Read Online The List by Sherri L. Lewis - Free Book Online Page B

get in the way? A man may not be perfect, but as long as he’s willing to be perfected, completely submitted to the Lordship of Christ in his life, you’ve got something you can work with.” She paused for a moment and then looked out over the audience and finished with, “Ladies, choose well.”
    She passed the mic to the last speaker. Everyone was completely silent.
    I guess I needed to take Lisa’s list thing a little more seriously. As if she heard my thoughts, Lisa leaned past Angela and looked down the row and raised an eyebrow at me. I nodded, acknowledging her I-told-you-so.
    Cynthia Martin was the last to speak. “Good evening, ladies. I’m Cynthia, and I’ve been married twice. The first time ended in divorce after six years. I remarried five years after my divorce and have been married now for eight years. I have the wisdom of having been in a bad marriage and in a good marriage. I can tell you what made the difference in the two. My first marriage ended because I wasn’t prepared and because I didn’t choose well. I was twenty-two years old and didn’t know who I was. I met what I thought was this great guy, but honestly, I didn’t know who he was either.”
    She stood up and walked to the edge of the stage. “Some of you need to be focusing on who you are, what you want out of life, and who you are in Christ. Sometimes when we get married too early, we haven’t had time to develop and figure out what we want out of life, let alone what we want or need in a husband. Who has God called you to be? What is your purpose? If you can’t answer these questions, you’re not ready for a husband.
    â€œSecond, make sure you take the time to heal whenever you end a relationship. The first year after my divorce, I dated several men, and all the relationships ended in disaster. Each one reminded me of my ex-husband. So, for the next three years after my divorce, I didn’t date, or even think about talking to a man. I wanted to allow God to heal my heart, so I wouldn’t carry any baggage into a new relationship. The worst thing you can do is punish a new guy for the sins of the previous one.”
    I nodded. That was the last thing I wanted to do.
    â€œDuring my healing period, there were times I would sit on the floor and cry, yelling and screaming at my ex over the things he had done to hurt me. I then made sure I completely forgave him and dealt with the bitterness in my heart. I spent time in prayer and worship, allowing God’s presence to heal me and make my heart new and ready to love again.”
    Cynthia put her hand on her hip. “Then, I spent time getting to know me, figuring out what I wanted out of life and getting to know God’s perfect will for my life. Then I spent time figuring out what I wanted in a husband. I put together a list of everything I wanted and everything I didn’t want. Ladies, if you don’t have a list, don’t go another day without making one.”
    Lisa leaned forward again. I rolled my eyes at her to say, “Okay, I get it.” She smiled like she knew she had won the argument.
    Cynthia walked toward the podium and leaned against it. “Make sure you have a realistic list, though. Some of your lists are so unrealistic, Jesus Himself couldn’t live up to your expectations.”
    I leaned forward and gave Lisa the same look she had just given me. She answered my I-told-you-so look by holding up a hand.
    Cynthia continued, “Once you have your list, don’t compromise. I don’t care how cute he is, how rich he is, how wonderful he seems—if he doesn’t line up with what you want, let him go. Lowering our standards is what gets so many of us in trouble.
    â€œAnd make sure he fits with your destiny. The last thing you want is a man to distract you from reaching God’s purpose for your life. You should be able to come together and chase destiny as one. Instead