Read Online The Listening Walls by Margaret Millar - Free Book Online Page B

looking at it, only partly conscious that it was there. “Oh, he doesn’t really believe all this, Rupert. He’s hurt because Amy didn’t confide in him, and angry at you for letting her go away.”
    â€œThere’s more to it than that. You oversimplify. Why do you suppose Gill feels that Amy is dead?”
    It was a question she’d been avoiding in her own mind for several days, and it disturbed her to hearit spoken aloud. “I don’t know.”
    â€œBecause he wants her dead.”
    â€œThat’s not true. He loves her. He loves her best.”
    â€œHe also hates her best. She is—or he believes she is—the source of his emotional troubles. If Amy’s dead, his problems are over. He’s free. Oh, sure, he’ll suffer at the conscious level, he’ll feel grief and pity and all that, but down at rock bottom he’s free.” He paused. “Only he isn’t. She’s not dead.”
    â€œI never thought for a minute that she was.” But Helene looked relieved to hear it, guiltily relieved. It was as if she, too, scraping along rock bottom, grubbing for satisfactions, had come across a dead Amy, a drowned, bedraggled baby bird with its mouth still open. “Listen, Rupert. You seem to understand that Gill isn’t—himself. You’ll be tolerant, won’t you?”
    â€œThat depends.”
    â€œOn what?”
    â€œHow far he goes.”
    â€œI’m sure the worst is over. When something upsetting like this comes along Gill thrashes around for a while but he eventually sees reason.” She had convinced herself, if not Rupert. She picked up the ring from her lap and put it back on her finger, only partly aware that she’d taken it off in the first place. “I must go now. I’m late for a dental appointment. You’ll let us know right away if you hear from Amy?”
    â€œCertainly. I’ll even bring the letter over so Gill can have the handwriting analyzed.”
    â€œDon’t be bitter.”
    â€œI’m not. I’m quite serious about it. What have I got to lose?”
    â€œYou’re being an awfully good sport over all this,” Helene said warmly. “I think Amy’s made a terrible mistake, walking out on you.”
    â€œShe didn’t walk. I drove her. And if she made a mis­take, that’s her business. For her to do anything on her own is a good thing, even if it’s wrong. Perhaps eventually Gill will understand that.”
    â€œHe will, give him time.”
    â€œShe’s never done anything on her own before. The trip to Mexico City was intended to be a declaration of independence. But it was merely a change in dependence: Wilma planned every inch of the way.”
    Helene mentally crossed herself at the mention of Wilma, whom she hadn’t really liked very well but who at least had never appeared in her dreams as a dead bird. “Listen, Rupert. You may think this is silly, but have you thought about advertising for Amy in some of the big newspapers throughout the country? I mean, let her know we’re worried and want to know where she is. You see ads like that all the time: Bill, contact Mary; Charley, write to Mother; Amy, come home. Things like that.”
    â€œAmy, come home,” he repeated. “Gill’s idea, I sup­pose?”
    â€œWell, yes. But I agree with it. It might do some good. Amy isn’t the type who’d want people to worry about her unnecessarily.”
    â€œPerhaps she is. How do we know? She’s never had much of a chance to prove what type she is.”
    â€œYou could try advertising anyway. It can’t do any harm. There wouldn’t even be any publicity if you made the ad vague enough and didn’t mention last names. We certainly don’t want publicity.”
    â€œYou mean Gill doesn’t.”
    â€œI mean none of us does,” she said sharply. “This whole business—it would