Read Online The Geek's Guide to Unrequited Love by Sarvenaz Tash - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Sarvenaz Tash
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one row and two a row behind it. Without consulting anyone, Devin walks in after Roxana as she slides into the row closer to the stage. I scowl as Felicia and I are forced to sit behind them.
âHi, and welcome to Inking Techniques, everyone,â the panel moderatorsays from the stage, then begins to introduce the panelists.
Iâm forced to watch as Devin leans way too close to Roxanaâs ear to whisper something to her, and as she laughs at whatever he says. Really? Like, how funny can he possibly be about the moderatorâs introduction? Also, he should shut up since the panel has started now.
I force myself to take deep breaths.
Get it together, Posner , I think. Focus on getting Roxana into the Zinc panel and it wonât matter what sweet nothings Devin whispers into her ear.
Because, above all, Roxy is a Z-man.
âI think I might be getting the hang of the communication intricacies of Homo sapiens,â Althena says in Issue #4. âYou never say what you mean. Your brain must function as a highly evolved translation program factoring in posture, eye movement, vocal tone, context of dialogue . . . otherwise no one would ever comprehend anyone else.â
âIâm not sure anyone does comprehend anyone else,â Charlie replies while a thought bubble expresses his true feelings. âAnd the only one who seems to understand my every feeling is not even human.â
Itâs trueâwe never say what we mean. But for once, I want to. And I want to say it to the one person who understands me better than anyone.
Chapter 9
If Only
Real Life
Came with
XP
AFTER THE INKING PANEL, I make my decision and (painfully) leave Roxana and Devin to their own devices. I tell them Iâll meet them at the hot dog stand with Casey at one thirty.
That gives me thirty minutes to root out what I can about the Zinc panel, which is hopefully enough time to gather some useful intel about getting us in. But hopefully not enough time for Roxana and the British stud muffin (crumpet?) to fall irrevocably in love.
I make my way over to where the Zinc panel will be, Stage 1-E, which is the smaller of one of the two main halls. These halls are reserved for only a few special events, and the Zinc panel at 3 p.m.is only 1-Eâs second of the day, followed by an advance screening of Godzilla: Unleashed at 6 p.m. Just as I told Felicia earlier, everything here needs wristbands. ROOMS WILL BE CLEARED OUT BETWEEN EACH PANEL IN THE MAIN HALLS AND WRISTBANDS WILL BE CHECKED , a sign tells me in the conâs signature Comic Sans font (which, besides actual comic books, is the only place Comic Sans is ever called for). ABSOLUTELY NO PHOTOGRAPHY OR VIDEOGRAPHY. ANYONE CAUGHT FILMING OR TAKING PICTURES WILL IMMEDIATELY BE ESCORTED OUT OF THE ROOM , another sign reads, adding insult to injury.
There are people lined up in front of 1-E already, every one of them adorned with a silver-colored piece of paper around their wrist. Iâve never been so jealous of a piece of sticky paper in my life. And then, worst of all, I catch a glimpse of the Zinc hater in the Papa Smurf hat. Unbelievable. He gets to see Robert Zinc and Roxana and I donât?
Thereâs a curly-haired guy in a teal Comic Con staff shirt standing guard in front of the line. I try to exhale my anger out before I approach him.
âExcuse me,â I say, putting on an I-promise-I-am-polite-and-rational smile and asking him something Iâm sure heâs heard at least a dozen times today, âbut is there any way I can get into this panel?â
âDo you have a wristband?â he asks, not in an unfriendly tone.
âNo,â I say. He starts to shake his head, but I continue, âI actually waited in line for it since last night. I was number one hundred and three in line, so I shouldâve had one. But then there was a great big bum rush and all these people cut ahead of me.â I realize exactly what
âHi, and welcome to Inking Techniques, everyone,â the panel moderatorsays from the stage, then begins to introduce the panelists.
Iâm forced to watch as Devin leans way too close to Roxanaâs ear to whisper something to her, and as she laughs at whatever he says. Really? Like, how funny can he possibly be about the moderatorâs introduction? Also, he should shut up since the panel has started now.
I force myself to take deep breaths.
Get it together, Posner , I think. Focus on getting Roxana into the Zinc panel and it wonât matter what sweet nothings Devin whispers into her ear.
Because, above all, Roxy is a Z-man.
âI think I might be getting the hang of the communication intricacies of Homo sapiens,â Althena says in Issue #4. âYou never say what you mean. Your brain must function as a highly evolved translation program factoring in posture, eye movement, vocal tone, context of dialogue . . . otherwise no one would ever comprehend anyone else.â
âIâm not sure anyone does comprehend anyone else,â Charlie replies while a thought bubble expresses his true feelings. âAnd the only one who seems to understand my every feeling is not even human.â
Itâs trueâwe never say what we mean. But for once, I want to. And I want to say it to the one person who understands me better than anyone.
Chapter 9
If Only
Real Life
Came with
XP
AFTER THE INKING PANEL, I make my decision and (painfully) leave Roxana and Devin to their own devices. I tell them Iâll meet them at the hot dog stand with Casey at one thirty.
That gives me thirty minutes to root out what I can about the Zinc panel, which is hopefully enough time to gather some useful intel about getting us in. But hopefully not enough time for Roxana and the British stud muffin (crumpet?) to fall irrevocably in love.
I make my way over to where the Zinc panel will be, Stage 1-E, which is the smaller of one of the two main halls. These halls are reserved for only a few special events, and the Zinc panel at 3 p.m.is only 1-Eâs second of the day, followed by an advance screening of Godzilla: Unleashed at 6 p.m. Just as I told Felicia earlier, everything here needs wristbands. ROOMS WILL BE CLEARED OUT BETWEEN EACH PANEL IN THE MAIN HALLS AND WRISTBANDS WILL BE CHECKED , a sign tells me in the conâs signature Comic Sans font (which, besides actual comic books, is the only place Comic Sans is ever called for). ABSOLUTELY NO PHOTOGRAPHY OR VIDEOGRAPHY. ANYONE CAUGHT FILMING OR TAKING PICTURES WILL IMMEDIATELY BE ESCORTED OUT OF THE ROOM , another sign reads, adding insult to injury.
There are people lined up in front of 1-E already, every one of them adorned with a silver-colored piece of paper around their wrist. Iâve never been so jealous of a piece of sticky paper in my life. And then, worst of all, I catch a glimpse of the Zinc hater in the Papa Smurf hat. Unbelievable. He gets to see Robert Zinc and Roxana and I donât?
Thereâs a curly-haired guy in a teal Comic Con staff shirt standing guard in front of the line. I try to exhale my anger out before I approach him.
âExcuse me,â I say, putting on an I-promise-I-am-polite-and-rational smile and asking him something Iâm sure heâs heard at least a dozen times today, âbut is there any way I can get into this panel?â
âDo you have a wristband?â he asks, not in an unfriendly tone.
âNo,â I say. He starts to shake his head, but I continue, âI actually waited in line for it since last night. I was number one hundred and three in line, so I shouldâve had one. But then there was a great big bum rush and all these people cut ahead of me.â I realize exactly what
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