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Authors: Lygia Fagundes Telles
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movie theater, I press one button and get
my horoscope, press another one and get my bank balance and the day I’m going to be
betrayed, neat, hanh? What a watch! The trips, Bunny! The red button is for a five
hour dose, the blue one gives you a day-long trip with transfers included, I get off
the train and onto another one. And the black button, eeeh, what a button. What fear!
The crazy woman in white comes with a black armband, she comes in mourning, the old
bag.”
“Who did you sell it to, answer me, Max!”
“To my grandpa.”
I pound his chest but he bites my neck. Not my neck! I try to say but I’m laughing
so much I can’t talk all I can do is clap my hand over his mouth, and then he bites
my hand. My hand is OK, but you can’t bite my neck because the scaly one will see
it right away what’s that mark? He asks about everything, wants to know everything
while he keeps eating the crust of the bread, sickening peeled that way. “I’ll have
dinner at Nona’s house and then we can go out to Zuza’s afterward.” As if I would
get really excited about the idea. Taking his fiancée to a joint like that. Why didn’t
he invite me to have dinner at Nona’s house, why? Bastard. Always flaunting his family
in my face.
“I don’t have any family,” I said. “They all died in an airplane crash. An international
flight. They were coming back from Scotland where they had gone to spend Christmas
with my uncles.” Ah, your uncles live in Scotland? They used to. They all died when
one night that lake monster rose up and swallowed my uncles and cousins and their
house and all. A Scottish monster, Lorena knows its name, she knows all about these
monsters. Rotten chic, to be swallowed by a monster in a Scottish lake. “There was
no one left no one, no one, no one,” I repeat and drink out of the glass Max hands
me. I drink it all down. To the bitter end, wasn’t that a movie? Where did I run across
that title?
“I want to buy an island, Bunny. You know it isn’t hard to buy an island? There’s
gobs of islands around.”
And he has enough family to fill up a ship. The hell with them. The hell with them
because the corset is melting there was a bitch of a corset closing off my lungs.
Now I can breathe, live. Shit it’s good to live. Who said that. I’m beautiful brilliant
I’m going to be on ten magazine covers. Super-important magazines. Success. Leave
the lousy others behind howling with envy. Miss nha-nha is right one needs to breathe
deeply all the time and then you feel fine. He could have invited me the bastard.
That Nona with her little leather house slippers. All the grandchildren dying to show
off how rich they are and her. She could have invited me. Aren’t I his fiancée? It
doesn’t matter next year stop. It’s close.
“Dragon-fly wings in green sauce, hanh? Fabulous that restaurant. Lightning-bug sauce
blinking off and on, flick, flick! Hanh?”
I turn into a Roman matron. Respect I want respect. That’s what Mother Alix doesn’t
understand. A saint. I’ll do everything you say my saint. A sainted grandmother. Lots
of milk very good lots of milk and that medicine and I beat my breast never again,
never again! We’ll see about it tomorrow. If you love me.
“The saints are transparent just like water. There used to be lots of tubes of water,
all different colors. At that chemical lab where I worked. I used to clean and the
little old Jew who liked me would come up and give me an apron to put on and let me
play with the tubes. He would explain to me about the colors blue red green. The water
would change colors. The smell. I still remember the smell but this was a smell I
liked because it had nothing to do with people. The little glass tubes changing color
just like us. Look, love, I drink them and I turn into a rainbow, blue, yellow, ay!
Don’t touch me or I’ll spill. I used to know a song, how did it
my horoscope, press another one and get my bank balance and the day I’m going to be
betrayed, neat, hanh? What a watch! The trips, Bunny! The red button is for a five
hour dose, the blue one gives you a day-long trip with transfers included, I get off
the train and onto another one. And the black button, eeeh, what a button. What fear!
The crazy woman in white comes with a black armband, she comes in mourning, the old
bag.”
“Who did you sell it to, answer me, Max!”
“To my grandpa.”
I pound his chest but he bites my neck. Not my neck! I try to say but I’m laughing
so much I can’t talk all I can do is clap my hand over his mouth, and then he bites
my hand. My hand is OK, but you can’t bite my neck because the scaly one will see
it right away what’s that mark? He asks about everything, wants to know everything
while he keeps eating the crust of the bread, sickening peeled that way. “I’ll have
dinner at Nona’s house and then we can go out to Zuza’s afterward.” As if I would
get really excited about the idea. Taking his fiancée to a joint like that. Why didn’t
he invite me to have dinner at Nona’s house, why? Bastard. Always flaunting his family
in my face.
“I don’t have any family,” I said. “They all died in an airplane crash. An international
flight. They were coming back from Scotland where they had gone to spend Christmas
with my uncles.” Ah, your uncles live in Scotland? They used to. They all died when
one night that lake monster rose up and swallowed my uncles and cousins and their
house and all. A Scottish monster, Lorena knows its name, she knows all about these
monsters. Rotten chic, to be swallowed by a monster in a Scottish lake. “There was
no one left no one, no one, no one,” I repeat and drink out of the glass Max hands
me. I drink it all down. To the bitter end, wasn’t that a movie? Where did I run across
that title?
“I want to buy an island, Bunny. You know it isn’t hard to buy an island? There’s
gobs of islands around.”
And he has enough family to fill up a ship. The hell with them. The hell with them
because the corset is melting there was a bitch of a corset closing off my lungs.
Now I can breathe, live. Shit it’s good to live. Who said that. I’m beautiful brilliant
I’m going to be on ten magazine covers. Super-important magazines. Success. Leave
the lousy others behind howling with envy. Miss nha-nha is right one needs to breathe
deeply all the time and then you feel fine. He could have invited me the bastard.
That Nona with her little leather house slippers. All the grandchildren dying to show
off how rich they are and her. She could have invited me. Aren’t I his fiancée? It
doesn’t matter next year stop. It’s close.
“Dragon-fly wings in green sauce, hanh? Fabulous that restaurant. Lightning-bug sauce
blinking off and on, flick, flick! Hanh?”
I turn into a Roman matron. Respect I want respect. That’s what Mother Alix doesn’t
understand. A saint. I’ll do everything you say my saint. A sainted grandmother. Lots
of milk very good lots of milk and that medicine and I beat my breast never again,
never again! We’ll see about it tomorrow. If you love me.
“The saints are transparent just like water. There used to be lots of tubes of water,
all different colors. At that chemical lab where I worked. I used to clean and the
little old Jew who liked me would come up and give me an apron to put on and let me
play with the tubes. He would explain to me about the colors blue red green. The water
would change colors. The smell. I still remember the smell but this was a smell I
liked because it had nothing to do with people. The little glass tubes changing color
just like us. Look, love, I drink them and I turn into a rainbow, blue, yellow, ay!
Don’t touch me or I’ll spill. I used to know a song, how did it
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