insisted that he choose one of two paintings that hung there as a reward.
It was not a difficult choice for Naughty since one of the paintings was a seascape and the other was of a horse. The horse, naturally, was the one he chose and the farmer wrapped it up for him
to take away, at the same time mentioning, quite casually, that it had no value at all but that the seascape was valued at a hundred guineas. But Naughty couldn’t have cared less. He
couldn’t understand why someone would want to hang an ugly picture on the wall just because it was worth lots of money!
In spite of the social restrictions placed on the girls, particularly by Naughty, there were no bars to their enjoyment of life, and as time went on, one by one they fell in love and married.
Cissie, the eldest, was the first. The family moved to a winter stopping ground alongside the Lees and a mutual attraction sprang up between her and a young man called Laurence, so they eloped. If
this sounds disrespectful to her parents, that wasn’t the case at all. Eloping is the traditional Romany way.
The courtship of the Romany is vastly different from that of the gorger. Even now, a Romany girl is a virgin when she marries. She marries one man for life, and even if widowed when young, it is
unlikely that she will marry again. This is not preached as a virtue, it is simply understood as one. We are brought up in a society which has strict moral standards and we think and behave in that
way, as did our parents and grandparents and theirs before them. The close, tight-knit Romany society has not been exposed to, nor is it receptive to, the changes that have characterised the gorger
way of life. If, in some ways, we are now reluctantly being drawn into the gorger society, these walls of strict morality, which we built to protect the purity of our Romany life, will be the last
to crumble.
Marriages are not arranged, but usually the parents will have a mate in mind for their sons or daughters. When they think the time is right they will make sure that they and their prospective
in-laws are travelling in the same direction, thus allowing a discreet meeting between boy and girl, safely supervised by two sets of parents.
When my mother was travelling, young people were allowed to look at each other, so long as the looks were not too familiar, and the first stage of casting glances went on for quite a while. They
would eventually move on to talking, but would certainly never go out with each other. Even to be seen alone together would straight away set the elders asking questions, and any answers had to be
good ones.
There is nothing immoral about the elopement and there is no sex involved; it is simply a commitment on the part of the young couple. They are not considered married, nor do they consider
themselves married, until the Romany ceremony has taken place, regardless of whether they have been through a ceremony in a church or a register office or anywhere else. Every member of my family
has eloped, including me. It is the way in which a Romany man claims his bride. Traditionally, they run off to the nearest group of Romanies, where they spend the night. Separately, of course.
Aunt Lena was the next to get married, to Terence Hewitt. Terence and his family were from Great Yarmouth and they had known each other for a long time through their families. The Hewitts were a
good Romany family, as were the Herons of Blackpool. Vera married Cardy Heron when they were both nineteen. Then Adeline fell in love with Sydney Holt, who was a gorger, which initially caused
quite a bit of commotion in the family. But he soon took to the Romany way of life and proved himself to be a wonderful husband to Adeline, so it wasn’t long before he was well and truly
accepted into the fold. It was now only my mother and Shunty who were yet to find husbands.
SEVEN
Secret Liaisons
Skegness was bustling in the summer of 1936. At Ingoldmells, Billy Butlin had opened his
Robert Graysmith
Linda Lael Miller
Robin Jones Gunn
Nancy Springer
James Sallis
Chris Fox
Tailley (MC 6)
Rich Restucci
John Harris
Fuyumi Ono