With all the times you’ve listened to me over the years… if you’re serious about this, it can be done. Transfer into USF,” I say excitedly, determined to have her close to me. “You can live with me and Mya.” I feel so bad for her. I’m always so wrapped up in my own issues that I had no idea that she was feeling so bad.
“I don’t know . I’m just babbling. I would love to be with you and Mikey. Not that I don’t miss my family, but… my mom says Luke is doing better, he’s playing with the Renegades again so he’s not around either.”
I tense up at the mention of Luke. I have no idea what is going on with him, nor did I know that he was playing ball again, especially for the Renegades, the first team he and Mikey were assigned to in the minors. I remember all of the trips I took that summer to see him play. I try to brush the thoughts of him from my mind and focus on Deanna. This is about her… not him .
“I would love for you to be here , my room is plenty big enough and I have the extra bed,” I offer, ignoring her statement about Luke, trying to focus on Deanna’s needs.
“Is Mya going with you to Mikey ’s game?” she asks with a twinge of jealously.
“I was thinking of asking Frank.” It’s a statement, but I say it more as a question, wanting her opinion.
“J J, I think it’s a good idea. He would love it. Have you tw o— ”
“No… no… I’m not even positive he’s interested.”
“Oh, he’s defin itely interested. The question is, are you?”
I laugh. “ I don’t know… maybe.”
“Good for you . Ask him.”
Before we hang up, I promise to give her a play -by-play of the game. I’m happy to hear that she is her usual upbeat self by the time we end our call.
“Hey , Jazz, do you think I should ask Frank?” I turn to face her, only to find Frank standing behind her.
“Ask Frank what?” he asks, smiling.
Jazz laughs and walks out of the office, giving us some privacy. I’m left there with my foot in my mouth. I have no choice but to ask. I relay the news about Mikey and invite him to go along with me to the game. He’s thrilled that I asked and plans to pick me up by six.
***
We end up having a great time together. Mikey has a great game and the Rays beat Boston. It’s exciting to see him up on the big monitor as they flash his picture and statistics. He makes a couple of great plays behind the plate; two singles, a double and two RBI’s. Pretty impressive for a first game in the MLB. He looks confident, as if he’s been part of the team all along. I faithfully report the play-by-play to Deanna throughout the night. The game isn’t televised in Phoenix.
Mikey ’s flying to New York tomorrow. They are playing the Yankees at home. My dad told me they got a group together and are heading up by bus to watch him play at Yankee Stadium. Everyone is looking forward to it.
Chapter 7
(Luke)
I got through it, and I’m ready to take my life back , I say to myself the moment I open my eyes on the morning of August 20 th . Immediately following my talk with Mikey, I know I need help in coping with my feelings. I’m still battling the same demons over and over; three good days to four bad. I sit down with my mom, dad and Deanna, and confess to them what is going on with me. I tell them how I’m trying to work it out on my own, not wanting to burden them with more of my crap, but in return, all I’m doing is alienating everyone around me. I tell them how I’m struggling with being home and how I don’t feel as if I belong.
To my surprise, relief is written all over their faces. This is the breakthrough they’ve been waiting on since I came home. With my family’s support, along with the Rays’ organization, they get me the help I need.
I beg in to work with a therapist to help me come to terms with everything that happened. I’m having a hard time forgiving myself. No matter how you look at it, I had taken a life. I pushed everyone I loved away,
“I don’t know . I’m just babbling. I would love to be with you and Mikey. Not that I don’t miss my family, but… my mom says Luke is doing better, he’s playing with the Renegades again so he’s not around either.”
I tense up at the mention of Luke. I have no idea what is going on with him, nor did I know that he was playing ball again, especially for the Renegades, the first team he and Mikey were assigned to in the minors. I remember all of the trips I took that summer to see him play. I try to brush the thoughts of him from my mind and focus on Deanna. This is about her… not him .
“I would love for you to be here , my room is plenty big enough and I have the extra bed,” I offer, ignoring her statement about Luke, trying to focus on Deanna’s needs.
“Is Mya going with you to Mikey ’s game?” she asks with a twinge of jealously.
“I was thinking of asking Frank.” It’s a statement, but I say it more as a question, wanting her opinion.
“J J, I think it’s a good idea. He would love it. Have you tw o— ”
“No… no… I’m not even positive he’s interested.”
“Oh, he’s defin itely interested. The question is, are you?”
I laugh. “ I don’t know… maybe.”
“Good for you . Ask him.”
Before we hang up, I promise to give her a play -by-play of the game. I’m happy to hear that she is her usual upbeat self by the time we end our call.
“Hey , Jazz, do you think I should ask Frank?” I turn to face her, only to find Frank standing behind her.
“Ask Frank what?” he asks, smiling.
Jazz laughs and walks out of the office, giving us some privacy. I’m left there with my foot in my mouth. I have no choice but to ask. I relay the news about Mikey and invite him to go along with me to the game. He’s thrilled that I asked and plans to pick me up by six.
***
We end up having a great time together. Mikey has a great game and the Rays beat Boston. It’s exciting to see him up on the big monitor as they flash his picture and statistics. He makes a couple of great plays behind the plate; two singles, a double and two RBI’s. Pretty impressive for a first game in the MLB. He looks confident, as if he’s been part of the team all along. I faithfully report the play-by-play to Deanna throughout the night. The game isn’t televised in Phoenix.
Mikey ’s flying to New York tomorrow. They are playing the Yankees at home. My dad told me they got a group together and are heading up by bus to watch him play at Yankee Stadium. Everyone is looking forward to it.
Chapter 7
(Luke)
I got through it, and I’m ready to take my life back , I say to myself the moment I open my eyes on the morning of August 20 th . Immediately following my talk with Mikey, I know I need help in coping with my feelings. I’m still battling the same demons over and over; three good days to four bad. I sit down with my mom, dad and Deanna, and confess to them what is going on with me. I tell them how I’m trying to work it out on my own, not wanting to burden them with more of my crap, but in return, all I’m doing is alienating everyone around me. I tell them how I’m struggling with being home and how I don’t feel as if I belong.
To my surprise, relief is written all over their faces. This is the breakthrough they’ve been waiting on since I came home. With my family’s support, along with the Rays’ organization, they get me the help I need.
I beg in to work with a therapist to help me come to terms with everything that happened. I’m having a hard time forgiving myself. No matter how you look at it, I had taken a life. I pushed everyone I loved away,
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