Read Online The Hatter is Mad: An Urban Fantasy Novel (The Lillim Callina Chronicles Book 2) by J.A. Cipriano - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: J.A. Cipriano
Tags: Fantasy
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form, but I didn’t catch it. I wasn’t sure what Bert was but reverting to human form probably meant he was done being a jerk-face for a while. Very slowly, Bert got to his hands and knees and began to crawl away, which really wasn’t a bad idea given that the damn bar was on fire. This is why I need primo fire insurance. Recently, it was starting to seem like everywhere I went caught fire. Then again, fire killed most things. Coincidence?
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t finish this conversation with a bang,” I said as I sauntered over to Bert and put the shotgun under his chin. “I’m willing to bet my gun will have a more lasting effect when you’re not in uber-gross form.”
“Because I’m about to give you mad good company for the price of leaving me the hell alone.” Bert coughed, and when bits of phlegm landed on my gun, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath so that I wouldn’t blow him into tiny pieces.
Caleb walked over and snapped his fingers. The flames that had spread across the bar went out with a quiet hiss. Stupid Caleb and his stupid fire mastery. I was really going to have to learn that trick. My insurance would drop by half, I bet.
“So,” Caleb said, kneeling down close to Bert. “Why don’t you make like a good lackey and let your boss know we’re here.”
Chapter 12
Ajax smiled, his lips curling disproportionally to the rest of his face as he settled into the black leather couch in his rather spacious office. He was wearing one of those black department store suits with a black tie and undershirt. I guess all black was his thing.
He threw his head back and began cackling. It made me want to smack him. He reached up and pulled off his black emo-glasses before putting one hand on his knee, struggling to catch his breath. He wiped his eyes with the back of his other hand and tried to take a deep breath.
I was less than amused. Leave it to Caleb to let me do all the heavy lifting and step in at the last minute to take credit for everything. Now we were at Ajax’s, and I wondered if Ajax could also turn all Johnny Blaze like the fat drunk from the bar. Part of me hoped I wouldn’t find out. It wasn’t that I was scared or anything but getting into short, painful squabbles wasn’t exactly the best way to make progress with the whole finding the Blue Prince thing we were supposed to be doing.
“I. Can’t. Believe. You. Did. That. You actually set the bar on fire and shot Bert,” Ajax said, barely containing his laughter long enough to speak. “I’d heard you were spunky, but this takes the cake.”
I closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath. I wasn’t going to start another fight.
“Yes, anyway, that pretty much leaves us with trying to find the Blue Prince in your town,” Caleb repeated for the third time in the conversation, sparing a glance at me that suggested he was aware of the length of my fuse and was doing his best to hurry this along.
“The Blue Prince isn’t that hard to find. He’s all about depression and sadness. Just go find a coffee shop with someone reading sappy poetry and crying,” Ajax replied with smirk.
I shook my head and sighed. “The Blue Prince kidnapped my friend Melanie. I think we all know that doesn’t mean happy fun time. So unless you have some way of helping us that doesn’t involve a wild goose chase through hipster coffee shops, I don’t see what use you are,” I growled, glaring at Ajax and to his credit, he didn’t squirm. He steepled his hands and looked past me at Caleb.
“Caleb,” I said, turning toward him. “We need some progress making and now. We know the Blue Prince is crazy. That’s not news. What we need to know is where he is and why a giant, car-flinging orc tried to kill me. We do not need to be standing around with Johnny Blaze chatting about the morning paper.” I glanced at Ajax. “No offense, by the way.”
“None taken.”
“Lillim, we have to go about this
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t finish this conversation with a bang,” I said as I sauntered over to Bert and put the shotgun under his chin. “I’m willing to bet my gun will have a more lasting effect when you’re not in uber-gross form.”
“Because I’m about to give you mad good company for the price of leaving me the hell alone.” Bert coughed, and when bits of phlegm landed on my gun, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath so that I wouldn’t blow him into tiny pieces.
Caleb walked over and snapped his fingers. The flames that had spread across the bar went out with a quiet hiss. Stupid Caleb and his stupid fire mastery. I was really going to have to learn that trick. My insurance would drop by half, I bet.
“So,” Caleb said, kneeling down close to Bert. “Why don’t you make like a good lackey and let your boss know we’re here.”
Chapter 12
Ajax smiled, his lips curling disproportionally to the rest of his face as he settled into the black leather couch in his rather spacious office. He was wearing one of those black department store suits with a black tie and undershirt. I guess all black was his thing.
He threw his head back and began cackling. It made me want to smack him. He reached up and pulled off his black emo-glasses before putting one hand on his knee, struggling to catch his breath. He wiped his eyes with the back of his other hand and tried to take a deep breath.
I was less than amused. Leave it to Caleb to let me do all the heavy lifting and step in at the last minute to take credit for everything. Now we were at Ajax’s, and I wondered if Ajax could also turn all Johnny Blaze like the fat drunk from the bar. Part of me hoped I wouldn’t find out. It wasn’t that I was scared or anything but getting into short, painful squabbles wasn’t exactly the best way to make progress with the whole finding the Blue Prince thing we were supposed to be doing.
“I. Can’t. Believe. You. Did. That. You actually set the bar on fire and shot Bert,” Ajax said, barely containing his laughter long enough to speak. “I’d heard you were spunky, but this takes the cake.”
I closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath. I wasn’t going to start another fight.
“Yes, anyway, that pretty much leaves us with trying to find the Blue Prince in your town,” Caleb repeated for the third time in the conversation, sparing a glance at me that suggested he was aware of the length of my fuse and was doing his best to hurry this along.
“The Blue Prince isn’t that hard to find. He’s all about depression and sadness. Just go find a coffee shop with someone reading sappy poetry and crying,” Ajax replied with smirk.
I shook my head and sighed. “The Blue Prince kidnapped my friend Melanie. I think we all know that doesn’t mean happy fun time. So unless you have some way of helping us that doesn’t involve a wild goose chase through hipster coffee shops, I don’t see what use you are,” I growled, glaring at Ajax and to his credit, he didn’t squirm. He steepled his hands and looked past me at Caleb.
“Caleb,” I said, turning toward him. “We need some progress making and now. We know the Blue Prince is crazy. That’s not news. What we need to know is where he is and why a giant, car-flinging orc tried to kill me. We do not need to be standing around with Johnny Blaze chatting about the morning paper.” I glanced at Ajax. “No offense, by the way.”
“None taken.”
“Lillim, we have to go about this
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