Read Online The Impossible Search for the Perfect Man by Debbie Howells/Susie Martyn - Free Book Online Page B

long.  As he begins
to snore, right on cue she starts again.  She just can’t help herself.
    ‘Darling?  Have you tried calling Arian?  You have to work at marriage you
know. Maybe you should try counselling?’
    I sit at the table resting my head in my
hands, wondering how much more of her insensitive comments I can take.
    ‘Men can be fragile creatures you know.
 They do expect certain things...’  
    Oh no. Please no .  Do not
let my mother be talking to me about sex.  That just about does it, and
it’s like the top exploding off a pressure cooker.  This time, I don’t
mince my words.
    ‘Look Mum, I know I’m not perfect, but
none of us are.  And you seem to have conveniently forgotten that it was Arian who chose to have the affair and Arian who chose to leave.  Without
any attempt whatsoever to communicate my shortcomings to me, or any attempt to
put things right.  I’m not sure you’ve really grasped this at all, because
the conversation we’re having is clearly one you should be having with Arian,
don’t you think?’
    I think she’s got the message, as that’s
the final word - thank God. It’s nice to know who you can rely on when the
chips are down.
    By the time they leave, I’m drained.
 I slump down on the sofa, utterly exhausted, in my lowest mood since I
moved in here.  Even Elmer’s picked up on the vibe and she’s exhausted
too, lying flat out, twitching slightly and producing blood curdling yelps as
she dreams about murdering small mammals, not even waking when I accidentally
tread on her.
    Later on, when Emma calls me to suggest
going out for a drink, I nearly say no, until I decide not to let my mother
ruin my day.  And a nice girly chat is probably just what I need.  I
agree to meet her at the Hope and Anchor in about an hour.
    In an effort to raise my flagging
spirits, I run myself a bath and pour in what remains of my most expensive bath
oil while turning up Owl City loud enough to have Elmer fleeing for her
bed.  But it has the desired effect and half an hour later, I’m feeling
human again and looking forward to seeing my friend.
    But when I walk in to the pub and see
Marcus there as well, I nearly change my mind.  Then I see that the Ben
that Emma fancies is there too.  Oh bugger .  They’ve seen me.
 
    I pin on my brightest smile and join
them.  And actually, after a large glass of wine, it’s quite an enjoyable
evening, marred only by the fact that Marcus is there.  The trouble is,
he’s still too good looking and confident.    And
way too good at everything, even at being nice like when he came round to mine
the other evening.  Men like that make me feel like a blob. 
After all, I’m five foot four of not terribly slim, not terribly accomplished,
mouse-haired, soon-to-be-divorced woman, while he’s done so many awfully
interesting things, which he tells Ben about now, in depth, as they have a
man-conversation about extreme sports and who won the footy last weekend.
    I tell Emma all about today’s
visitation.  She’s suitably horrified.
    ‘Honestly Lou.  Your mother could
have been a little more supportive, don’t you think?’
    I explain to Emma that I’ve always had
the feeling that until I married Arian, I had been a constant source of
disappointment to her.
    Emma’s thoughtful, then says wisely, ‘I shouldn’t take it too personally.  It sounds like your
mother is inherently incapable of approving of anything.’
    ‘Exactly,’ I agree.  ‘Except for my
wonderful ex-husband of course, whose arse, for some reason, the sun shines out
of…’
    Emma and I get a little bit tiddly and
giggly.  Oops.  I really shouldn’t have had that fourth glass of
wine, but it has been an exceptionally tough day, even by current standards.
    Marcus keeps giving me odd looks, as if
I’ve got a bogey on the end of my nose.  I keep checking it just to make
sure.  And predictably, Emma’s mobile bleeps one of Jerome’s poxy,
overpriced updates at her,