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Authors: Shane Kuhn
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fairly busy at work, and there are eyes and ears everywhere, I’m just not getting anywhere at the office.
Because Alice has been somewhat persistent about seeing me socially, I decide to agree to have a drink with her and try to work something from that angle. If I get her juiced up, maybe she’ll open up more or even take me back to her place where I can more easily have access to her laptop. Due to the aforementioned issues in my past, I decide to run this by Bob first.
“Do what you have to do, John,” Bob says impatiently. “We need movement. The Feds lost three more witnesses last week.”
“Are they the client, Bob?”
“You know I don’t discuss clients with operators. But I will say that this client is especially annoyed by delays. Hence my sense of urgency.”
“Of course.”
“Work the girl. She sounds promising.”
“When you say work the girl . . .”
“I mean whatever means necessary, John. You say she wants to see you socially. Do it. If she wants to fuck you, do it so well you get asked to do it again.”
“But you’ve always said . . .”
“Maybe you’re not hearing me, John. By any means necessary. Do we understand each other?”
“Yes, Bob.”
“And get a surveillance package going on her. I shouldn’t have to tell you that at this point in your career.”
“Roger that.”
On Friday morning, I see Alice and tell her I’d like to grab a drink with her. She is excited, and her excitement gives me an all too familiar feeling that I need to shake. From time to time, you are going to develop an affinity for an asset. That’s natural. You just need to constantly remind yourself that business is business and those types of feelings have no place in this particular business.
11
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MR. GOODY TWO-SHOES IS AN ASSHOLE
A fter work, I wait to meet Alice outside a bar in the East Village. I’m assuming she wants to drink in hipster paradise because chances are nil that she will run into anyone from the office. The bar is one of those downstairs speakeasy-type places where it always feels like it’s three in the morning. As I wait for her among the tattooed bike messengers and website designers talking about sustainable farming and tantric sex, I think to myself that Alice is a woman with diverse interests and tastes. Normally, this would be a major turn-on for me. In this case, however, it makes her unpredictable, so I tell myself that I should approach this evening with the same caution and respect shown by a snake charmer removing the lid on his basket. I will let her be in control. And even though Bob has given me carte blanche to take one for the team, I am going to call that Plan Z. I don’t need any more distractions, albeit highly pleasurable ones, standing in the way of my objective. Since I can’t allow myself to lose my edge to booze, I take a truckload of dopamine stimulants and speed. As long as I don’t keel over from an aneurism, this will keep me razor sharp.
When Alice arrives, a few things become crystal clear. Number one: she is really into me because she’s changed into a tight-fitting dress that would never fly at Bendini. Number two: she must live nearby, because there is no other way she would have had time tochange. And number three: judging by the trail nod she just gave the bartender, she is no stranger to this particular saloon. So I am in for it tonight. Her normal sexiness has been ratcheted up several notches from smoldering to inferno and her bed is probably a short stumble down the street.
“Let’s do a shot!” This is the first thing she says when she sits down.
“Nice to see you too.”
She has that look in her eye. The gunfighter’s squint. She is already thinking several steps ahead. I have noticed that when women decide they’re going to sleep with someone, their whole demeanor changes. It is as if they feel they can relax, let go, and reveal whatever they want about themselves—no matter how upsetting it might be to their
Because Alice has been somewhat persistent about seeing me socially, I decide to agree to have a drink with her and try to work something from that angle. If I get her juiced up, maybe she’ll open up more or even take me back to her place where I can more easily have access to her laptop. Due to the aforementioned issues in my past, I decide to run this by Bob first.
“Do what you have to do, John,” Bob says impatiently. “We need movement. The Feds lost three more witnesses last week.”
“Are they the client, Bob?”
“You know I don’t discuss clients with operators. But I will say that this client is especially annoyed by delays. Hence my sense of urgency.”
“Of course.”
“Work the girl. She sounds promising.”
“When you say work the girl . . .”
“I mean whatever means necessary, John. You say she wants to see you socially. Do it. If she wants to fuck you, do it so well you get asked to do it again.”
“But you’ve always said . . .”
“Maybe you’re not hearing me, John. By any means necessary. Do we understand each other?”
“Yes, Bob.”
“And get a surveillance package going on her. I shouldn’t have to tell you that at this point in your career.”
“Roger that.”
On Friday morning, I see Alice and tell her I’d like to grab a drink with her. She is excited, and her excitement gives me an all too familiar feeling that I need to shake. From time to time, you are going to develop an affinity for an asset. That’s natural. You just need to constantly remind yourself that business is business and those types of feelings have no place in this particular business.
11
----
MR. GOODY TWO-SHOES IS AN ASSHOLE
A fter work, I wait to meet Alice outside a bar in the East Village. I’m assuming she wants to drink in hipster paradise because chances are nil that she will run into anyone from the office. The bar is one of those downstairs speakeasy-type places where it always feels like it’s three in the morning. As I wait for her among the tattooed bike messengers and website designers talking about sustainable farming and tantric sex, I think to myself that Alice is a woman with diverse interests and tastes. Normally, this would be a major turn-on for me. In this case, however, it makes her unpredictable, so I tell myself that I should approach this evening with the same caution and respect shown by a snake charmer removing the lid on his basket. I will let her be in control. And even though Bob has given me carte blanche to take one for the team, I am going to call that Plan Z. I don’t need any more distractions, albeit highly pleasurable ones, standing in the way of my objective. Since I can’t allow myself to lose my edge to booze, I take a truckload of dopamine stimulants and speed. As long as I don’t keel over from an aneurism, this will keep me razor sharp.
When Alice arrives, a few things become crystal clear. Number one: she is really into me because she’s changed into a tight-fitting dress that would never fly at Bendini. Number two: she must live nearby, because there is no other way she would have had time tochange. And number three: judging by the trail nod she just gave the bartender, she is no stranger to this particular saloon. So I am in for it tonight. Her normal sexiness has been ratcheted up several notches from smoldering to inferno and her bed is probably a short stumble down the street.
“Let’s do a shot!” This is the first thing she says when she sits down.
“Nice to see you too.”
She has that look in her eye. The gunfighter’s squint. She is already thinking several steps ahead. I have noticed that when women decide they’re going to sleep with someone, their whole demeanor changes. It is as if they feel they can relax, let go, and reveal whatever they want about themselves—no matter how upsetting it might be to their
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