on them?
“There’s a chat room where people talk about you and a couple of fan sites already. Also, I’m sort of famous too, because everyone knows I work for you.” She grinned with her gray-tinged face.
“I’ll deal with all of that later,” I said. “You look well enough to go home, where you will stay until you feel completely better. I will pay for sick leave. Don’t come back to work until you are fully healed. The level of life-force you lost is—”
“Sure thing, worry-wart. Geez, you almost sound like you care about me or something.” Lila gave me a long hug and took a grocery bag of take-out with her.
I took a long shower and then cleaned my small house thoroughly, twice. I pondered the forgetting spell, and all the things I couldn’t remember. It was like searching for the shape of fog. I took a walk and thought about Merlin. I went over each memory I had of him, looking for places and moments of clarity about who he really was. I thought about sharing the Grail with him. I’d trusted and loved him completely in that moment. Yet he was also the man who’d stayed away from me when I had a forgetting spell on me. Why? I could come up with a dozen reasons, but had no intuition about which answer might be correct. I walked halfway across the city and back.
I stayed up late that night, examining the forgetting spell and doing certain experiments on it to test its boundaries and properties. Finally, I must have dozed because I woke at five a.m., shaken awake by dreams of my own ancient
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