her magazine onto a chair. âWe just think sheâs boring. Mind if I take a shower?â
She didnât wait for my answer, just walked out of the room. I wiped the twinsâ faces and let them down from their high chairs. Candaceâs shower ran for a long, long time. My parents always made me take short showers to conserve water.
Candaceâs dad came home after a while. He seemed surprised to find me watching his babies. The twins ran to climb his legs as if he were a tree. He asked where Candace was. I didnât hear the shower anymore.
âIn her room?â I suggested. Mr. Newman raised his eyebrows the same way Candace did. A few minutes later I got up and walked homeâto my quiet, quiet house.
Darcy
I CALLED CANDACE LATER and said, âIâm grounded!â But I never did tell her why I was grounded, because she didnât ask. She wanted to talk about my party. Actually, she only wanted to talk about Brianna.
âDonât you think Brianna acted like a turd?â she asked.
I thought quickly back over the party, trying to remember what lame thing Brianna had done.
âWell, she called Renée an elephant ,â Candace said. âIf I was Renée, I would have decked her.â
âDo you think Brianna meant it like that?â I asked.
âDonât you ?â Candace asked, as if I were entirely stupid or kidding or something. It made a chill go up my spine. Candace continued, âAnd who is she to call Renée an elephant? Briannaâs the one with a trunk!â
I was about to tell her that Renée thought Brianna wanted a nose job, but I didnât have a chance because Candace was saying, âNo, sheâs a cow! A big old, sway-backed moo cow. Those eyes of hers!â
I laughed. Brianna did have cow eyes.
Candace went on, âDonât you just see her in a little flowered apron, fussing over all her grubby little cowettes?â Candace put on a slow, dumb voice and said, âHo-hum, having babies, chewing my cud.â
I giggled.
âI tell you, Darcy, sometimes I think the world is turning me into my mother! Forcing me to spend my life taking care of everyone but myself! I mean, itâs not Briannaâs fault or anything, and maybe she doesnât mean to, but sometimes I feel like I have to remind her to breathe! I practically have to wipe her butt like sheâs one of the twerps!â
I had a creepy moment wondering if Candace included me in âeveryone she had to take care of.â But then she said, âBrianna actually asked me what she should say to Maya tomorrow! Can you believe that? She asked me how I wanted her to act!â
I pretended to be shocked. âBrianna asked that?â
âOh, so Brianna can audition for that play all by herself,â Candace continued. âBut somehow she canât make any other decision without me. What does she do when Iâm not there? Just sit like a lump with her hands in her lap?â
I said something or other. Candace sounded really upset, and I knew it was best to just let her roll.
âBriannaâs parents must be horrified!â Candace continued. âHere they are, science professors, and their own daughter has no more curiosity about the world than a cow!â
I certainly didnât remind Candace that Brianna got all Aâs.
âOh, excuse me, I forgot about her fabulous acting career,â Candace said sarcastically. âWhat a coincidence that she gets parts in the university plays, where she just happens to have not one, but two parents on the faculty. I wonder how many strings her parents will pull to get her a part this year.â
I laughed.
âI dread sitting through another one of those shows, donât you?â Candace did not wait for my answer. She went on, âAnd letâs say she does become an actress: How does she plan to raise all those baby cows of hers? Does she expect me to come and baby-sit? Does
Beth Ciotta
Hassan Daoud, Translated by Marilyn Booth
Theresa Meyers
Sally O'Brien
Katharine Sadler
Erin Hunter
Arshad Ahsanuddin
Vicki Delany
Sue Ann Jaffarian
Bobbie Ann Mason