sleeping well."
I responded to his texts with just one. "Fell asleep thinking about you and just woke up, still thinking about you."
I could write love songs too!
I pulled off my clothes and jumped in the shower, letting the warm water slide down my face while anticipating what would happen when Ben got back. Would he tell me? Would I be able to act like myself and keep the secret or would I bust and tell him what I knew? I didn't think I could keep it to myself. It was too much, too big to hold in. I wasn't upset that he didn't tell me and I didn't want to push him to tell me, either. I wasn't sure what to do, but I knew thinking about it wasn't going to change anything. No matter how much I tried to anticipate what would happen, knowing me, whatever was going to come blasting out of my mouth like a bullet was gonna come once I saw him again. I had to stop focusing on it or I'd drive myself crazy.
At breakfast Lou reminded me of my promise, and I told her I'd do my best. She tried to talk to me about it, but I asked to change the subject. "I'm trying not to think about it," I said. "So hopefully I can just be normal when he gets here."
"I sure hope so. I don't want you messin' up such a good thing."
"I hope it doesn't come to that. I mean, he's going to have to tell me eventually."
"You're right about that," Lou said. "Would you like any coffee?" she asked. "There's a fresh pot in the kitchen."
"That would be great, thanks, Lou."
She smiled and walked out of the dining area, returning with the coffee pot. She poured some into my cup and some for herself, then sat with me while I ate toast and cheese grits, chatting about everything but Ben.
"Wow, I'm stuffed," I said, pushing the entirely empty plate away. "That was amazing though. Thank you so much."
She took my plate. "Oh, it ain't nothing. Just a normal mornin's breakfast. Whatcha got planned for the day?"
"I'm going to go for a long walk by the creek and read a book I brought with me. Ben said he should be back early this afternoon, so I've got a good few hours to relax and read before he's back."
"Sounds good." I could tell she was trying not to talk about Ben. "I'll just fetch some things for you to take with and put them in the knapsack for you."
"Thanks, Lou."
"You bet."
***
I walked along the creek, lost in my thoughts about Ben. I wasn't even thinking about Bret-Ben, just Ben-Ben. How he made me feel. How he looked at me. The way my stomach filled with butterflies every time I pictured his face. Finally settling on the perfect spot, I pulled out the throw and laid it on the ground, spreading it out just near the creek on a soft patch of grass and moss. I pulled out my book and got comfortable. The book, a story about a woman whose best friend dies in a car accident, pulled me in so deep, I had no idea how much time had passed.
"There you are," Ben said, shocking me out of my fictional world. "Lou said you'd come out here hours ago."
I jumped up, dropping the book on the throw. "Oh my God, you're back. I…I didn't realize the time." I looked at my wrist even though I hadn't worn a watch in years. "What time is it?"
"It's just after two," he said. "I got back at about one, took a quick shower and walked over here." He put his guitar down on the throw and pulled me close. "I missed you." He pressed his soft lips onto mine. I melted into him, feeling my body both relax and tense at the same time. Ben stirred feelings deep inside of me, feelings I couldn't understand or describe. I just knew I felt something I'd never felt before and I didn't want it to stop.
We made our way down to the throw, pushing the book and guitar aside, laying next to each other, touching and kissing and smiling through it all. It never even crossed my mind that I was kissing Bret Bennett, because I wasn't. I was kissing Ben Reynolds. An amazing, wonderful man who, for reasons I couldn't understand, thought I hung the moon. Bret Bennett didn't even factor into any of that,
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