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Authors: Marthe Jocelyn
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I’ve got one more chapter. Come in to say good night. And don’t forget to brush your teeth.”
My mother’s bedroom door closed.
“Alyssa?” I whispered.
She must have slipped into the bathroom behind Jane. I was itching to shake Jean-Pierre’s message out of her. Why did she have to be the one to answer? And what had he said? Well, at least I was the one he was actually calling, not her.
I was also the one who finished the dishes and swept the floor. Just as I put the broom away, Jane came bouncing out with her face still drippy.
“You should see!” she whispered. “Alyssa has the glove on while she’s brushing! Thetoothbrush is dancing around by itself all over the room.”
“Whose toothbrush is she using?” I asked.
“Yours.”
Yuck! I went to the bathroom door. My turquoise toothbrush was rinsing itself under the faucet.
“This makes three things you’ve stolen from me today,” I said. “Backpack, J. P.’s phone call, and toothbrush. Just so you know I’m keeping track.”
“‘Just so you know I’m keeping track,’” she echoed, in a nasty, piping whine.
“Don’t you get tired of being a brat?” I asked her.
“Don’t
you
get tired of being a brat?” she asked me back. “A bossy, no-fun brat?”
“Hey,” I said, feeling slapped, almost. “We just were having fun, in case you hadn’t noticed!”
The phone rang again. This time I got it myself.
“Hey, Billie!”
“Jody! Thank God! Oh, thank you for calling back!”
She was slightly out of breath. “Your line was busy. What’s up?”
“Who’s on the phone?” called my mother.
“It’s for me, Mom!” I shouted back. “I’ve got trouble,” I said to Jody, turning to check that Alyssa was still in the bathroom, out of earshot. “The worst trouble.”
I explained the situation as quickly as I could, politely not using the word
thief,
and not even getting to the part about the gloves before Jody interrupted me.
“Oh, this is good,” she said. “This is very good.”
“Maybe you didn’t understand,” I said. “From over here, it’s not good at all!”
“What I mean is, from a scientific point of view, this is excellent timing. I’ve been testing a new recipe, and I was just thinking how I was ready for a human subject. I’ve replaced the fungi with dog food and mushroom soup for quicker action. This is a perfect test opportunity. Can you come up to my place now?”
I thought for half a second about telling my mother I had to go uptown alone in the wintrydark of night to assemble the Miraculous Antidote to my Invisibility Powder.
“How about tomorrow morning?” I suggested.
“Well, the only thing is, my mother is having her gruesome gang of friends here for morning coffee. It’s her turn to be hostess. They get together every month to play Spite and Malice, which is a card game, believe it or not, and no way on the planet am I going to hang around here to watch my mother cheating at cards while the ladies swoon over her macaroons, which she gets from Goldberg’s Bakery anyway.”
Sounds like Alyssa, I thought.
“So what you’re saying is …?”
“So what I’m saying is, I’ll be happy to help. I’m going to take notes, if you don’t mind, and I’ll supply the ingredients. I’ve got everything— oh, except for the gum! I still have braces, like forever, so I can’t do the gum. Is that cute little Hubert available?”
“Yes,” I said, hoping it was true.
“Okay, I’ll bring the rest and meet you somewhere far from the crone-fest in my living room. Where and when?”
It was way too cold to meet on a corner. We finally agreed on the Barnes & Noble at Eighty-second and Broadway, in the kids’ section, at noon.
I hung up feeling queasy. It was a good thing I couldn’t see Alyssa, because I wouldn’t have been able to look her straight in the eye. Jody’s mention of dog food really had me worried.
17 • In the Dark
J ane fell asleep on the floor, snuggled in her sleeping
My mother’s bedroom door closed.
“Alyssa?” I whispered.
She must have slipped into the bathroom behind Jane. I was itching to shake Jean-Pierre’s message out of her. Why did she have to be the one to answer? And what had he said? Well, at least I was the one he was actually calling, not her.
I was also the one who finished the dishes and swept the floor. Just as I put the broom away, Jane came bouncing out with her face still drippy.
“You should see!” she whispered. “Alyssa has the glove on while she’s brushing! Thetoothbrush is dancing around by itself all over the room.”
“Whose toothbrush is she using?” I asked.
“Yours.”
Yuck! I went to the bathroom door. My turquoise toothbrush was rinsing itself under the faucet.
“This makes three things you’ve stolen from me today,” I said. “Backpack, J. P.’s phone call, and toothbrush. Just so you know I’m keeping track.”
“‘Just so you know I’m keeping track,’” she echoed, in a nasty, piping whine.
“Don’t you get tired of being a brat?” I asked her.
“Don’t
you
get tired of being a brat?” she asked me back. “A bossy, no-fun brat?”
“Hey,” I said, feeling slapped, almost. “We just were having fun, in case you hadn’t noticed!”
The phone rang again. This time I got it myself.
“Hey, Billie!”
“Jody! Thank God! Oh, thank you for calling back!”
She was slightly out of breath. “Your line was busy. What’s up?”
“Who’s on the phone?” called my mother.
“It’s for me, Mom!” I shouted back. “I’ve got trouble,” I said to Jody, turning to check that Alyssa was still in the bathroom, out of earshot. “The worst trouble.”
I explained the situation as quickly as I could, politely not using the word
thief,
and not even getting to the part about the gloves before Jody interrupted me.
“Oh, this is good,” she said. “This is very good.”
“Maybe you didn’t understand,” I said. “From over here, it’s not good at all!”
“What I mean is, from a scientific point of view, this is excellent timing. I’ve been testing a new recipe, and I was just thinking how I was ready for a human subject. I’ve replaced the fungi with dog food and mushroom soup for quicker action. This is a perfect test opportunity. Can you come up to my place now?”
I thought for half a second about telling my mother I had to go uptown alone in the wintrydark of night to assemble the Miraculous Antidote to my Invisibility Powder.
“How about tomorrow morning?” I suggested.
“Well, the only thing is, my mother is having her gruesome gang of friends here for morning coffee. It’s her turn to be hostess. They get together every month to play Spite and Malice, which is a card game, believe it or not, and no way on the planet am I going to hang around here to watch my mother cheating at cards while the ladies swoon over her macaroons, which she gets from Goldberg’s Bakery anyway.”
Sounds like Alyssa, I thought.
“So what you’re saying is …?”
“So what I’m saying is, I’ll be happy to help. I’m going to take notes, if you don’t mind, and I’ll supply the ingredients. I’ve got everything— oh, except for the gum! I still have braces, like forever, so I can’t do the gum. Is that cute little Hubert available?”
“Yes,” I said, hoping it was true.
“Okay, I’ll bring the rest and meet you somewhere far from the crone-fest in my living room. Where and when?”
It was way too cold to meet on a corner. We finally agreed on the Barnes & Noble at Eighty-second and Broadway, in the kids’ section, at noon.
I hung up feeling queasy. It was a good thing I couldn’t see Alyssa, because I wouldn’t have been able to look her straight in the eye. Jody’s mention of dog food really had me worried.
17 • In the Dark
J ane fell asleep on the floor, snuggled in her sleeping
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