Read Online The Hamster of the Baskervilles by Bruce Hale - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Bruce Hale
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effervescence, when we was cleaning up."
"The
evidence,
" I said. "That's rightâevidence that someone, or several someones, lured the were-hamster into the trashed classroom to frame her, and cover their own tracks."
I scanned the crowd. An angry face was blasting me with laser eyes: Bosco Rebbizi. If looks could fry, I'd be a crispy critter.
"The culprit or culprits," I said, "vandalized for their own twisted purposes." Erik Nidd crept up to the circle and stared daggers at me. The tension stretched like an overstrung rubber band.
"And the culprit is...," I said, looking past Luke Busy to Bosco Rebbizi.
"It wasn't my idea!" Luke Busy exploded. "She made me do it, I swear!"
"Huh?"
The big badger pointed at Boom-Boom LaRue. "She wanted that Teacher of the Year Award, bad. She didn't want that mole lady to get it."
My head spun. "Right, so..."
"I did the damage," Luke said. "Those gashes in the wall, the tunnels on the playgroundâI did it all."
"You?" I said. "I mean, you! Because..."
The badger hung his massive, gray-striped head. "I'm just her smootchie-poo," he whispered. "I couldn't help myself."
"And that means...," said Natalie.
"Boom-Boom trashed the school to trash the mole lady's reputation." Luke Busy sighed.
Mr. Ratnose raised his eyebrows. "Darn, you're good," he muttered to me. I tipped my hat.
"Lies! All lies!" hissed Ms. LaRue, backing away. She turned to flee, then tripped over a net, expertly tossed by Maureen DeBree. "You'll hear from my lawyer."
"No," said Principal Zero, "we won't. But you might want to call him from jail."
A movement caught my eye. Luke Busy had taken advantage of the hullabaloo to sneak toward an open door.
"Stop him!" I shouted.
The badger made a break for it. Just then, Cool Beans materialized in the doorway. Luke Busy tripped over the possum's outthrust foot, and fell face firstâ
fwamp!
âknocking himself out cold.
Cool Beans sat on the soon-to-be ex-janitor.
"Thanks for the seat, Stan," he drawled. "I'm all flaked out from the chase."
While Maureen DeBree wrapped up the culprits in duct tape, Natalie and I had a heart-to-heart with my teacher.
"Pretty fancy detective work, I must admit," said Mr. Ratnose. Natalie nudged me. "So you knew all along it was the janitor, and you tricked him into confessing?" he asked.
I looked at Natalie, she looked at me. "Absolutely," we said together. Someone who won't tell a small fib for a box of jelly doughnuts doesn't want them bad enough.
As we wandered off into the crowd to find our families, Natalie and I were waylaid by two Dirty Rotten Stinkers: Erik Nidd and Bosco Rebbizi. I clenched my fists, my tail curled.
Bosco smiled. "So you wasn't a stool pigeon after all," he said. "I was wrong about you two."
Erik grinned, revealing more sparkly fangs than a vampire beauty pageant. "Were-hamster ruckus at Science Fair," he boomed. "Great stunt! Better than Bosco's. How'd ya like to be the newest Dirty Rotten Stinkers?"
I looked up at him and shook my head. "Not for all the cookies in Kowloon," I said. As we slipped past them, Erik turned in shock to Bosco. "I was
gonna show 'em the secret claw-shake, an' everything..."
As the old saying goes, I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would take someone like me as a member. Besidesâand I think Natalie would agree with me on thisâbetter a snooper than a Stinker, any day.
----
Has Chet bitten off
more than he can chew?
Find out in
This Gum for Hire
The stink alone should have tipped me off. I was taking a brain break on the swing set when a stench grabbed me in its funky blue fist.
It was strong enough to make a skunk blush. It smelled familiar.
Hmm,
I thought.
Cabbage and beans for breakfast?
But I didn't think fast enough.
Something snagged me in midswingâ
glomp!
âand there I hung, stuck in the sky.
It was Herman the Gila Monster. He wasn't as big as Seattle, he wasn't as mean as a six-pack of hungry sharks. But the Big Bad
"The
evidence,
" I said. "That's rightâevidence that someone, or several someones, lured the were-hamster into the trashed classroom to frame her, and cover their own tracks."
I scanned the crowd. An angry face was blasting me with laser eyes: Bosco Rebbizi. If looks could fry, I'd be a crispy critter.
"The culprit or culprits," I said, "vandalized for their own twisted purposes." Erik Nidd crept up to the circle and stared daggers at me. The tension stretched like an overstrung rubber band.
"And the culprit is...," I said, looking past Luke Busy to Bosco Rebbizi.
"It wasn't my idea!" Luke Busy exploded. "She made me do it, I swear!"
"Huh?"
The big badger pointed at Boom-Boom LaRue. "She wanted that Teacher of the Year Award, bad. She didn't want that mole lady to get it."
My head spun. "Right, so..."
"I did the damage," Luke said. "Those gashes in the wall, the tunnels on the playgroundâI did it all."
"You?" I said. "I mean, you! Because..."
The badger hung his massive, gray-striped head. "I'm just her smootchie-poo," he whispered. "I couldn't help myself."
"And that means...," said Natalie.
"Boom-Boom trashed the school to trash the mole lady's reputation." Luke Busy sighed.
Mr. Ratnose raised his eyebrows. "Darn, you're good," he muttered to me. I tipped my hat.
"Lies! All lies!" hissed Ms. LaRue, backing away. She turned to flee, then tripped over a net, expertly tossed by Maureen DeBree. "You'll hear from my lawyer."
"No," said Principal Zero, "we won't. But you might want to call him from jail."
A movement caught my eye. Luke Busy had taken advantage of the hullabaloo to sneak toward an open door.
"Stop him!" I shouted.
The badger made a break for it. Just then, Cool Beans materialized in the doorway. Luke Busy tripped over the possum's outthrust foot, and fell face firstâ
fwamp!
âknocking himself out cold.
Cool Beans sat on the soon-to-be ex-janitor.
"Thanks for the seat, Stan," he drawled. "I'm all flaked out from the chase."
While Maureen DeBree wrapped up the culprits in duct tape, Natalie and I had a heart-to-heart with my teacher.
"Pretty fancy detective work, I must admit," said Mr. Ratnose. Natalie nudged me. "So you knew all along it was the janitor, and you tricked him into confessing?" he asked.
I looked at Natalie, she looked at me. "Absolutely," we said together. Someone who won't tell a small fib for a box of jelly doughnuts doesn't want them bad enough.
As we wandered off into the crowd to find our families, Natalie and I were waylaid by two Dirty Rotten Stinkers: Erik Nidd and Bosco Rebbizi. I clenched my fists, my tail curled.
Bosco smiled. "So you wasn't a stool pigeon after all," he said. "I was wrong about you two."
Erik grinned, revealing more sparkly fangs than a vampire beauty pageant. "Were-hamster ruckus at Science Fair," he boomed. "Great stunt! Better than Bosco's. How'd ya like to be the newest Dirty Rotten Stinkers?"
I looked up at him and shook my head. "Not for all the cookies in Kowloon," I said. As we slipped past them, Erik turned in shock to Bosco. "I was
gonna show 'em the secret claw-shake, an' everything..."
As the old saying goes, I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would take someone like me as a member. Besidesâand I think Natalie would agree with me on thisâbetter a snooper than a Stinker, any day.
----
Has Chet bitten off
more than he can chew?
Find out in
This Gum for Hire
The stink alone should have tipped me off. I was taking a brain break on the swing set when a stench grabbed me in its funky blue fist.
It was strong enough to make a skunk blush. It smelled familiar.
Hmm,
I thought.
Cabbage and beans for breakfast?
But I didn't think fast enough.
Something snagged me in midswingâ
glomp!
âand there I hung, stuck in the sky.
It was Herman the Gila Monster. He wasn't as big as Seattle, he wasn't as mean as a six-pack of hungry sharks. But the Big Bad
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