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Authors: Kiki Hamilton
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the time to heal. Everyone will understand.”
“And in the meantime—” I knew my words were garbled. When I got emotional I was even harder to understand— “I’m going to lose everything I’ve worked for my whole life.”
“You’re not going to lose it, Kellen.” Her voice was soft and understanding.
“Yes, I am,” I snarled. “I won’t be able to play football the rest of the season. I can’t see any way that I’ll be able to play basketball either.” My voice broke. “I may never play any sport again the rest of my life.”
My mom stood up and walked over to me. At 6’3 I was almost a foot taller than her, yet I’d never really noticed the height difference before. She was always just mom. She was always the boss—the one who knew what to do to get things done. For the first time in my life it occurred to me that there were some things she couldn’t fix.
She rubbed my back. ‘If you make up your mind to play a sport—you will. If you make up your mind, Kellen—” she put her hand on my cheek and forced me to look at her— “anything is possible. You just might have to go about it a little differently than you originally planned.” Her tone changed. “Now, the only way that will happen is to do your physical therapy.” She patted my back. “Come on. We don’t want to be late for your appointment.”
IN THE END she was right. Even though I was exhausted, it felt good to work out my frustration on the exercise bike. Michael, the therapist, knew how hard to push me and when to back off. He seemed to understand my mood today and let me ride the bike longer than usual. I was grateful that he wasn’t quite as tough on the stretching exercises afterwards, though I was sure I would pay another day.
It was dark as we drove home.
“Did you meet your tutor?” Mom asked.
I looked out the window into the black night and against my will imagined Ivy Ly. We hadn’t talked much as she followed me around from class to class. She couldn’t make it to sixth period study hall today because of some ‘previous commitment’ so we were going to start tomorrow. Whatever. I didn’t have a clue what was going on in any of my classes, anyway. I’m sure she felt as uncomfortable as I did.
During the day my football buddies and a lot of my friends had come up to welcome me back. After they hugged me or high-fived or whatever, they would glance from me to her, trying to figure out why she was standing there. For some reason, I didn’t introduce her to anybody. I just ignored her. I knew she felt uncomfortable, but I guess that’s how I wanted her to feel.
I let out a long sigh and let my head fall back against the headrest. When had I become such an asshole?
“Yeah, I met her.”
My mom glanced over at me. “Was she nice?”
“She was fine.” I tried to ignore the sliver of guilt that speared me in the stomach. I had ignored Ivy because she made me mad.
Because she was confirmation of my weakness.
Chapter Fifteen
Ivy
I was exhausted when I got home. Who knew how tiring it was to be humiliated all day?
I pulled my math book from my backpack and slammed it onto the kitchen table. Somehow the loud noise made me feel better. I would never have given into my frustration if my mom had been home, but she didn’t get off work as an administrative assistant for the state until five.
I had a ton of my own homework to get caught up on for the classes I’d missed while I’d walked around being Q’s personal secretary. I flipped through the pages of my trig book looking for the assignment and tried not to think of how awkward I’d felt half the day standing next to someone who couldn’t even bother to acknowledge my existence. I was probably smarter than every one of his friends, yet somehow I stood there feeling completely stupid while they all acted like I was invisible.
My cell buzzed and a text came in. It was Mira.
So? How was it hanging with Q all day? Did he mention me?
I laughed as
“And in the meantime—” I knew my words were garbled. When I got emotional I was even harder to understand— “I’m going to lose everything I’ve worked for my whole life.”
“You’re not going to lose it, Kellen.” Her voice was soft and understanding.
“Yes, I am,” I snarled. “I won’t be able to play football the rest of the season. I can’t see any way that I’ll be able to play basketball either.” My voice broke. “I may never play any sport again the rest of my life.”
My mom stood up and walked over to me. At 6’3 I was almost a foot taller than her, yet I’d never really noticed the height difference before. She was always just mom. She was always the boss—the one who knew what to do to get things done. For the first time in my life it occurred to me that there were some things she couldn’t fix.
She rubbed my back. ‘If you make up your mind to play a sport—you will. If you make up your mind, Kellen—” she put her hand on my cheek and forced me to look at her— “anything is possible. You just might have to go about it a little differently than you originally planned.” Her tone changed. “Now, the only way that will happen is to do your physical therapy.” She patted my back. “Come on. We don’t want to be late for your appointment.”
IN THE END she was right. Even though I was exhausted, it felt good to work out my frustration on the exercise bike. Michael, the therapist, knew how hard to push me and when to back off. He seemed to understand my mood today and let me ride the bike longer than usual. I was grateful that he wasn’t quite as tough on the stretching exercises afterwards, though I was sure I would pay another day.
It was dark as we drove home.
“Did you meet your tutor?” Mom asked.
I looked out the window into the black night and against my will imagined Ivy Ly. We hadn’t talked much as she followed me around from class to class. She couldn’t make it to sixth period study hall today because of some ‘previous commitment’ so we were going to start tomorrow. Whatever. I didn’t have a clue what was going on in any of my classes, anyway. I’m sure she felt as uncomfortable as I did.
During the day my football buddies and a lot of my friends had come up to welcome me back. After they hugged me or high-fived or whatever, they would glance from me to her, trying to figure out why she was standing there. For some reason, I didn’t introduce her to anybody. I just ignored her. I knew she felt uncomfortable, but I guess that’s how I wanted her to feel.
I let out a long sigh and let my head fall back against the headrest. When had I become such an asshole?
“Yeah, I met her.”
My mom glanced over at me. “Was she nice?”
“She was fine.” I tried to ignore the sliver of guilt that speared me in the stomach. I had ignored Ivy because she made me mad.
Because she was confirmation of my weakness.
Chapter Fifteen
Ivy
I was exhausted when I got home. Who knew how tiring it was to be humiliated all day?
I pulled my math book from my backpack and slammed it onto the kitchen table. Somehow the loud noise made me feel better. I would never have given into my frustration if my mom had been home, but she didn’t get off work as an administrative assistant for the state until five.
I had a ton of my own homework to get caught up on for the classes I’d missed while I’d walked around being Q’s personal secretary. I flipped through the pages of my trig book looking for the assignment and tried not to think of how awkward I’d felt half the day standing next to someone who couldn’t even bother to acknowledge my existence. I was probably smarter than every one of his friends, yet somehow I stood there feeling completely stupid while they all acted like I was invisible.
My cell buzzed and a text came in. It was Mira.
So? How was it hanging with Q all day? Did he mention me?
I laughed as
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