Read Online The Information Junkie by Roderick Leyland - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Roderick Leyland
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pylons coming out of the power station. Thought about the meaning of life. All that sort of stuff.'
'Charlie, I'm too busy working to worry about the meaning of life.'
'Touché.' Pause. 'So, what's the score, doc?'
'Nil-one to you so far.'
'She consumes me, doc. First thing on my mind in the morning, last thing on my mind at night.'
'And Belinda...?'
'Oh, she copes, doc. Got her friends, close to her parents. Always seems to be doing something.'
'I still think you should see the specialist.'
'But, doc, you and I have such a good relationship. We go back so far.'
'Charlie...I think they've seen through me.'
'You mean, as they did through Martin?'
'Precisely.'
'So, time for you to go?'
''Fraid so.'
'No speeding car, for you, doc.'
'No...'
'Would you like to choose your exit?'
He raised an eyebrow.
'Tell you what, doc. Why don't we leave things open? I'll just walk out of your surgery.'
He nodded agreement, tipped me that sage look again.
'Oh, and, doc...how much do I owe you?'
'I'll send you my final bill.'
So, I'd lost two sources of support: Martin and the doc. And Ffion didn't exist except in my mind. But you've worked out something else, haven't you? I mean: I'm not real either, am I?
So, you want me to go now? Aw, and we'd enjoyed such a good relationship. Buddies! What are you doing to me? Come on, you can't do this. What's that? You've had enough and you want a resolution? Oh, come on . So much more to tell you, especially about Ffion. But I understand that you were becoming confused.
So, now I've got to make my exit. That's not so easy. Martin chose his own, I made it easy for the doc, all of the others were fantasies. Which just leaves Charlie.
But, of course, as you know, there's another behind all this. And he's a bit of a Charlie, too. So, there are bits of Charlie in him and parts of him in Charlie. But if you get rid of me, like this, how's it all going to end? Because nobody will accept a story without a conclusion: all the loose ends must be tied up. Oh, you can do that yourself...? Ah, very clever. What are you going to do: fax me, bounce it off a satellite, E-mail me? It's okay, I accept what you say. May I choose my own exit...?
Thank you very much.
Okay. Here goes:
When I got back from Romney Marsh Belinda wasn't in but I read her note which ended:
Darling, I've been thinking. I haven't needed to work since we married. We've got plenty of money, nice house, nice cars. I know you don't like facts and figures, sweetheart, but I've been doing a few sums. You actually don't need to work any more. You could draw your company pensions straightaway and the state one in fifteen years.
I thought you'd been looking a bit strained lately. Perhaps too much on your mind. Give up work, Charlie, and let's start living!
See you when I see you.
B.
X...O
Well, she'd made me an offer and given me an exit of sorts. I'd be a fool not to take it, wouldn't I? Then, of course, I still had to get in touch with Martin who wanted to talk about Cybernurse . Apparently he only grazed himself jumping from the car. I thought carefully and decided that as soon as I'd retired I'd change to a hobby very different from my work. And Martin had been getting too familiar with Belinda. So, I'd ease him out of my life. And Ffion? She's still there.
If you're a lad she's waiting for you at the end of the corridor: it's your flat, the door's open and she's gesturing you in with that freckly arm: 'Come on, Charlie. I'll make you feel good. I'll sort it all out for you. I've opened the door. Come on in.'
So, who does that now leave? Just Belinda: she seems to have taken her own exit, doesn't she? But, of course, you know who Belinda is. If you're a lass, she's the person who loves your chap; if you're a lad, you know what it's like to be loved by Belinda. And if you're a chap or a chapess without a partner at the moment I hope you find your Belinda or Charlie soon. Of course, you may be a Charlie who prefers Charlies
'Charlie, I'm too busy working to worry about the meaning of life.'
'Touché.' Pause. 'So, what's the score, doc?'
'Nil-one to you so far.'
'She consumes me, doc. First thing on my mind in the morning, last thing on my mind at night.'
'And Belinda...?'
'Oh, she copes, doc. Got her friends, close to her parents. Always seems to be doing something.'
'I still think you should see the specialist.'
'But, doc, you and I have such a good relationship. We go back so far.'
'Charlie...I think they've seen through me.'
'You mean, as they did through Martin?'
'Precisely.'
'So, time for you to go?'
''Fraid so.'
'No speeding car, for you, doc.'
'No...'
'Would you like to choose your exit?'
He raised an eyebrow.
'Tell you what, doc. Why don't we leave things open? I'll just walk out of your surgery.'
He nodded agreement, tipped me that sage look again.
'Oh, and, doc...how much do I owe you?'
'I'll send you my final bill.'
So, I'd lost two sources of support: Martin and the doc. And Ffion didn't exist except in my mind. But you've worked out something else, haven't you? I mean: I'm not real either, am I?
So, you want me to go now? Aw, and we'd enjoyed such a good relationship. Buddies! What are you doing to me? Come on, you can't do this. What's that? You've had enough and you want a resolution? Oh, come on . So much more to tell you, especially about Ffion. But I understand that you were becoming confused.
So, now I've got to make my exit. That's not so easy. Martin chose his own, I made it easy for the doc, all of the others were fantasies. Which just leaves Charlie.
But, of course, as you know, there's another behind all this. And he's a bit of a Charlie, too. So, there are bits of Charlie in him and parts of him in Charlie. But if you get rid of me, like this, how's it all going to end? Because nobody will accept a story without a conclusion: all the loose ends must be tied up. Oh, you can do that yourself...? Ah, very clever. What are you going to do: fax me, bounce it off a satellite, E-mail me? It's okay, I accept what you say. May I choose my own exit...?
Thank you very much.
Okay. Here goes:
When I got back from Romney Marsh Belinda wasn't in but I read her note which ended:
Darling, I've been thinking. I haven't needed to work since we married. We've got plenty of money, nice house, nice cars. I know you don't like facts and figures, sweetheart, but I've been doing a few sums. You actually don't need to work any more. You could draw your company pensions straightaway and the state one in fifteen years.
I thought you'd been looking a bit strained lately. Perhaps too much on your mind. Give up work, Charlie, and let's start living!
See you when I see you.
B.
X...O
Well, she'd made me an offer and given me an exit of sorts. I'd be a fool not to take it, wouldn't I? Then, of course, I still had to get in touch with Martin who wanted to talk about Cybernurse . Apparently he only grazed himself jumping from the car. I thought carefully and decided that as soon as I'd retired I'd change to a hobby very different from my work. And Martin had been getting too familiar with Belinda. So, I'd ease him out of my life. And Ffion? She's still there.
If you're a lad she's waiting for you at the end of the corridor: it's your flat, the door's open and she's gesturing you in with that freckly arm: 'Come on, Charlie. I'll make you feel good. I'll sort it all out for you. I've opened the door. Come on in.'
So, who does that now leave? Just Belinda: she seems to have taken her own exit, doesn't she? But, of course, you know who Belinda is. If you're a lass, she's the person who loves your chap; if you're a lad, you know what it's like to be loved by Belinda. And if you're a chap or a chapess without a partner at the moment I hope you find your Belinda or Charlie soon. Of course, you may be a Charlie who prefers Charlies
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