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roommate.”
                  He stops, his eyes going wide, his breath heaving in and out.  For a full thirty seconds he stands there staring at me, neither of us talking.  “What?”
                  I feel the calm wash over me and I stop my pacing to stand face to face with him, to look in his eyes.  I know his fists have clenched at his sides, just as I know that if he sees good reason to use them, he will.  Murph might be a happy guy, but he’s also a loyal one and if he thinks I’m a threat to someone he loves, especially if it involves his angel, he won’t be afraid to lay me out.
                  “What did you say?” he repeats.
                  I lift my brow and cross my arms over my chest, reveling in the pain free feeling of being able to do that.  “I think you heard me.  I’m transferring.  It’s almost second semester, Mia’s moving into the apartment with you.  You guys aren’t going to want a roommate hanging around during the few days that you might get to see each other.”
                  “Jake, you know we wouldn’t kick you out.  You’re family.”
                  Just that easy.  For Murph, family means something — whether they’re blood related or not.  As for the angel, Murph’s told me enough about her situation that I can understand that, for the two of them, they’re building their own family, one they can depend on.  It shocks me when I feel a tremor of regret that I’m walking away from it.
                  “Yeah, man, you know I feel the same, but I can’t stay.  I can’t,” I tell him when he goes to open his mouth and argue.  “I’ve already called the doc at school and had him make arrangements for my treatment to be transferred.  There’s a trainer lined up in Portland that can finish my program.  I’ve already emailed my counselor and started the process of figuring out whether my scholarship will cover the four classes I have left online, especially if we claim medical necessity, or if I have to apply somewhere else and forfeit the rest of it.  I need to go,” I finally say, and I see his sails deflate.
                  Murph will push when he thinks he can win, but he also knows when to step back, when to let the runner take their base instead of trying to make the play and throw them out.  He’s got a level head, and I know he can see that I’m not messing around.  I need to get out.  I might suffocate if I don’t.
                  “What about what the doc said about team cohesion? Staying mentally tough by staying a part of it? How are you going to do that if you’re in another state?”
                  It’s why I’m leaving.
                  “Murph, I’m not playing this season, I’m not going to be traveling.  You and I both know that my time with the team is done.  It would be different if I was coming back, but this was my last season and it’s over.  I only have a few classes left to finish my major.  I’m doing everything else the doctors have said, but I have to do them somewhere else.”
                  Somewhere it doesn’t hurt to fucking breathe.  Somewhere there isn’t a reminder around every corner of what I’m missing.  Somewhere that I can see Blue.
                  “Why Cora?”
                  I snap my eyes back to Murph’s and I can see the struggle in him.  “What do you mean?”
                  “Come on, Jake, we’ve known each other for almost four years.  I haven’t seen you take more than a passing interest in a girl since you and Lise broke up end of sophomore year, and even then you weren’t brokenhearted when she left.  The carpet’s worn from the girls trekking to and from your room in the past year.  What makes you want to be close to Cora?”
                  I need