her conversation with Mary. She hoped Drew was doing so sensitively and that Peter had not taken offence.
“Emily.” Harry held out a glass of punch. “Is Peter still not back?”
He rolled his eyes when she smiled.
“Truly you should cut him, he is treating you so appallingly. There are better men.”
“You, I suppose.” She laughed.
“Me, perhaps.”
“You are a terrible flirt.”
Harry sighed in a theatrical way, to make her laugh, then looked across the room. “Peter is back, and Drew must have talked some sense into him. He is smiling.”
Emily looked. He was coming to speak with her, and yes, he was smiling. He looked his old self.
“Peter.”
“Emily.” His smile fell when he reached her. But as he had done for the last few days, he did everything appropriate. He bowed, gripped her fingers and lifted them to his lips, then he straightened. “May I speak to you in private? There is something I must say.”
What about? The words stuck in her throat. She could not ask; whatever he wished to say made him look solemn again.
Her heartbeat stuttered as she walked across the room beside him, discomfort and awkwardness chasing her. She felt as though everyone stared. How would she fit within a life as Lady Brooke? She was not sure she could.
He led her into a dark dining room, where he must have been with Drew, because two chairs were out of place.
“Emily, I am sorry.”
He did not have to say any more. “It does not matter.” Mary was always telling her she was too timid. She should shout at him.
“Emily.” When she would have turned away, he gripped her hands. “It does matter. I know I am letting you down. You cannot be angrier with me than I am with myself.”
She could be, she would have to walk back into a ball held in their name, after this, to celebrate an engagement that was already over.
“I did not intend it. It is just… I must be honest with you. I met someone else a couple of months ago. It was not by choice. I have tried to fight it, and I have failed… I failed you…”
A tear slipped from her eye. She wiped it away. Why was she crying? She felt a fool, she had been equally afraid of marrying him as she was happy to be his wife. “I am sorry.”
His palms gripped either side of her head. “Do not be silly, what do you have to be sorry for? See, that is why I feel for you, because you are such a wonderful, selfless person, and you do not deserve me, Emily. You told me I had been good to you, when I knew I had not been. I have let you down, and if you married me, I would continue to do so. I cannot do that. It is better I accept who I am and let you find the man who will love you as you ought to be loved.”
More tears came; he wiped them away with his thumbs. “I am truly sorry, Emily.”
She took a breath. “What do we do?”
His thumb brushed her lip as it quivered. “We walk out as though nothing has been said, and we keep it a secret, and you go back to your parents, and we never mention it to a soul, and then you need never feel awkward.”
“What happens when you marry her?”
“It will not be published. She is… She is not like you, Emily. She would not cope with all of this. The world will discover the end of our engagement when you announce your wedding.”
She shook her head. She could not imagine marrying if Peter would not have her; she was not popular as Mary had been. That was why she’d been so flattered and so thrilled when Peter had paid attention to her. That was why she’d fallen for his charm. “I do not love you,” she said.
The room was only lit by the moonlight, and in that moment he moved into the light and it shone across his face. His expression looked stiff, but then he smiled. “I am glad. I have not broken your heart then…”
“But I shall be embarrassed.”
“You should not be. It is I who am embarrassed. You accepted me, with all my battered edges, and I was still not decent enough to be loyal to you. I am ashamed
“Emily.” Harry held out a glass of punch. “Is Peter still not back?”
He rolled his eyes when she smiled.
“Truly you should cut him, he is treating you so appallingly. There are better men.”
“You, I suppose.” She laughed.
“Me, perhaps.”
“You are a terrible flirt.”
Harry sighed in a theatrical way, to make her laugh, then looked across the room. “Peter is back, and Drew must have talked some sense into him. He is smiling.”
Emily looked. He was coming to speak with her, and yes, he was smiling. He looked his old self.
“Peter.”
“Emily.” His smile fell when he reached her. But as he had done for the last few days, he did everything appropriate. He bowed, gripped her fingers and lifted them to his lips, then he straightened. “May I speak to you in private? There is something I must say.”
What about? The words stuck in her throat. She could not ask; whatever he wished to say made him look solemn again.
Her heartbeat stuttered as she walked across the room beside him, discomfort and awkwardness chasing her. She felt as though everyone stared. How would she fit within a life as Lady Brooke? She was not sure she could.
He led her into a dark dining room, where he must have been with Drew, because two chairs were out of place.
“Emily, I am sorry.”
He did not have to say any more. “It does not matter.” Mary was always telling her she was too timid. She should shout at him.
“Emily.” When she would have turned away, he gripped her hands. “It does matter. I know I am letting you down. You cannot be angrier with me than I am with myself.”
She could be, she would have to walk back into a ball held in their name, after this, to celebrate an engagement that was already over.
“I did not intend it. It is just… I must be honest with you. I met someone else a couple of months ago. It was not by choice. I have tried to fight it, and I have failed… I failed you…”
A tear slipped from her eye. She wiped it away. Why was she crying? She felt a fool, she had been equally afraid of marrying him as she was happy to be his wife. “I am sorry.”
His palms gripped either side of her head. “Do not be silly, what do you have to be sorry for? See, that is why I feel for you, because you are such a wonderful, selfless person, and you do not deserve me, Emily. You told me I had been good to you, when I knew I had not been. I have let you down, and if you married me, I would continue to do so. I cannot do that. It is better I accept who I am and let you find the man who will love you as you ought to be loved.”
More tears came; he wiped them away with his thumbs. “I am truly sorry, Emily.”
She took a breath. “What do we do?”
His thumb brushed her lip as it quivered. “We walk out as though nothing has been said, and we keep it a secret, and you go back to your parents, and we never mention it to a soul, and then you need never feel awkward.”
“What happens when you marry her?”
“It will not be published. She is… She is not like you, Emily. She would not cope with all of this. The world will discover the end of our engagement when you announce your wedding.”
She shook her head. She could not imagine marrying if Peter would not have her; she was not popular as Mary had been. That was why she’d been so flattered and so thrilled when Peter had paid attention to her. That was why she’d fallen for his charm. “I do not love you,” she said.
The room was only lit by the moonlight, and in that moment he moved into the light and it shone across his face. His expression looked stiff, but then he smiled. “I am glad. I have not broken your heart then…”
“But I shall be embarrassed.”
“You should not be. It is I who am embarrassed. You accepted me, with all my battered edges, and I was still not decent enough to be loyal to you. I am ashamed
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