Read Online The Mad and the MacAbre by Jeff Strand - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jeff Strand
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to my parents."
"Please. I don't have any friends. I really
like having him here."
Byron's smile faded. "I can't give you my
dog, Charlie."
Kutter licked Charlie's nose.
"Just let him stay a little while longer,
okay?" Charlie asked. His voice cracked. He couldn't remember it
ever having done that.
Byron was quiet for a long moment. "You've
really never had a pet?"
"Never."
"You're almost making me cry here,
Charlie."
"I'm sorry."
"Mind if I have a seat?"
Charlie shook his head, and Byron sat down
on his couch. "You're not making this easy for me, you know. I feel
like I'm stealing a puppy away from a little kid."
Byron sat there for a while, lost in
thought. Charlie desperately wished that he'd written a script for
this kind of thing. He should've guessed that somebody would come
for Kutter eventually, and he should've written a foolproof speech
to convince the owner to let Charlie keep him.
"Can I at least visit him?" Charlie asked,
his upper lip trembling a bit.
"Show me the toys," said Byron.
"What?"
"The toys you bought him. Show them to
me."
Charlie walked over to the television stand
and picked up the small wicker basket that was on the floor next to
it. "He keeps scattering them all around the house," Charlie said,
"but I put them here when I clean the place up."
He brought the basket over to Byron. "It's
only six. He wrecked two of them. The stuffed ones."
Bryon peered into the basket and nodded his
approval. "Nice selection. He likes squeaky things." Byron poked at
a rubber dolphin. Kutter's ears perked up at the squeak.
"I'd buy him more," Charlie insisted.
"Well, it's never good to spoil them."
"I'd spoil him anyway."
Byron sighed. "All right, Charlie, here's
what we're going to do. Have you seen those movies or TV shows
where the kids are fighting over the rightful owner of a dog, and
so they do a contest where they both call the dog and see who he
comes to first?"
"No."
"Doesn't matter. We'll set Duke in the
middle of the room, we'll each take a corner, and we'll both call
him. You're clearly deeply attached to the little guy, and if he's
just as attached to you, I'll step down as his owner. Sound
fair?"
"Yes. Very fair." Charlie was elated. Even
if he liked his old home, Kutter wouldn't want Charlie to be left
alone, would he?
"Go grab a couple of dog treats," said
Byron.
Charlie retrieved two pseudo-bacon strips
from the canister on top of the refrigerator and brought them back
into the living room.
"Duke loves food a lot more than he loves
either of us, that's for sure, so we'll put the treats in the
center of the room while we each take a corner."
"Who picks the corner?"
"You have the home field advantage, so I'll
pick. I'll stand in the corner by the TV."
Charlie walked over to the opposite corner
and crouched down. If Kutter didn't pick him, Charlie was going to
start sobbing right in front of this stranger. Maybe that would be
a good thing. Maybe he'd look so pathetic that Byron would give him
Kutter anyway.
No. You didn't give great dogs away to
pathetic sobbing people. He just had to frantically hope that
Kutter would make the right choice.
Byron dropped the bacon strips onto the
center of the floor and then gently set Kutter down next to them.
He quickly walked to his own corner, and then crouched down as
well. "C'mere, Duke!"
"C'mere, Kutter! Here, Kutter!"
"Duke! Come to your Daddy!"
"Kutter! Come to your friend!"
The Boston terrier gobbled up the first
bacon strip and immediately started on the second.
"Here, Duke! Here, Duke, Duke, Duke!"
"Here, Kutter! Here, Kutter, Kutter,
Kutter!"
Byron clapped his hands. Charlie did the
same.
The dog finished up the second bacon strip,
sneezed, let out a soft bark, and then ran into Charlie's arms.
"Thank you!" Charlie said as he vigorously
petted the dog with both hands. "Thank you, Kutter! You're such a
good doggie! Yes, you're such a good doggie!"
Byron stood up. Charlie felt a pang of
sympathy for the guy as he
"Please. I don't have any friends. I really
like having him here."
Byron's smile faded. "I can't give you my
dog, Charlie."
Kutter licked Charlie's nose.
"Just let him stay a little while longer,
okay?" Charlie asked. His voice cracked. He couldn't remember it
ever having done that.
Byron was quiet for a long moment. "You've
really never had a pet?"
"Never."
"You're almost making me cry here,
Charlie."
"I'm sorry."
"Mind if I have a seat?"
Charlie shook his head, and Byron sat down
on his couch. "You're not making this easy for me, you know. I feel
like I'm stealing a puppy away from a little kid."
Byron sat there for a while, lost in
thought. Charlie desperately wished that he'd written a script for
this kind of thing. He should've guessed that somebody would come
for Kutter eventually, and he should've written a foolproof speech
to convince the owner to let Charlie keep him.
"Can I at least visit him?" Charlie asked,
his upper lip trembling a bit.
"Show me the toys," said Byron.
"What?"
"The toys you bought him. Show them to
me."
Charlie walked over to the television stand
and picked up the small wicker basket that was on the floor next to
it. "He keeps scattering them all around the house," Charlie said,
"but I put them here when I clean the place up."
He brought the basket over to Byron. "It's
only six. He wrecked two of them. The stuffed ones."
Bryon peered into the basket and nodded his
approval. "Nice selection. He likes squeaky things." Byron poked at
a rubber dolphin. Kutter's ears perked up at the squeak.
"I'd buy him more," Charlie insisted.
"Well, it's never good to spoil them."
"I'd spoil him anyway."
Byron sighed. "All right, Charlie, here's
what we're going to do. Have you seen those movies or TV shows
where the kids are fighting over the rightful owner of a dog, and
so they do a contest where they both call the dog and see who he
comes to first?"
"No."
"Doesn't matter. We'll set Duke in the
middle of the room, we'll each take a corner, and we'll both call
him. You're clearly deeply attached to the little guy, and if he's
just as attached to you, I'll step down as his owner. Sound
fair?"
"Yes. Very fair." Charlie was elated. Even
if he liked his old home, Kutter wouldn't want Charlie to be left
alone, would he?
"Go grab a couple of dog treats," said
Byron.
Charlie retrieved two pseudo-bacon strips
from the canister on top of the refrigerator and brought them back
into the living room.
"Duke loves food a lot more than he loves
either of us, that's for sure, so we'll put the treats in the
center of the room while we each take a corner."
"Who picks the corner?"
"You have the home field advantage, so I'll
pick. I'll stand in the corner by the TV."
Charlie walked over to the opposite corner
and crouched down. If Kutter didn't pick him, Charlie was going to
start sobbing right in front of this stranger. Maybe that would be
a good thing. Maybe he'd look so pathetic that Byron would give him
Kutter anyway.
No. You didn't give great dogs away to
pathetic sobbing people. He just had to frantically hope that
Kutter would make the right choice.
Byron dropped the bacon strips onto the
center of the floor and then gently set Kutter down next to them.
He quickly walked to his own corner, and then crouched down as
well. "C'mere, Duke!"
"C'mere, Kutter! Here, Kutter!"
"Duke! Come to your Daddy!"
"Kutter! Come to your friend!"
The Boston terrier gobbled up the first
bacon strip and immediately started on the second.
"Here, Duke! Here, Duke, Duke, Duke!"
"Here, Kutter! Here, Kutter, Kutter,
Kutter!"
Byron clapped his hands. Charlie did the
same.
The dog finished up the second bacon strip,
sneezed, let out a soft bark, and then ran into Charlie's arms.
"Thank you!" Charlie said as he vigorously
petted the dog with both hands. "Thank you, Kutter! You're such a
good doggie! Yes, you're such a good doggie!"
Byron stood up. Charlie felt a pang of
sympathy for the guy as he
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