Read Online The Girl Who Passed for Normal by Hugh Fleetwood - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Hugh Fleetwood
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and instead — she stays and they torment each other. It can’t be good for Catherine.”
“It can’t be good for her either. But perhaps up to now she’s always had to stay with the girl for some reason. Perhaps she’s planning to go away now, and she’s grooming you for the role of substitute mother. How’d you like that?”
“It’d be rather frightening. Because I’m sure Catherine’s never going to get completely better, and so however much one worked on her she’d always be a failure. It must be rather grim always having evidence of one’s failure in front of one’s eyes.”
David laughed. “We all have that, don’t we?”
“What do you mean?” Barbara said, but David just smiled at the ceiling and shook his head.
“I suppose it would be different if one could really love Catherine. I mean I love her, I think she’s a beautiful girl, but —”
“You feel sorry for her.”
“No. I think she’s sad in a way, but who knows? There’ssomething terribly fragile and innocent and almost — free, about Catherine. She’s like a moon or a planet that’s shot off into space, out of orbit. But she can’t reciprocate anything. She’s fond of me, I’m sure, but the thing is, for anyone to really save Catherine, loving her isn’t enough. They’d also have to get her to love them. And then it might not be hopeless .”
David laughed. “And so the world is redeemed by love. You are a good Christian.”
Barbara shook her head, and David said, “Anyway, I still want to meet them. Why don’t you take me up there tomorrow ? You can say we’re going somewhere together afterward, and I’m waiting for you.”
*
They went next day, and David said he liked Mary Emerson . He also said he liked Catherine. They had talked together and walked round the rock garden for five minutes.
The next day, Mary Emerson told Barbara that she had found David very nice; when Barbara asked Catherine what she had thought of David, she only smiled and nodded. Then, later that afternoon she suddenly said in a brisk voice, “Yes, I found him most charming —” and then stopped, and looked confused, as if she had used a phrase that she had learned by heart, that she knew to be apt, but whose meaning she could not understand.
*
But if Mary and Catherine Emerson liked David, Barbara’s mother didn’t.
Barbara had written her, telling her that she was living with an American, that she was very happy, and that hermove out of England had been the best thing she could have done.
Her mother wrote back and didn’t mention what Barbara had told her. “I’m so glad you have a flat‚” she wrote. “I have wanted to come to Rome all my life. I plan on coming for the month of July.”
Barbara wrote back that July was the hottest month in Rome, and that the apartment wasn’t big enough for guests. Her mother replied, “The heat has never bothered me, and if the apartment isn’t big enough I can easily stay in a hotel somewhere near you. Please book me a room.”
The morning she arrived David was at one of his meetings, so Barbara went alone to the airport. On the bus back into town she didn’t know how to start telling her mother about David, so she didn’t mention him. Her mother said how happy she was to finally be in Rome, and she hoped she would be able to see everything there was to see. Barbara took her to her hotel and they had lunch. Afterward they went to the apartment, her mother climbing the stairs very slowly.
“I don’t know if I’ll be coming to visit you very much if I have to climb all those stairs,” she said. She sat down, fat and exhausted, and Barbara could see her wet scalp through her thin, greasy hair.
David arrived at four. He smiled at Barbara’s mother and said, “So you made it up our stairs.”
Barbara’s mother nodded curtly. “Yes, thank you very much, David.”
“Did you have a good flight?” David asked.
She nodded again and said, “Yes, thank you very much, David.
“It can’t be good for her either. But perhaps up to now she’s always had to stay with the girl for some reason. Perhaps she’s planning to go away now, and she’s grooming you for the role of substitute mother. How’d you like that?”
“It’d be rather frightening. Because I’m sure Catherine’s never going to get completely better, and so however much one worked on her she’d always be a failure. It must be rather grim always having evidence of one’s failure in front of one’s eyes.”
David laughed. “We all have that, don’t we?”
“What do you mean?” Barbara said, but David just smiled at the ceiling and shook his head.
“I suppose it would be different if one could really love Catherine. I mean I love her, I think she’s a beautiful girl, but —”
“You feel sorry for her.”
“No. I think she’s sad in a way, but who knows? There’ssomething terribly fragile and innocent and almost — free, about Catherine. She’s like a moon or a planet that’s shot off into space, out of orbit. But she can’t reciprocate anything. She’s fond of me, I’m sure, but the thing is, for anyone to really save Catherine, loving her isn’t enough. They’d also have to get her to love them. And then it might not be hopeless .”
David laughed. “And so the world is redeemed by love. You are a good Christian.”
Barbara shook her head, and David said, “Anyway, I still want to meet them. Why don’t you take me up there tomorrow ? You can say we’re going somewhere together afterward, and I’m waiting for you.”
*
They went next day, and David said he liked Mary Emerson . He also said he liked Catherine. They had talked together and walked round the rock garden for five minutes.
The next day, Mary Emerson told Barbara that she had found David very nice; when Barbara asked Catherine what she had thought of David, she only smiled and nodded. Then, later that afternoon she suddenly said in a brisk voice, “Yes, I found him most charming —” and then stopped, and looked confused, as if she had used a phrase that she had learned by heart, that she knew to be apt, but whose meaning she could not understand.
*
But if Mary and Catherine Emerson liked David, Barbara’s mother didn’t.
Barbara had written her, telling her that she was living with an American, that she was very happy, and that hermove out of England had been the best thing she could have done.
Her mother wrote back and didn’t mention what Barbara had told her. “I’m so glad you have a flat‚” she wrote. “I have wanted to come to Rome all my life. I plan on coming for the month of July.”
Barbara wrote back that July was the hottest month in Rome, and that the apartment wasn’t big enough for guests. Her mother replied, “The heat has never bothered me, and if the apartment isn’t big enough I can easily stay in a hotel somewhere near you. Please book me a room.”
The morning she arrived David was at one of his meetings, so Barbara went alone to the airport. On the bus back into town she didn’t know how to start telling her mother about David, so she didn’t mention him. Her mother said how happy she was to finally be in Rome, and she hoped she would be able to see everything there was to see. Barbara took her to her hotel and they had lunch. Afterward they went to the apartment, her mother climbing the stairs very slowly.
“I don’t know if I’ll be coming to visit you very much if I have to climb all those stairs,” she said. She sat down, fat and exhausted, and Barbara could see her wet scalp through her thin, greasy hair.
David arrived at four. He smiled at Barbara’s mother and said, “So you made it up our stairs.”
Barbara’s mother nodded curtly. “Yes, thank you very much, David.”
“Did you have a good flight?” David asked.
She nodded again and said, “Yes, thank you very much, David.
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