The Hawkline Monster: A Gothic Western

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Authors: Richard Brautigan
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after a few moments of trying to figure out what events led them away from the body of their beloved dead giant butler and upstairs into the arms of love-making.
    “We… suggested… it?” she repeated very slowly.
    “Yes,” Cameron said. “You insisted upon it. I thought it was a little strange myself, but what-the-hell, you’re running this show. If you want to fuck instead of taking care of your dead butler, that’s your business.”
    “This is very unusual,” Miss Hawkline said.
    “You’re right there,” Cameron said. “It ain’t your ordinary run-of-the-mill thing to do. I mean, I’ve never fucked before with a butler lying spread-out dead in the hall downstairs.”
    “I just can’t believe it,” Miss Hawkline said. By now she had turned her head away from Cameron and was staring up at the ceiling.
    “He’s dead,” Cameron said. “You’ve got 1 dead butler downstairs in the hall.”

• Won’t You Come Home, Bill Bailey, Won’t You Come Home? •
    Meanwhile, down in the laboratory above the ice caves everything was very quiet except for the movement of a shadow. It was a shadow that just barely existed between forms. At times the shadow would almost become a form. The shadow would hover at the very edge of something definite and perhaps even recognizable but then the shadow would drift away into abstraction.
    The laboratory was filled with strange equipment. Some of it was of Professor Hawkline’s invention. There were many work tables and thousands of bottles of chemicals and a battery to make electricity out here in the Dead Hills where there was no such thing.
    The laboratory was very cold. Actually, it was frozen because of its proximity to the ice caves underneath it.
    There were some cast iron stoves around the laboratory which were used to thaw it out when the Hawkline sisters came down here to work, trying to unravel the mystery of The Chemicals.
    Though there was no formal light in the room, there was still a slight portion of light coming from somewhere which for the moment wasn’t actually a definite place. The light was coming from somewhere in the laboratory but it was not possible to tell where the light originated.
    The light of course was needed to establish the shadow as it played like a child’s spirit between object and abstraction.
    Then the light became a definite place and the shadow was then related to the place where the light was coming from which was a large leaded-crystal jar filled with chemicals.
    This jar of chemicals was the reality and mission of Professor Hawkline’s lifework. The Chemicals were what he had placed his faith and energy in before he disappeared. It was now being completed by his two beautiful daughters who lay in bedrooms upstairs with two professional killers, and his daughters were wondering why they had gone off making love to these men while the freshly-dead body of their beloved giant butler lay ignored, unattended and not even covered up on the front hall floor.
    The Chemicals that resided in the jar were a combination of hundreds of things from all over the world. Some of The Chemicals were ancient and very difficult to obtain. There were a few drops of something from an Egyptian pyramid dating from the year 3000 B.C.

    There were distillates from the jungles of South America and drops of things from plants that grew near the snowline in the Himalayas.
    Ancient China, Rome and Greece had contributed things, too, that had found their way into the jar. Witchcraft and modern science, the newest of discoveries, had also contributed to the contents of the jar. There was even something that was reputed to have come all the way from Atlantis.
    It had taken a tremendous amount of energy and genius to establish harmony between the past and present in the jar. Only a man of Professor Hawkline’s talent and dedication could have joined these chemicals together in friendship and made them good neighbors.
    There of course had been the earlier

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