Read Online The First Time by Joy Fielding - Free Book Online Page A

hoots and hollers of the boys the first time she wore her new white Gap T-shirt to school last spring, the envious looks of the girls, the not-so-veiled glances of her teachers. Overnight, everything changed. She was suddenly popular, the object of great conjecture and gossip. Everyone, it seemed, had an opinion as to her new status—she was a slut; she was an ice queen; she was a cock tease—as if her breasts had swallowed her previous self whole, and were now totally responsible for her behavior. Surprisingly, Kim discovered, she was no longerrequired to have opinions. It was enough she had breasts. Indeed, her teachers seemed surprised she was capable of coherent thought at all.
    Even her parents were affected by this sudden and unexpected development. Her mother looked at her with a combination of amazement and concern, while her father avoided looking at her altogether and, when he did, focused so hard on her face that Kim always felt he was about to fall over.
    Her phone started ringing night and day. Girls who’d never given her the time of day suddenly wanted to be her friend. Guys who’d never spoken to her in class, nerds and jocks alike, were calling her after school to ask her out: Gerry McDougal, captain of the football team; Marty Peshkin, star debater; Teddy Cranston of the melting chocolate brown eyes.
    Once again, Kim’s lips tingled with the remembrance of Teddy’s gentle touch. Once again she felt his hand brush against her breast, so softly, as if it were an accident, as if he hadn’t meant to do it. But of course he’d meant exactly that. Why else was he there?
    “Don’t,” she’d said softly, and he’d pretended not to hear, so she said it again, louder this time, and this time he listened, although he tried again later, and she was forced to say it again. “Don’t,” she said, thinking of her mother. “Please don’t.”
    “Don’t be in too big a rush,” her mother had cautioned during one of their earlier talks about sex. “You have so much time. And even with all the precautions in the world, accidents do happen.” A slight blush suddenly stained her cheek.
    “Like me?” Kim asked, having figured out long agothat a baby weighing over nine pounds was unlikely to have been three months premature.
    “The best accident that ever happened to me,” her mother said, not insulting her intelligence by denying the obvious, wrapping Kim in her arms, kissing her forehead.
    “Would you and Daddy have gotten married anyway?” Kim pressed.
    “Absolutely,” her mother said, giving her the answer Kim wanted to hear.
    I don’t think so, Kim thought now. She wasn’t blind to the way her parents looked at one another, quick glances in unguarded moments that shouted their true feelings even louder than the angry whispers that emanated with increasing regularity from behind their closed bedroom door. No way her parents would be together had it not been for her unexpected interference. She had trapped them into marriage, into being together. But the trap was old and no longer strong enough to hold them. It was only a matter of time before one of them worked up the strength and the courage to break free. And then where would little Kimbo be?
    One thing was certain: she would never allow her hormones to trap her into a loveless marriage. She would choose wisely and well. Although how much choice did she really have? Hadn’t both her grandmothers been abandoned by their husbands? Kim fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat. Were the women in her family fated to choose faithless men who would one day walk out on them? Maybe it was inevitable, possibly even genetic. Perhaps it was some sort of ancient family curse.
    Kim shrugged, as if trying to physically rid herself of the unpleasant thought, the sudden movement knockingher notebook to the floor, attracting the teacher’s unwanted attention. Mr. Bill Loewi, whose broad nose was too big for the rest of his narrow face and whose overly ruddy