Read Online The Love Trials 3 by Helen Cooper, J.S. Cooper - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Helen Cooper, J.S. Cooper
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she’d look. She looked like an angel all in white. I couldn’t believe that she’d found a wedding dress so quickly. Though, she wasn’t a bridezilla, so I shouldn’t have been shocked that she’d found something she’d liked at the first store she’d entered.
“ You look beautiful.” I whispered up at her and she smiled at me with wide happy eyes.
“ You look very handsome, Jaxon.” She grabbed my hands and held them in hers. “You look very, very handsome.”
“ Let’s go do this thing.” I frowned and turned away from her. I didn’t need her making me feel bad. Already, I was started to feel funny inside. This whole situation didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel right. All I could think about was the conversation we’d had a couple of days previously about how much she trusted me and how happy she was now that she didn’t have to feel alone. We drove to the courthouse in silence, both of us thinking our own thoughts about what was going to happen.
I looked over at her as we got out of the car and she gave me a small awkward smile. It took me back to the first time I ’d seen her on the train. She was vulnerable. She wanted to be loved. She was a wounded butterfly. As we walked to the courthouse I knew that there would be no turning back for me if I went through with the wedding. As she kept giving me small smiles and quick furtive glances, I realized that Nancy was truly excited. She was truly excited and she was falling in love with me. I knew it as well as I knew my own name. I knew that her heart was beating to a different beat because my heart was as well. I had fallen in love with her. I’d tried to deny it. I didn’t want it. I didn’t deserve it, but I was in love with her. There was no way that I couldn’t love her. She’d given herself to me in every way and she’d believed in me, when everything told her not to. She loved me and I loved her and this was our wedding day and the most ironic part of it was the fact that loving her meant I had to walk away. It just didn’t seem fair, that I’d come this far and I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t. If I married Nancy, it would signal the end of her fathers’ company, because I was going to take it down. She’d hate me and feel used and we’d both be heartbroken. If I walked away, it would mean that I loved her enough to not bring her father down, but then she’d be so heartbroken by my rejection that it would be over either way. I had two choices and both of them were awful. It came down to what I wanted most. Did I want to honor my fathers’ name and bring down the man responsible for his death or did I want to honor my heart and my love for Nancy and walk away because I knew that was best for her. I was minutes away from being married to her and I had no idea what I was going to do.
***
“Do you take Nancy Hastings to be your lawfully wedded wife?” The priest spoke loudly and clearly, nodding at me with a small smile as he waited for my answer. I stared at him for a second, my voice mute and my heart beating. I knew that whatever I decided to do would mean the downfall of someone.
As I stood there, I thought to myself that the question shouldn ’t be what would you do for love? The question should be what wouldn’t you do? What wouldn’t you do means a whole lot more. Trust me, I know. For love I’d walk to hell and back. I’d climb a mountain. I’d swim an ocean. I’d jump over valleys and swing through jungles. For love, I’d give my life. But that’s not the question upon me now. The question upon me now, is would I walk away? Would I leave her standing at the altar because I love her? Did I love her enough to not marry her? That my dears, is the ultimate question and I had no idea what to do.
I looked at Nancy then, standing in her white wedding dress and I knew in that moment that marrying her wouldn ’t be right. It would be the ultimate betrayal of everything I stood for and everything she’d
“ You look beautiful.” I whispered up at her and she smiled at me with wide happy eyes.
“ You look very handsome, Jaxon.” She grabbed my hands and held them in hers. “You look very, very handsome.”
“ Let’s go do this thing.” I frowned and turned away from her. I didn’t need her making me feel bad. Already, I was started to feel funny inside. This whole situation didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel right. All I could think about was the conversation we’d had a couple of days previously about how much she trusted me and how happy she was now that she didn’t have to feel alone. We drove to the courthouse in silence, both of us thinking our own thoughts about what was going to happen.
I looked over at her as we got out of the car and she gave me a small awkward smile. It took me back to the first time I ’d seen her on the train. She was vulnerable. She wanted to be loved. She was a wounded butterfly. As we walked to the courthouse I knew that there would be no turning back for me if I went through with the wedding. As she kept giving me small smiles and quick furtive glances, I realized that Nancy was truly excited. She was truly excited and she was falling in love with me. I knew it as well as I knew my own name. I knew that her heart was beating to a different beat because my heart was as well. I had fallen in love with her. I’d tried to deny it. I didn’t want it. I didn’t deserve it, but I was in love with her. There was no way that I couldn’t love her. She’d given herself to me in every way and she’d believed in me, when everything told her not to. She loved me and I loved her and this was our wedding day and the most ironic part of it was the fact that loving her meant I had to walk away. It just didn’t seem fair, that I’d come this far and I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t. If I married Nancy, it would signal the end of her fathers’ company, because I was going to take it down. She’d hate me and feel used and we’d both be heartbroken. If I walked away, it would mean that I loved her enough to not bring her father down, but then she’d be so heartbroken by my rejection that it would be over either way. I had two choices and both of them were awful. It came down to what I wanted most. Did I want to honor my fathers’ name and bring down the man responsible for his death or did I want to honor my heart and my love for Nancy and walk away because I knew that was best for her. I was minutes away from being married to her and I had no idea what I was going to do.
***
“Do you take Nancy Hastings to be your lawfully wedded wife?” The priest spoke loudly and clearly, nodding at me with a small smile as he waited for my answer. I stared at him for a second, my voice mute and my heart beating. I knew that whatever I decided to do would mean the downfall of someone.
As I stood there, I thought to myself that the question shouldn ’t be what would you do for love? The question should be what wouldn’t you do? What wouldn’t you do means a whole lot more. Trust me, I know. For love I’d walk to hell and back. I’d climb a mountain. I’d swim an ocean. I’d jump over valleys and swing through jungles. For love, I’d give my life. But that’s not the question upon me now. The question upon me now, is would I walk away? Would I leave her standing at the altar because I love her? Did I love her enough to not marry her? That my dears, is the ultimate question and I had no idea what to do.
I looked at Nancy then, standing in her white wedding dress and I knew in that moment that marrying her wouldn ’t be right. It would be the ultimate betrayal of everything I stood for and everything she’d
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