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boy.
From her husband dead she just take a set on Vance so, is like
every damn day she have work giving him to do.”
    Vance stared at Mommy with some amazement at
how cold her comment was. Mommy wasn’t fazed by his glare at her,
continued in a nonchalant tone,
    “You can stay there looking at mi. You better
mind you give her what she looking for. She so old you might give
her heart attack same time too.”
    Immediately, Vance face saddened, as if a
ghost had drained all the joy out his face. He heard the word heart
attack and it triggered an alarm button in him about his terminal
heart condition. He would probably die soon. He looked away from
his mother, bowed his head down and used one muddy hand to slowly
wipe the other muddy hand.
    I felt sorry for him. I felt my eyes
quivering in their sockets. I wanted to cry. If I could give him my
heart I would in the blink of an eye. I would do anything to save
his life. In February when he got his worst attack ever, I had to
pay Dr. Reid four thousand U.S. Dollars that I didn't have, well
actually it was Qwan’s money but whichever way you looked at it,
it’s still a lot of money, especially since Qwan had just paid my
tuition and in the next two months my tuition is due again for the
new school year again.
    Its eating me alive to know that after
marrying him, I have to ask him not for an additional four thousand
U.S. for Vance’s medication next year, but for forty thousand US
for Vance’s surgery. I felt like I was using him, just an
opportunist and I didn’t want to use anyone, especially since Qwan
had been there for me since I was fourteen. I’m marrying him for
the wrong reason. I didn't want to marry for the sake of getting
his money. I didn't want to use him. But I needed to get forty
thousand US for Vance. I had no choice. I looked at Vance and my
eyes got wet, I tried to steady my voice and liven up Vance,
    “Vance come on man, you’re living, you OK,
you not gonna die, stop acting like you dead already. Cheer up
man.”
    The pain wasn’t well hidden underneath my
awkward smile that I tried to fake. Vance could see the pain, the
worry, the uncertainty of living. He was looking at me but not
seeing me. He was in a deep and reflective zone.
    “How mi must smile? I’m dying in less than a
year.” His tone went down. “How you would feel?” His muddy hands,
with palm stretched to me, begging me to answer, “How? Put yourself
in my shoes, how?” An ugly dropping of mud fell from his hand to
the floor. Mom, Vance and I stared at the brown splat that fell. No
smile. Just stared. In pain. Hurting.
    My heart moved, the tears came running down
my face. The silence in the room seemed to stand there for a year.
I finally broke the silence.
    “Everything’s gonna be OK after today,”
Stifling my cry, I stumbled over the word, I. “I...I ...I” deep
inhale, gathered myself “I talk with ... with Dr. Reid. Arranged
everything already .... Everything’s gonna be OK. I’m certain.” I
promised him.
    Lying. I was lying. I wasn’t certain things
were going to be OK. I felt a heavy weight on my shoulders. I had
to marry Qwan for my brother, but I wasn’t certain how things would
work out, I just wasn’t.
    Vance’s reply was unexpected. It came as a
humungous shock to me and probably to everyone else too.
     

CHAPTER 9
Vance Has A Big Heart
    by: Leelia Lexings
    When Vance was twelve he was a lively twelve
year old. In the month of March, when Vance had turned twelve, he
didn’t get the royal blue and white BMX bicycle that he wanted for
his birthday. But, he did get a bright-yellow and black, handheld
textris videogame. He’d never put down his birthday game even if
the house was alighted on fire and he was trapped in the middle of
the blaze. He’d play with his bright-yellow game all day and even
late at nights we would still hear the videogame sounds after Mom
shouted,
    “Put down the game and go to your bed nuh
little boy!”
    His face would be stuck in